When Being Gay Is Finally Not An Issue...

A few weeks ago, I realized something...

I was test driving a car and the dealership salesman was with me. We were making small talk and he made some reference to his wife getting a car. With a slight twinge of fear I still get, but always push through, I mentioned my boyfriend being excited about me looking for a new car. My boyfriend needed a new car too and I didn't want him to steal my thunder. The salesman carried on the conversation and made a joke about us one-upping one another. I laughed and realized, "This is what it's like when being gay is a non-issue."

Then...I got a little scared.

Being gay will be a non-issue. It's inevitable whether next year or 30 years from now, people will talk about their significant others and no one will bat an eyelash at the gender.

What scared me was, when that happens...what will make me special?

I like being gay. A small part of me likes telling people that I'm gay and seeing surprised reactions. I like being the one to educate my straight friends and coworkers about gay slang and gay bars. I like being the special one.

But when being gay isn't a big deal, then what? I'm just another middle-class white male in America. Nothing as special as, "yeah, AND I like dudes!" because it'll be as special as, "yeah, AND I have brown hair!" I won't have my gay crutch to lean on... How will I be interesting? I'll have to compete to be significant among all of the other middle-class white males out in the world.

I am looking forward to a time when I don't have that twinge of fear from outing myself in some way. It will be a fantastic point for humanity. I'm just worried how I'll survive dinner parties and social events without my fairiness to fall back on.
sparkyradar sparkyradar
22-25, M
1 Response May 14, 2012

Well to be honest, you're special because you're just you not because you're gay. I personally don't like the majority of other homosexual people I meet (not purposefully either.). I will say that I do suffer that twinge of fright when talking about my boyfriend. I don't understand why.