I'm a Closet Case

BettyValentine as someone who has dealt with homosexuality I need to inquire,

how dare you say what someone can and cannot change? What is good and healthy is debatable- and people have the right to make their own choices for or against it. Whether they chose to be "gay" or not. Or whether they decide it is right or wrong. We all have our own moral compass (most of us anyways). I find your opinion even more obnoxious than the "repent and change" posts!

Even though they are usually very ignorant they at least leave the option to choice. You cripple people with your sheer opinion and lack of insight. mercy88 and queenofdreamers offered their insight with the disclaimer of lack of experience... you seem pretty sure of yourself, yet your words feel hallow.

There is nothing wrong with contrasting ethics. It is the only thing that works effectively against immorality. If you cannot even hear the thought that something you're doing is wrong, then it usually is. If we cannot be bold in talking about what is right or wrong how can we ever define it?! How can we take a stand at injustice if we aren't open to new ideas?

Your stereotypical, politically correct, closed-minded, and (frankly) blind view of life is the closest thing to intolerable and offensive that I've read on here. It not only harms the individual but completely introverts him or her to themselves without seeing the effects on others. (What a selfish way to live!)

To say whether or not someone SHOULD partake in homosexuality is OPINION but to say whether or not that a person can CHOSE to not partake is crippling and ignorant to a point of frustration. It victimizes someone to a life of fear, secrecy and restraint, all the while proclaiming a righteousness that is false!

If there is fear in exposing, if there is shame in "being", if there is lament in settling, if there is a desire for "normalicy" then why should anyone be "forced" to embrace it?! Everyone has a choice to make whether they chose one lifestyle or another; but change is possible, I've lived it.

hey there....welll im sorry to hear tht you cant be yourself around the people you know...i seriously wish that people would just be able to accept tht all people are not the same... that maybe some people are different and thats not a bad thing...
i was also wondering if there is a place whereyou can go to be yourself..go for it...
well you know if you need a friend im here you know just add me and you can count on me to listen and be there through this website for you...=]

This is why I love EP! It totally encourages people to be who they truly are and not to be afraid of that. If more of us lived the truths we live online, the world would be a better place.

I'm not gay, I am a bi-sexual. I know that's not what you are discussing. But I have to live a secret life so people don't find out what I am or who I am. I have had so many bad experiences with women that I now prefer sex with men also. I had years of experiences with all kinds of women. This I know from experience that you don't get something for nothing. A sex affair with women is demanding. So having other men is a whole lot easier for me to deal with. I know from experience.

your story is so sad, i live in fear of being ostersized, you live in fear of death. i can almost understand people's fear of something different; but not hate and hostility. say for the minute that homosexuality is sin, my God teches "hate the sin, not the sinner". i am not calling you a sinner! you are more corageous than you might think, at your young age you have come to grips with your sexuality and it would seem accepted it. i should have known i was gay at about that same age, maybe i did; but i did not accept aknowledge it untill i was 50yo.
peace love and a big hug to you

It's horrible that there are places in the world like that...
I say you should start saving money right now. Everything you get you should put away. Then, once you have enough, go, and don't look back. It'll be hard to live in a new place, but it's got to be better than being scared for your life.
But I'm not an expert on this by any means, so take my advice with a grain of salt.

I know it is very difficult to accept that your gay,once you accept who and what you are,then you should live your life as you,not pretending to be straight so as not be be different from others.I know its more difficult for someone that is gay in some countries,and it has to be hidden,as for your parents tell them,you are their son and they should(after time)accept you for who and what you are,and love you still the same.It dont always happen like this.Comeing out should be the best thing for you to do,you will perhaps loose friends,if they are your true friends they should accept it.
I wish you good luck now are for the future

If it's dangerous for you to be there then as mentioned; you need to move. If you fake being straight your girlfriend or future wife could figure it out and out you and then you'll be in danger. Living in the closet is no fun. People tend to regret it later; not all; but many closet case people who pick the hetero lifestyle make lousy emotionally distant husbands and look back on their life with regret. The best thing to do is get out of there as fast as possible. Wherever you are your English is very good, so I'd advise a trade, such as massage school or plumbing and then you'll have good solid work to do in a city while getting higher education. You'll end up feeling very liberated when you can tell people you are gay freely, and you can put everything else behind you.

My experience with those cultures where homosexuality is shunned is that it's fine as long as you live in the closet and never be happy. Everyone is just fine knowing as long as you never actually get to have a life. Marriage is certainly going to be forced eventually and the poor girl will feel shamed to have been selected for it too. It sucks.

When there is a will there is a way. Moving sounds like a good option.

Why do you say you're ugly? - Don't put yourself down! Enough others will do it for you. Don't help them out!

Terrios:

You claim to have dealt "firsthand" with homosexuality, but you have made clear throughout your three posts that you have absolutely NO grasp on it, whatsoever.

First of all, you clearly aren't a homosexual, so how can you even possibly assume that homosexuality is a choice? If you HAVE dealt firsthand with homosexuality as you claim, then you would know that many homosexuals, such as myself, have been this way as long as they can remember and did not ASK nor CHOOSE to feel sexually attracted to men.

You then analogize sexuality with WEIGHT which is just utterly and astoundingly moronic. Weight is something you can change, just lift a couple weights and boom, you're done. Unfortunately, very much contrary to your beliefs, homosexuality is not, was never, and will never be a choice. Homosexuality isn't something you can get rid of with some bullshit "therapy," it's not a ******* disorder that you can go to some support group to cure, it's a preexisting condition that DEFINES who somebody is, yes, and cannot be changed. By telling somebody that they can just willingly "change it" is just encouraging them to go deeper into a closet and live an unhappy, unfulfilled life. And I find it quite ironic how you mention that "there is a lot of happiness in freedom" and yet you are clearly preventing him from finding it.

Also, you accuse BV of being "close-minded" and having a "blind view of life" which is just so deliciously ironic, because 5 of the links you posted are openly biased against homosexuality. Your "scientific evidence" against homosexuality are, funnily enough, on websites run by a bunch of close-minded, pseudo-"scientific" neocons, and yet you mention in the previous paragraph how science has "social and political biases." The truth is, science doesn't have any political or social bias, rather, one's political and social views are the offshoot. For example, evolutionists, who live by science, are more likely to be liberal. YOU believe it's biased because most things science has proven goes against what you believe in.

How about this: if you really want an INFORMED view on homosexuality, try looking at both sides instead of listening all the time to your bullshit neocon media, because quite clearly you have never heard a homosexual's side of the story.