Enough Is Enough.

There are always a few bad apples in the barrel, or so the saying goes. However, I have become aware that there are enough bad ones to start spoiling the barrel for the rest of us.

I'm talking about some members approaching other members, out of the blue, for unwanted sex chat. I am sure I am not alone in my belief that this is utterly unacceptable.

People come to this site to avoid exactly that sort of behaviour. This is not a bar, or a club; it is meant to be a safe place for self-expression, and sharing things that would ordinarily be private.

If you are doing this, you are ruining the Experience Project for some people. Please don't. The world is an uncomfortable place for many people, and your actions are destroying the feeling of safety that makes the Experience Project special.

These people that you approach - they have shared something special and close to them. At the very least, they deserve your respect, and civil behaviour. Also, you should remember that this is a place where people can respect you for who you are as well, but only if you behave appropriately. If you expect your secrets to be treated with care and trust, do not let down the other members of this site by failing to treat them the same way.

Real men know that there's a time and place for a bold approach. This is not the time. The non-adult sections of the site are not the place.


Added 27 July 2007

If anyone has had a problem with another user because of this sort of behaviour, the EP team have now created a "report user" option. It can be found in the top right hand corner of that member's profile page, and it also allows you to tell the EP team why you are reporting them.

Fortunately, cases of bad behaviour are not common on the Experience Project, but this is no reason to tolerate them.
TheTardyDodo TheTardyDodo
31-35, M
55 Responses Jul 22, 2007

Go **** up a rope, Dodo. If somebody is sending you messages that you don't like, just block them. It takes about 5 seconds.<br />
<br />
Why make it into a big drama that you just have to comment on?

How strange. I thought it was easy to say, "No." or "Get lost." What's the pain in doing that? Most of the answers here don't seem to understand what it means to "live and let live," which is the motto of EP. Or didn't you know?

Today I received two sexually inappropriate short messages from a "mobile device". Therefore, there was no profile and I was unable to block them. I am relatively new to this site and have VERY little experience with social networking via the www. However, I have blocked these types of messages, only 1 or 2, on a very regular basis. Thank you for explaining how to report the user. I will do this in the future.

A great story Dodo, and much needed. Quite impressive too, is the number of recommendations it has. I don't know if I`ve seen a story with more recommendations that this. :)

You are totaly right. If some one wants to do that kind of stuff go somwhere else.

thank you for the warnings

i completely agree<br />

well if you come up to anyone at a bar and u don't know them and ur asking for a "sex chat" I'm guessing 10 out of 10 times ur gonna get the same reaction!! <br />
<br />
wow well who ever those guys are they sure did get an earful...I hope they heard u!! <br />
well done!!

Is there some way that we can make reading this message a part of the registration process. I've only been here a couple of weeks, but I can see that this can be a problem.<br />
<br />
In the two weeks I've been here, I've flirted casually with some folks, and even had an erotic exchange of e-mails. But that's because those people made it clear that's what they were here for. I've also made friends here I would not do anything like that with, because that's just not who they are they are at the moment, or what they're here for.<br />
<br />
This site is for friends. If a friend and I mutually enjoy an exchange of dirty jokes, innuendo, or erotic stories, fine; but to walk up to a random stranger, on the street or online, and hit on them? Well, this group's logo says it all.<br />
<br />
:-) E. Bunbury

omg thats so awfull i hope there kicked off cause its a great site hate to see it turned to such depraved perverts there s loads of pervy sites why dont they go somwhere else sick <br />
hope it stays clean

Exactly. It is annoying when someone abuses the site in ways it was not intended for...but at the same time they do it for the express purpose of getting a "rise" out of you. Now members have the power to report said abusers of the EP site. So, all I can say is EXERCISE YOUR RIGHT TO REPORT, AND REPORT!!!!

I' m new to EP, and haven't seen any of what you've talked about, and I thought that this was a special place that encouraged folks of all ages to express their true feelings, support each other and in general help broaden the human experience. <br />
In other words folks looking to grow in every way, to connect with others but in a spiritual way. It would seem that we really do need some body who has the 'Audacity to Hope'; to lead the country. Or at the very least, all of those who do abuse this space, could read it.

This is the Experience Project, not the W*** Project!!! There are lots of places for the other activities!

Thank you!

You said it, TD. There are sites set up specifically for that behavior. They can go there.

I totally agree with you, Tardy Dodo, but like it's been said several times, it's as easy as reporting and blocking. EP can make them go away. <br />
PS.........Barbara, I wish I had my full pink bunny rabbit costume!

I just read the first few lines of your story, and I was already with you! Well said.

I agree, that kind of behaviour is uncool. There are other places for that.

Well done, for this to be effective it will require action. Please do report inappropriate behaviour but remember not to abuse reporting also

Thank you for communicating on a situation that needs to be shared and discussed. Thanks to EP for for taking a proactive approach regarding this matter. Unfortunately the down side is that we can create various systems to curb this type of unprovoked harassment and there will continue to be the male types that only use the little brain between their legs to function. For this type of individual it poses far to great of an obstacle to use the mass between their ears to communicate in a intelligent fashion. All this type of person wants out of life is some instant gratification at the expense of others. All you horny guys that need some quick internet sex to provide some instant gratification, start a group solicitation on line sex and as people are trolling your site they can contact you!

Thank you for speaking up about this... I have had a few of these over the last 2 weeks.

I like your outrage, Tardy. As a man who has something of a protective streak when it comes to women, I find it truly repugnant when men debase what is - in general - a relatively safe and civilized place for people to express themselves openly in a secure environment. There will always be men anxious to remind us that we are not so far from the caves of the Neanderthals.

well said

Thankx dodo

You go girl!

