Falling More And More In Love With A Straight FriendI know that we will never be more than friends, so i'm not trying to turn him gay or anything. But i can't stop thinking about him. Everytime i hear his name, or my phone rings and i hope its him. Just not being with him hurts. I can now say that i am obsessed with him. But i don't want to be.
I'm trying to stay away from him as much as possible, doing random **** just so i quit thinking about him. Hell i even learned how to play a song on the guitar. But then i get a text message and its him. Now my hearts racing and i'm gone from there....
If i keep this up i'm gonna get heart broken HARD. I know where this road is leading and its not where i want to go. I want it the way like it was before.
What hurts me the most is what i did to him... On a drunken night, we passed out together. I ended up cuddling with him, touching his chest and almost down to his you know what. He found out but didn't tell me until recently. Now i feel so ashamed of myself. Im such a sad and digusting person. I apologized to him on many levels of pain. I was so surprised when he laughed it off. "yea we had alot to drink that night". Then he walks over to me gives me a one hander hug, smiles and says "we'll always be boys". I almost died. I don't deserve such good friends.
So my problem is i need to get over him and still remain friends.
lorsive 22-25, M 6 Responses 0 Jul 11, 2012