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2 Responses Nov 28, 2012

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I have been out of the closet for just over 16 years, but it surely was not an easy haul. Coming out comes with acceptance as there are many reasons why some stay in that closet longer then others. Below are a couple of reasons why people like us either do not come out or they stay in longer;

1. Not 100% sure or confused. Idealy, there was a time when we all developed these gay tendencies, which ultimately confused us. Were we born with these feelings and they were triggered by some event in our lives? Maybe. Did these tendencies change and occur over time? Maybe. The point is that that for so long people tried to brand the idea that being gay is wrong, and it took time for us to figure out that not running from our feelings was totally right. Once we accepted that and we accepted the fact that we were in fact gay, the confusion turned into reality = acceptance with our innerselves.

2. Fear. What would those in the outside world think of us when we ultimately came out of the closet. I accepted my own feelings some 16 years ago and was willing to let-it-be-known, but I had minimal help in doing this. Over the years, the gay revolution turned into a real life community which ultimately makes it easier for those coming out in recent years. Fear is less widespread, but still evident. There will always be those individuals who "fear" us, and those individuals are the ones that try and suppress us - which brings fear of our own.

Being gay is a lifestyle, it's not about different decisions, activities, and or jobs. This is one of the misconceptions that "straight" people have with us as they feel that we should be etirely different since we have different lifestyles. Gay people can play football, swim, or ride horses the same as "straight" people. I for one love to play basketbal and I have seen this same misconception just about every time I step onto the court.

I am happy for you that you have been able to come out, and deffinitely understand that there is an entire community out there that accepts you and embraces you. Be strong, be confident, and be true to yourself....without being true, you will never be happy.