I Am Gay And Alone.

I am 16 years old and I am gay. I still study in the high school. The person of my age might complaint for being bullied, but not me. I am strong and stout guy. I will never let anyone offend me, but if someone do, my whist will kiss his face. I am not very talkative, mostly i express my mind in writing. Now I've found exciting way to express and share my thoughts.

The society I live in is very strict, 'cuz i live in middle east. The idea of being gay is absolutely unacceptable here. To be honest i don't really think that there is any other gay here. I can't tell any one about my sexuality.'cuz ...... it is Asia. and Islam funs will just kill me. But the it is not a problem for me, despite the fact i am gay, I'm not feminine I'm manly and muscular in comparison with my contemporaries. And the hiding my face is very easy for me. I am anyone, but not myself.

I am playing a role of perfect person, cuz' my parent expect it from me. I don't drink don't smoke, i am quite good at studying, i regularly work out. BUT i am alone. I DON'T HAVE A FRIEND. I don't hang out with my male mates, i don't find it interesting. And certainly not with girls. I pretend to be OK and smile, just to create the sign of happiness. BUT i am always depressed. and only studying and sport help me to keep afloat.

I just need somebody to love and be loved by. I just need someone to talk and support.
thegaymask thegaymask
22-25, M
14 Responses Dec 23, 2012

I am 50 years old, I have experimented the same feelings than you, why do not go to visit a therapist, He/she could help. You are not alone, 10% of population is gay. I do not know the kind of city you live, small, medium or large. In large cities there are gay centres to help people with similar problems, search in the web a gay center near your home.

hi there i'm gay Muslim too who live in middle east , i have passed through this before , i know the feeling . just no matter what happened don't give up now keep up the good work . don't avoid people it will get worse . just act like normal person . add me i can help u up

well i can totally understand ur point...in Asia till now homosexuality is not been accepted totally...people still think it gross...and bully people who come out

Stay strong and I hope you can get out of there.

Europe is not so far... although it might be a lot further than distance.

Assalam alaika ya arab

People need to be a bit more forgiving and open minded in general. We get so stuck on convention to a point where we are not ready to accept someone or something that is different, That has to stop, there is a whole universe out there. You can't tell me that having a different operating system or firmware is bad. Because, we are who we are and should stick to what we feel. Without acknowledging our essence we are lifeless, but yet sexuality must not define us.

This is not a feeling that is limited to the middle east. The same thing happens here in the southern states.

Stick with what is important, I know your lonely and I feel that pain. I am in trade school myself as an adult. I am in the same boat. Eventually things will settle down and cool off. Your just starting your life. And for the record I am not a "loud/noisy" gay myself, I keep a low profile as I always have for similar reasons. Christianity and my family hit the mute button, I am not judging though, I just am aware of what's out there like you. A real God and friends will accept you no matter what. Find those people that will accept you for you because they love and care about you, those are your true allies in the struggle of life we call the human condition.

I was there once in the state of Texas, USA. I hear where you are coming from man. Your so young and have so much potential ahead of you. Just know that there are people out there that care about you no matter where you are, or from. There are others out there, for now put it in with the books. You seem very intelligent, keep at it! Eventually you will have that well paying job, and man to love you.

You Can Add Me If You Would Like TO .

I Think You And I Could Really Have Lots To Talk About :)

YOURE NOT ALONE DUDE! im from mid east too and same as you, felt the same way, cannot express my feelings here. add me up!

I'm a 22 years old gay guy from the middle east, reading this reminds me of my own stories, I can relate to you in every single line you wrote, you're not alone, I got you.
Add me whenever you can.

You can message me if you'd like someone to talk to.

Unfortunately i can't add you, 'cuz the site tells me that your profile may contain mature or objectionable content. BUT I would like to.

Same Add me PLz

hi, I am almost 14.. (maybe too young)
but I just wanted to say that I really liked your story.. ( and maybe do you want to talk)