I Know I'm Gay. Everyone Else On The Other Hand...

Doesn't. And I try to tell myself other wise. Maybe thinking the more I say I'm not, then maybe one day I wont be. But I know that wont happen. No one knows. I haven't even told my best friend. Sometimes I'll get close to trying to talk to her, but I don't know how to start that conversation. I just want to find someone. Find a girl, that will actually accept me and love me and want to be with me. I was with a girl, secretly, for 8 months. We broke up about 3 months ago, and I'm still crazy about her. I don't know if I'm still holding on because she was my first girl relationship, or if I truly still love her and want to be with her. Back to the main reason of this story. I just want to be open about this. My family wont support me. I know they wont. They don't support anything of this nature. And that scares me. And my friend, I don't know how or if I should tell her. I need help figuring this out. Please?
hiskye09 hiskye09
18-21, F
6 Responses Aug 2, 2010

Thank you all for your input. It's all helped me a lot decided on what I should do. I can see what you mean by saying you feel like you are lying to that person by not coming out and saying what you want, and I some what feel that way. But at the same time I'm not sure. I mean, she and I have been best friends for almost 6 years. And just recently we have started fighting a lot, and we never did that before. So I almost feel like our friendship will end soon, and if it does I'm just afraid that she will be going around telling everyone my secret. And we live in a very small town, who are very against gays/bisexuals so that just makes it that much harder for me to make a decision. But thank you to all of you :)

Well the way i told my friend. I just told him i wanted to tell him something. Then i was like nvm i wont tell you anymore. He said no tell me. Thats when i knew he alreaady knew or guessed. So i just told him " I think i might be gay " then he is like. " is that what you didnt want to tell me that okay, i knew already" then we went for a long talk but thats another story xD<br />
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My point is that you know her and you can guess how is she going to act. I did it because i felt like i was lying to him. N i wanted to get it out of my chest. Just think about your options and you will find your answer. Good luck. and best wishes. :)

Well, I've always been under the impression that it might be perhaps easier for a girl to get by with saying that she is gay/bisexual. That was certainly the case at my high school.. very few guys seemed to come out of the closet though. Regardless, I can imagine your struggle here.. family values and that sort of thing are difficult to get past, and the same goes for friends that share the same values themselves<br />
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But as it's been said, and if it makes you feel any better, I've only told a few people about my feelings towards guys, and they've all taken it very well and have even encouraged me to come out since. They're good friends; two of them girls and one a guy. But still, there is a reason that I came out to them. While none of them are gay themselves, I had a gut feeling before I told them that helped make it possible for me to get it out.. <br />
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I dunno, I figure I can kind of predict the reaction from a lot of my friends based on what I know of them and from what they've said in the past. I mean, what do you think; is she true enough? Either way, I wish you the best of luck. :)

OneGuy and Scretg made very good points!<br />
When I came out to one of my friends, it took me about 3 hours just wasting time, and then when I said it my friend was just like "oh okay, i wasn't expecting that but I'm cool with it", so I basically wasted time talking about nonsense only to know that it didn't even phase my friend. <br />
And if for some odd reason she doesn't care about you enough to accept that, then maybe she's not the friend you thought she was, but keep in mind that sometimes people will be shocked, but don't confuse that with hate or dislike. Sometimes you just have to give them a little time to think about things.<br />
Well, best of luck!!

I've thought about that too. That if she's my real friend she wont leave. I'm just not sure how to start that conversation. Ya'know?! Thanks for the comment though!

Well i just told my bff. He took it well. He said he already knew... maybe she takes it the same way. In the worse scenario she stops talking to you. But she wont if she really is your friend. N if she does then she is not your real friend.