My Everyday Thoughts
I am going to be a dental comedienne. I will get a dental degree and make people laugh while I clean their teeth. I won't tell them that I will make them laugh, though. I would love to see their face change colors as they are trying desperately not to spit on me. I will probably get spit on from time to time... or every day. I guess I will wear a plastic mask and goggles. It's a two-in-one! I can be a funny dentist.
If you ever get a charlie horse, do you know how to rid of it? BITE IT. "Aah! My leg! I am not flexible, what do I do? I can't reach! DOG, bite it for me!" If the dog will not bite you, it is time to whip out the peanut butter, you may get bitten that way. I hope you aren't allergic!
I don't understand why some people sign their names so that THEY are the only person who can decipher it. I mean, that is pretty lazy to only write a line and call it your name. "Who signed this petition?"
"Umm... It appears to be Liney McLinerton's signature if I am seeing it correctly."
"Yep, that looks about right."
Did you ever fall off of a ride-on lawn mower when it was going down a hill? Did you make it back on, or is it still going?
Whenever I hear my name followed by coughing and gagging, I am in for a pleasant surprise. It immediately tells me that the dog probably hacked up something tasty-looking, and that I am the only one "man" enough to look at it in order to clean it up. I run when I hear the warning signals.
The first time I went to this one steak house restaurant, it was an okay experience. I found a hair in the potato wedges, and I was completely full before I even began to eat my meal. There is a first time for everything. I experienced a first at that restaurant.... So, here it goes, it was the first time I ever listened to Dolly Parton while in the bathroom.