Happy Ending? I Think So :)

It's been a while since I last posted ( EP Link ), but for good reason.
A LOT has happened since then.

So Junior year was ending and I needed to study hard for the end of year exams so that I could ace them. A lot of effort went into school work and things between chris and me were okay. They weren't perfect, but they were really good. We started riding together on the bus, and talking a lot more. In a way, I felt like things couldn't get much better...

The year ends, and we're both going to the same summer program at our local university and we're in a research internship, but in different labs. That doesn't stop us from hanging out though. Everyday of the week (except on Thursdays), we eat lunch together with a group of friends -- that was near the start.
By the end of the program, we're eating lunch alone and playing Frisbee while chatting together. I even left seeing a cricket match with some of my friends during downtime to each lunch with Chris. Things were great at this point and we were wonderful friends. Again, I didn't think things could get any better.

After the summer internship, Chris leaves for California and I'm stuck taking a summer wellness course, so I don't see him or talk to him for 4 weeks, and so I'm feeling pretty bad at this point. One day, he get's on FB to say that he is back and we have a nice conversation. We both haven't talked to each other and we're excited using a bunch of exclamation marks!
I was going to bring up the point that we didn't get to hang-out outside of school programs, but before I can get to that, he says it first!
I was surprised, but delighted at that, and we talk about how we'll try to hang out soon, but unfortunately he had to go to bed, and so we say that we'll decide it later. At this point, I felt a little sad, because we've been saying we would hangout during the summer for the past 2 school years and we never did it, so i figure it would end up being the same this time. To my surprise, he calls me the next day and we just talk and talk, and we arrange to eat lunch together the day before school starts.
He tells me to drive over to his house from where we'll drive together to this Chinese Restaurant. We meed with our friend Cin (girl whose actual name is not used), and we share 2 large plates of lunch together and we have tons of fun talking about all sorts of stuff.
But, we did talk about a topic on being gay and whether this guy we know is or is not. Apparently, both Cin and Chris thought that he is not gay, I think he is, but I don't think i'm wiling to ask.

Well on this past Thursday, we went back to school and our we didn't have any classes together : (, but he tried to cheer me up by saying "it's okay we'll still have car rides to work and on the second semester we can hangout after school". It was great, he really made me feel great. We also had a conversation for hours after school and we just talked and talked.

On Friday, he called me and we had a really random conversation about nothing, it was completely absurd and had no significance whatsoever... I never imagined we would be able to get to that point where we could talk simply for the sake of talking and i felt soo good. I had said something about how he's bad with the ladies, xD, and then he reminded me that he had a girlfriend, and then I didn't say anything, but to my surprise, the conversation didn't get awkward. Later on, i said I was "monotone" joking around, and he's like you have "mono?" but he knew what i meant, basically, the entire conversation was pointless, hahaha, we ended up calling me "monotron", "pedotron" "gaytron", and some other "-tron" i can't remember, but it was pretty funny. It was surprising that he said that without sounding weak in his voice. It all felt so natural, we were talking and simply being, it was as if we had achieved the level of friendship which I thought we would never be able to reach. Right now i'm thinking, it couldn't possibly get any better, and if I'm right, i don't care because things are almost perfect between chris and me; 2 years ago, i could not have imagined that things would turn out this way. I'm just so excited that I felt that I had to write about it.

I also talked to Ice today, and i brought up the topic of chris and apparently, he hasn't talked to chris in 7 months, and isn't sure if he wants to be friends with him. I don't understand his feelings towards chris. He doesn't seem to hate him, but claims to be frustrated with the way chris behaved in the past. I for one, know that Chris has changed a lot in how he treats his friends and has learned a lot over time. It's just that Ice hasn't been able to see that because he is unable to talk to chris because he fears the risk of having to get frustrated at chris again.
I talked to ice because I wanted to see how likely it was that they would be friends again. Had I not talked to him, I don't think they would try to be friends again, but right now I feel that they have some potential, but it is not much. It would be great if they could make use of this chance and try to become friends, but it's very unlikely that things will get better between that, but both Chris and Ice seem to realize that, which makes it even harder for them to become friends like they were again. I tried and tried to help them get back together, but it doesn't seem like either really wants to put the effort into making things work, so I'm not sure what I should do about that and I'm wondering if the best thing would really just be to leave them alone and let them handle things how they will.
However, Ice did say that I always seem to talk to him about Chris at the right times, because he says he's always just about to give up until I talk to him about it. I don't understand.

The thing is that once college starts next year, whether Ice and Chris are friends won't really matter because we are all going off to different colleges and basically we are going to start all over again and make new friends and best friends. I'm going to try to remain best friends with chris through email and hopefully we can remain friends for life, but I think that once college starts i'll be able to move on and meet somebody that I can fall in love with and will be willing to catch me.

This is my senior year, and I'm just going to maintain my academics and enjoy it as much as possible with chris and my friends. I can only hope that the future has great things in store.
Thank you all for reading this ^_^ !

halfface halfface
18-21, M
3 Responses Aug 14, 2010

I am glad to hear things are better between you and Chris... I can understand Ice still being hesitant though to be friends with him.. there was a lot of drama there for a while... I am glad to hear you happy again and I know you're going to do great this year!

@ Thoughtsareapenny<br />
True a single intimate conversation with a guy friend doesn't make me gay and I am a man.<br />
Also, I want to make sure that you understand that "low testosterone levels" (if indeed, I do have that), would not make me gay, nor would high testosterone levels make a woman lesbian. It is not a chemical that determines sexual orientation. <br />
<br />
@scretg<br />
Thanks, though I'm sorry that things aren't going as well for you, but remember that there is plenty of time left and things will get better! <br />
Because of your comment, I will try to enjoy it even more and thus you have positively affected my life, thank you!! Can I add you as a friend?

@ Thoughtsareapenny : wtf! stupid ignorant. people responsible for AIDS are those who dont protect when having sex and those who have more than one sex partner without protection. So it COULD be that gay people are responsible but hetero are just as responsible if they dont use protection.<br />
And who are you to say he is ruining his life and others? just an useless stupid comment.<br />
<br />
@ halfface : i read your old stories & im glad that you feel like everything is going wonderful. It makes me happy that not all people are having a bad time as i am. If you guys are going different ways i guess you could tell him. N yes i recommend you to make the most of your senior year. It was an awesome year for me and i wish i had done alot more. I wish you the best. N dont listen to the stupid person that commented before i did.