Oh The Irony...

Have you ever seen on cartoons and TV shows the typical unlucky character that always happens the most weird, unlucky, stuff?

Well that's me.

My whole life has been full of coincidences and casualties, but almost all of them are bad situations.

I'm almost 17 and I have accepted myself as homosexual. I have only told 3 friends and they all reacted as I wanted, but one of them didn't exactly do what I wanted...

One of those friends became really close I me recently and we could say we are best friends. But he suddenly started to act weird; he used to be more close, more sensitive to me and even did things that if anyone saw they would suspect he is gay (touching me sexually in somewhat manner of joke).
I must remark that before this I had started to have feelings towards him, I started to discover and realize I was falling in love with him.

This feeling grew bigger and bigger in a short time. I suddenly came into conclution I was in love with him. I had never felt something similar towards anyone.

So the moment came...
We went to his house after school and just laid on bed to watch movies. I had SO MANY reasons to suspect that he felt the same way as I did, so to motivate him to tell me, I told him for the first time in my life to anyone:
"Hey, You're my best friend, I trust you so much I know I can tell you: I'm gay"

His reaction was a simple "Oh... Ok, that's good"
He didn't say anything else and I was scared to ask him if he was too.

The rest of the days were the same as before: he trying to attract me and telling me things.
"WHAT THE HELL DO YOU WANT?! MAKE YOUR MIND UP!!!" I used to tell him in my mind as I just stayed there with him beckoning me "ARE YOU GAY OR STRAIGHT?!"

The next days after I confessed were really depresing. I never felt so embarrassed and disappointed.

Now I'm here, sick of this nonsense, thinking what I will do on this issue.

I guess I'll just have to tell him what I think "If you do such things in order to tell me you are gay, you're doing a terrible job. But if you do not like men, then stop it and act like a real straight man!!!"

I want this over but I want him always to he my best friend.

Lets find out what happens...
arocerec arocerec
22-25, M
2 Responses Jan 5, 2013

Hey man. I had the same EXACT thing happen to me, so I know how you feel. It's the worst feeling in the world. My best friend was always super sweet to me and always casually said "I love you" and things like that, so naturally I believed he was actually in love with me. Then I realized I was in love with him, and it was the greatest feeling ever, because I'd never felt that way about anyone before. So one day I finally told him, expecting us to be together after that, but I more or less got the same response you did. It turned out my friend isn't gay after all, he's just super friendly, and it totally gutted me. But the thing that got me through it all was his friendship, and now we're better friends than we ever were before. (I'm still in love with him of course, but oh well haha)

So obviously you have to find out, otherwise it's just going to torture you. But however you do it or whatever you decide, just make sure he knows that you really treasure his friendship and you'd never want to ruin that. If he is gay, awesome. If he's not, but he truly is your best friend, then he'll understand and still be supportive of you and you guys will still be close. It might be difficult for him if he hasn't accepted that he's gay yet like you have, or maybe he doesn't know, or maybe he isn't and he's like my friend- just super nice/flirty. So it's a tough spot for him too. Maybe just bring it up casually (when you guys are alone of course so he doesn't feel pressured to react a certain way) and keep in mind that he might be open to it, but maybe not as open to it as you are. Just make sure he knows that whatever is said, you don't want it to have a bad effect on your friendship.

Cheers! If you ever want to talk about this stuff, just let me know.

Dude, seriously thanks. I'll keep that in mind. Next week we are meeting so I'll talk to him. I'm impressed I'm not nervous at all, but I think it's because I know he is my friend and whatever the result is, he will understand and will never leave our friendship behind.

Why don't you try the same approach? Instead one asking him just hug him or something. Now that he knows you are gay, he would probably push you away or let you know he is not into that sort of things if he wasn't enjoying it. Good luck!