I'm a Closet Case

I agree with Mercy88. I fight sins too...sins that almost seem as if I were born with them embedded in me. Often I fail to fight them off. But everybody has a CHOICE. If you choose to be gay, then that's your decision. But I also wish you would consider choosing NOT to be gay.

That's my opinion...I'm no scientist and I don't know all the arguments for and against the idea of homosexuality being something people are born with. I've realized lately that I've always believed the way I've been taught without considering other people's views, and I want to change that at least to some degree...so please don't be offended...I'm just saying what I think, and I like hearing what other people think as well.

A lot of religious people will deny that and claim that it's a choice. Wrong. Science has proved that it's genetic since they found seals in the Antarctic that were gay.

Look people this guy has issues that don't need to be complicated by shame-based comments (religion). Look dude, feelings aren't right or wrong, they just are. No doubt it took some courage to post your story. Good job for reaching out. It sounds scary where you are, so stay safe & take care of yourself. Keep reaching out and be true to yourself. Know that you are not alone. Hopefully things will get better on your journey through life.......

Wow, I don't know anyone who is gay so I have no idea what gay people have to suffer through. My heart breaks for you.

People like mercy88 and co. should be slapped. I'm sorry you have to hear their comments. Unfortunately, we are always going to have ignorant homophobes in every part of the world... There is nothing sinful about love and sex. They are natural and beautiful and i don't care what any damn christian says, there are people who are born gay. And there's nothing wrong with it! You should not have to fight against anything... It makes me so angry that people even think that way, let alone express it to you in a 'supportive' environment such as this.
People like that make me sick.

By the way QueenofDreamers, depite your feeble attempt at asking 'please don't be offended' there is nothing unoffensive about your comment. this is a site for support and you come in here telling Saigo that who he is, is wrong and sinful and that he has a choice?!
how dare you...

I say hide no more. It's not good for your emotional state. I have a gay son and believe me, as a parent I knew he was gay even before he came out. I have accepted his life style 100%. I know it will be hard, but you will be better off knowing where you stand with others than hiding out in fear. Yes there will be people who will bash you and make your life hard,but it is better to be true to yourself. If you live in fear then they have defeated you. Stand up for yourself and admit who you are no matter the consequences. I wish you love and support young man.

DUDE WHAT IS THE VERDICT? FIRST AND FORMOST YOU ARE YOU ,LOVE YOU. HOW DO YOU EXPECT PEOPLE TO ACCEPT YOU IF YOU DO NOT ACCEPT YOURSELF. THERE IS ONLY ONE CREATOR AND HE WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU.. YOUR BIGGEST FEAR IS WHAT WILL EVERYBODY SAY ?, WHAT WILL THEY DO ?, HOW WILL THEY ACT? NOBODY CAN JUDGE ANYBODY. THE GUY UPSTAIRS DETERMINES WHERE WE WILL SPEND ETERNAL LIFE. I BELEIVE IN GOD THE FATHER, GOD THE SON AND GOD THE HOLY GHOST AND I GET THROUGH IT ALL BY FAITH. TRUST ME YOU WILL BE FINE. YOU WERE PUT HERE FOR A REASON, DO NOT LET ANYONE DISCOURAGE YOU. YOU ARE UNIQUE..........

I don't know if you'd like anything I would have to say on the subject. People rarely do. ;)

