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My Everyday Thoughts

I am going to be a dental comedienne.  I will get a dental degree and make people laugh while I clean their teeth.  I won't tell them that I will make them laugh, though.  I would love to see their face change colors as they are trying desperately not to spit on me.  I will probably get spit on from time to time... or every day.  I guess I will wear a plastic mask and goggles.  It's a two-in-one!  I can be a funny dentist.

 

If you ever get a charlie horse, do you know how to rid of it?  BITE IT.  "Aah! My leg! I am not flexible, what do I do?  I can't reach!  DOG, bite it for me!"  If the dog will not bite you, it is time to whip out the peanut butter, you may get bitten that way.  I hope you aren't allergic!

 

I don't understand why some people sign their names so that THEY are the only person who can decipher it.  I mean, that is pretty lazy to only write a line and call it your name.  "Who signed this petition?" 

"Umm... It appears to be Liney McLinerton's signature if I am seeing it correctly."

"Yep, that looks about right."

 

Did you ever fall off of a ride-on lawn mower when it was going down a hill?  Did you make it back on, or is it still going?

 

Whenever I hear my name followed by coughing and gagging, I am in for a pleasant surprise.  It immediately tells me that the dog probably hacked up something tasty-looking, and that I am the only one "man" enough to look at it in order to clean it up.  I run when I hear the warning signals.

 

The first time I went to this one steak house restaurant, it was an okay experience.  I found a hair in the potato wedges, and I was completely full before I even began to eat my meal.  There is a first time for everything.  I experienced a first at that restaurant.... So, here it goes, it was the first time I ever listened to Dolly Parton while in the bathroom.

BBUDS BBUDS 18-21, F Mar 22, 2010

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