I am in complete agreement. I have been the recipient of unsolicited sexual attention and it's just not the place!

I totally agree but I don't think that those bad apples would care at all. They do what they want and they will. Unfortunately.

Take no prisoners . Kick em off !!!!!!!!!!!

Sad but true, EP is a safe place where we can all reveal who we are and share this divine human existence. However some men seem to exist for one thing only.

Thank you so much for being concern about inappropriate behavours. I have just joined this site ,and have just shared my well kept feelings of 14 years. keep it up.

I stumbled onto this site during the summer of 07 while I was suffering from extreme depression. I have made as many man friends as women friends. This is not the pick up site. We should be able to talk as freely as we want about anything. I am not sure but there are probably sex sites out there?? Not my bag. You have to look at the women too. Some of them are probably leading the men on.

So no sex chat than huh?<br />
<br />
No one's ever asked me for sex chat, Maybe I am not attractive enough. Maybe they think I am to agressive words. Maybe I talk to "HARD"<br />
<br />
Anyways I charge for my sex chat. $2.99 for the first minute $5.00 for each additional min after.<br />
<br />
But I see where your coming from

While I agree with what you have to say I take exception to your singling out Men. That seems to be a bit narrow minded to me as well as prejudicial against the rest of us men on the site. Perhaps we should try to weed out all PEOPLE who practice such unwanted behaviour.

No need to get to upset and over the top its life I am afraid, as long as the system for reporting works.<br />
Sounds to me like the EP team are well on it and will take a very dim view.

get rid all those toxic!

I have to agree with what CrimsonTears just said. If someone has a provocative and sexy avatar or posts sexy photos you are bound to attract the perverts among us. This is an anonymous website, open to anyone, so it will always attract predators. We cant stop that, without changing the free and open nature of the EP community. I think the report function is a great addition, the best way to go. If you think about it an advantage of this site is that whatever someone does is recorded. The PM in question can always be saved as evidence. Compare that to the real world where someone touches you or says something and you have no evidence to prove it.<br />
<br />
BTW, I also think its a good idea to maybe create a group for these guys, and so admin can then put them there as members, where they can be watched carefully.

I like AnotherSunnyDay's suggestion.<br />
<br />
I'd also like to add, please don't respond to the perves, even if it's a negative slap in the face response, it still gives them the attention they were seeking. It will annoy them tons more just to block them! Be done with it, report them if it makes you feel better but please, just block them and be done with it. <br />
<br />
Also please keep in mind, whether we are anonymous or whether someone meets us for the first time in person, everyone makes an impression in their mind of you. You could be the sweetest kindest girl next door, or boy next door. But if you repeatedly make comments about how wet you are, or how horny you are, or how big you like them. Honestly you are only giving yourself a fan base of invisible internet perverts. I'm not saying don't make comments like that, because this is an open forum which encourages Experiences of all sorts. Just stop and think....Do you really want to be known as the EP person that only wants sex. Cause when a perv reads your posts, they will skip all the posts that reflect the good person that you are.

opp's too late the "forum" already exist ....not many members. and very little activity....???

TheTardyDodo, and all others on this thread, would you think it would help , just to make an "experience/interest" forum, for them..cause I'll do it ....call it "I like cyber-sex"..just to see how many members it gets..lol

I did not even realize there was an adult section till yesterday!<br />
I am pleased to report that my time here has been pleasant.....<br />
Sorry to hear there have been problems.

Thank you Mr Dodo. It's good to know that there are men who are just as furious. <br />

what about the naked pictures some people have. Disgusting!! The last thing I am here for is to see someones johnson hanging out all over the place!

so true

Well, certainly not on the non-adult sections. That's kind of absurd. And self-defeating, I would think.

i could imagine it would occur , any community stuff generally gets like that .<br />
. but it is definitely about doing sumin bout it wich is cool coz EP n U n peeps did jus that :) and said sumin bout it , rather than shyed away n let hidden abuse occur unnoticed .<br />
. wich happens *under* most peoples radars IRL often :|

Thank you Dodo.

amen to that! thanks for the warning dodo.. it does give us something to be concerned and think about. :)

Cheers to the DoDo. Thank you and EP for protecting our rights.

If I get pestered for sexchat by any eligible, well-hung and sexy men, I'll be sure to send them your way swagonwheels ;)

heya, birdie! you're absolutely correct! in the short time i've been on the site i've been approached 3 times. once with a pic of a flower on my profile, once with a blurred personal pic on my profile (which you couldn't make anything out of) and once now with the current pic (unblurred) ... seems it makes no difference what you have on your profile. it's truly sad and the very reason i left myspace. if i wanted to participate in such behavior i'd go to 'those' sites but i don't ... so LEAVE ME IN PEACE, YOU A$$H0LE$!

YEAH! go dodo!!<br />

As I was reading this I was thinking about how I have NOT been bothered on here, whereas almost any other site is a total troll-fest. That's sad that some are using this community as yet another meat market. I wish there were more men like you!

I completely agree with you! And, like wavystarz said, thanks for the alert! I didn't know that was going on... Now I'm almost scared...

Thanks for alerting us.. Not sure I will get bugged by any of them creeps, unless they're keen to find out what planet they will land on, lol. But will certainly keep an eye out, people taking advantage of others' vulnerabilities and approaching them uninvited in a disgusting way is apalling!

Totally agree with everything you said. I had no idea that kind of thing was going on