(I live in America so I can't relate to the whole "kill you" thing.) But I'm 19 and homosexuality is something that I dealt with a LOT. I'm not claiming to have all the answers, I don't even have a ton of them. But my personal experience has been that homosexuality is not a defining trait of who you are like gender, ethnic background or anything like that. People like to label it as an "orientation" which is just crazy. I used to hide behind the label fat. I was morbidly obese and I thought that was "who I was" if just because my whole family was that way. It was in the genes, and I was stuck. That is the SAME labeling people apply when someone thinks that being gay is who they are. Once I realized the truth behind these things (that they are NOT who you are) change has been possible on both fronts. (I've lost a 175 bls and now I'm pretty healthy.) I'm just using weight as an illustration. It's easy to look at yourself and think "I was born this way there is nothing I can do" but if you ask yourself that question it usually means that, even though things feel good (like eating poorly or looking at gay ****) you see other people who are in a better place (or are "normal") and envy them. Homosexuality is a behavior (like drugs or ***********) it is NOT a person. I remember how confusing everything was and how much time I spent feeding all the anxious thoughts in my head. Life's just not supposed to be that way. I totally agree with mercy88 because I've LIVED that. :) You're not gay, you're a human being! :D Dearly loved by God no matter what you think you are or what you do. But there is a lot of happiness to be found in freedom. (I would NOT write about this if I didn't seriously know it to be true. I always hated people who didn't understand telling me what to do.) I don't know you or who you are but I know what it is like and I would strongly encourage you to SEEK the answers for yourself. It's hard to suggest a lot of resources because I found so many to be harmful over long periods of time. But I think a safe place to start would be www.livehope.org . It's a good place to hear from other people who share some same experiences. :)

on the science side of this long email post -_- -- - - I'd love to see some references to such ridiculous claims. I think our society has a very harmful view of this. If you google search it you'll find scientific "evidence" on both fronts.



I found a study done in the 70s about the hypothalumus of the human brain being smaller in homosexual men.. well that fell through because the men used in the study all died of HIV -_-.



THEN I found a christian study saying that the average lifespan of a homosexual male is 35 (I think it is in the 40s but there is no way to really know) but you don't KNOW that that is true.



We live in a day and age where people can say whatever they want and have REAL statistics and REAL evidence to back it up. It is all in how you present something that determines what it is evidence for. "Science" has both social and political biases on all fronts. On this topic though I would REALLY encourage you to do some looking instead of just believing what so and so got from such and such (even with me). Or just from people saying things like "science proves this or science proves that". You can use science to prove whatever you like to a certain extent. I'll try to do the same.



The truth is you can argue either side quite well if you know how (for instance I love to debate macro evolution because I find it to be filled with more falsehood than even the church of the spagetti monster.)



You need to get some books though because the web is pretty empty of anything REAL in terms of "evidence".



However I would recommend the following:



http://americansfortruth.com/news/stephen-bennett-rebuts-alan-chambers-sorry-exodus-homosexuals-can-completely-change.html



http://www.citizenlink.org/FOSI/homosexuality/A000001542.cfm





http://books.google.com/books?id=9glOXO60Ij0C&pg=PA133&lpg=PA133&dq=exodus+scientific+evidence+on+homosexuality&source=bl&ots=AWLL24fKuq&sig=F__ZzULvsXmxrsy2vM9Y8Zio8o0&hl=en&ei=y0i-ScqHFoS2nQeDzJGnBg&sa=X&oi=book_result&resnum=10&ct=result#PPA136,M1







http://www.conservapedia.com/Homosexuality





I post this for you but also the other people who are talking it up on here. People need to look into things themselves instead of just believing what they hear. (that is dangerous).



I'll be keeping you in my prayers.



(From everything you might read... whatever you do, if you decide to go looking into this, do NOT stay long term in an "ex-gay" group -_- that just isn't healthy. It's a good place to visit to get insight and ideas... but don't stay there forever.)

Women who don't have experience in this issue drive me CRAZY!! (always have) -_-

In regards to "animals and science" I've found a lot of helpful info

some of it is

http://www.news.com.au/heraldsun/story/0,21985,20571062-5005961,00.html - Oslo museum

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Non-Human_Animal_Sexuality#Sheep - sheep, brain study, 8 %

http://mygenes.co.nz/rams.htm - sheep, 10%, flawed study

http://scottthong.wordpress.com/2007/10/02/roy-silo-why-gay-penguins-are-not-a-good-example-for-homosexuality/ - Roy and Silo book

http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2004/02/07/MNG3N4RAV41.DTL - Roy and Silo

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Naturalistic_fallacy - naturalistic fallacy

but if that doesn't have enough I'll post an article on my own page later.