Coming Out And Getting Over Rejection

Only within the past couple of months have I started talking to a select group of close friends and family members about my being gay. I was in denial for years. Recently I found myself unavoidably attracted to another guy at work (who I regretfully found out was not into me) and I finally opened up to some people about this. One of my family members said I didn't strike her as the "gay type". I don't know why I let things like this bother me, but they do. I despise stereotypes, yet our culture seems to promote them. I am who I am and I know I'm gay: I'm attracted to men and ultimately, that is the common denominator to being gay, not how you act or what other interests you have, but what sex you are attracted to.

I sometimes doubt myself when I see the stereotype of gays. Unfortunately, even I seem to be buying into it when I'm trying to change being who I am to fit the stereotype more closely for fear people won't think I'm gay. This is stupid on my part I know, but this is what I'm struggling with right now.

Worse, the guy I was falling for doesn't feel the same for me and that has been tearing me up inside. I haven't had much experience in relationships and rejection is extremely difficult for me. The thing missing most in my life is an intimate relationship (not counting family). I want to have someone to share my love with and to share my life with. I'm so afraid that I may never find that. Thank you for taking the time to read about what I've been going through of late.
loveisthekey24 loveisthekey24
7 Responses Jul 31, 2010

Wow, So sad. Being gay is the best thing I could imagine and I have been so happy for so many years and enjoyed so very many people intimately after freeing myself from all the hetero hate and all the hetero mythology of only one person to love and horrendous hetero god stories and all their formulaic hetero romantic **** --which is really based on and totally to sugarcoat and to support two economic social concerns: paternity and property rights. Those are actually the basis for all of marriage and for most of the religious strictures and taboos that have been developed over thousands of years to support them. The male human wants to have lots of and naturally enjoys sex, lots of sex with lots of partners and really doesn't need too much of all the other garbage unless he's been brainwashed and made to feel inferior or bad or criminal or dirty or evil or whatever the haters and ignorant try to call us. All BS! Sex is great, ***** are fantastic and delicious and the more you do it without strings attached and the more guys you enjoy the greater life is! Don't use sex to try to control others or to "marry" them or to make them do what you want --No guilt trips or power plays!! Just enjoy sex for the hot, sensuous and great release and experience it is --especially with other men and their incredible *****! I have so many great and special friends and we are so sexy and intimate, sometimes several times in a single day and sometimes in groups of us all naked and sexing with each other, everybody trying to achieve ******* and give ******* to others. I love to enjoy several ***** all at once like bukkake (google it!) Wow, being in close, physical contact with men's bodies, serving and servicing each other, and being inside their bodies and having them inside me and sharing our really magical essence and juice is the most thrilling and hot and exciting and pleasurable times I have ever had, ever experienced and ever imagined. It is actually so fantastic that society, the church, women, all the "ruling" forces are afraid of just how consuming and thrilling it is! Way beyond anything they can offer to make you do what they want and better than any food, money, entertainment, anything! Give me a man and his **** and his juice or several and I am totally fulfilled (in the real way) and totally happy! And once you've been so intimate and had so much sex with guys you have a real special, incredible bond and can do all kinds of things together in the times between having sex if there is any! LOL

its funny, how you support and give your all in a relationship its like you in it by yourself. when money time come he wants to hug you make love to you, but when things are rocky like bills and etc, he doesnt want to touch you. and i learn he is in to younger boys, no i am not shemar moore, but i believe i am attractive, and i try to encourage myself to go on and just pray and stay faithful. maybe it will turn around if not, i am learning to move on with my destiny and purpose, i am a pastor, singer, songwriter, writing a book about being molested by my father, brothers, uncles, and cousins, beaten by my father mother and his sisters, and i have a son who loves me unconditional, so i am gratiful.

dont worry about stereotypes, every group has wishes!

Don't change the way you act and all that for people to be a more "believable" gay.. Just be you. You seem very nice and there's no need to purposely buy into the stereotypes that we spend every day trying to disprove. Be yourself! I guarantee someone is looking for the person you already are and you don't wanna miss that being someone else. I'm sorry the man you have feelings for doesn't have the same for you... I've dealt with it myself plenty of times, and I know it's painful.. but you're gonna be alright :)

Hey guys, thanks for your advice and your encouragement. It means a lot to me. - David

My friend - it is awesome that you have come to understand who you truly are and are beginning to accept that and share it with the select people in your life you feel you can trust. I understand 100% of what you're going through - as I've been through it as well. First a little advice, if you don't mind - To hell with stereotypes - the only person you need to be is you - 100% authentic you - stereotypes are b.s. - I struggled with that too. There was a time when I was first coming out that damn near everyone told me 'no, you're not gay, you cant be - you just think you are - you'll get over it'... unbelievable... I wasn't a fem or what they thought of when the word queer or *** popped into their head - so they were convinced i was just confused... P.S. (No I wasn't - LOL) .. Coming out is a process, not an event and it can take a really long time... find more support within the Gay community... Love is another matter. and we all suffer through rejection as we seek to find a friend, lover or bf. if you want to find someone be patient and know what you're looking for - try ... its a really good site to make new friends and connections.. Best wishes brother! - Tom

Yeah i get those feelings too. I know im the sterotype gay person & sometimes i try to act it. But why to give a damn of what they think. I know i wish i had a more intimate relationship. Sometimes it feels really lonely with no one to share anything with...