Falling More And More In Love With A Straight Friend

I know that we will never be more than friends, so i'm not trying to turn him gay or anything. But i can't stop thinking about him. Everytime i hear his name, or my phone rings and i hope its him. Just not being with him hurts. I can now say that i am obsessed with him. But i don't want to be.

I'm trying to stay away from him as much as possible, doing random **** just so i quit thinking about him. Hell i even learned how to play a song on the guitar. But then i get a text message and its him. Now my hearts racing and i'm gone from there....

If i keep this up i'm gonna get heart broken HARD. I know where this road is leading and its not where i want to go. I want it the way like it was before.

What hurts me the most is what i did to him... On a drunken night, we passed out together. I ended up cuddling with him, touching his chest and almost down to his you know what. He found out but didn't tell me until recently. Now i feel so ashamed of myself. Im such a sad and digusting person. I apologized to him on many levels of pain. I was so surprised when he laughed it off. "yea we had alot to drink that night". Then he walks over to me gives me a one hander hug, smiles and says "we'll always be boys". I almost died. I don't deserve such good friends.

So my problem is i need to get over him and still remain friends.
lorsive lorsive
22-25, M
5 Responses Jul 11, 2012

I really like you're writing! I have read several of your stories this evening...

I think he could be gay, not saying he is....since he is your friend tell him about that issue so he will know about it and try to help you through that as well..

thanks, were back to normal again... he knows that i like him but he didn't care lol

good news :) I finally opened up about what was my problem to my best mate about me and I told everything he doesn't mind as well, and I also told him that I like him also so yeah he said is flattered not ''bothered'' and still he remains normal despite of what he heard from me lol....but I know that we're just friends, I just liked him that's all not in your case which is being in love :D

lol i'm happy for you congrats! yea me and him are just good friends now, hey i tried to add you but i couldn't...can u add me? btw what is your nationality?

i'm hmong, were a small group of people from south east asia but i live in the states. well my email is lorsive@aol.com u can just email me thanks, can't have enough friends lol

lol me either

2 More Responses

Yea but its soo hard to stay away from him. I don't have much friends so everyone pretty much hangs with eachother. I live in a small city so finding so one is pretty hard and i'm way too picky.

Well I've never fallen for my best friend and its probably because my two best friends are girls lol.... but I do love my best friends brother, and I feel so bad about it, and when I go over to her house I always hope I get to see him at least for a minute.... but even though I love him I've decided to try to give up on my feelings because I wouldn't like to loose my best friend if she finds out I like her brother..... like luckyboy20 said just stay away from him meet some new people make new friends it does help

i have been there ... i fall in love with my friend who consider me his big bro( i m just 2 years older) but he appreciates me a lot and care 2 much about me he even fight with a guy cause the guy insulted me .. i am his best friend ,, but i fall in love with him .. cause you can't just ignore someone loves you that much but he love me as friend ... and i told him how i felt about him and that hurt him but he still stayed my friend and then i touched him even grabbed his **** but he still love me and want to be my friend ... and that moment i decided to be away from him for sometime cause if i am around him i will do things that hurts him and me ... now we are still friends ... so dude you should try to spend sometime apart from your friend and try to find someone else, it helps ... that actually helped me.