I'm Gay And I'm Falling In Love With My Best Friend.

This is probably going to be the millionth story like this on here but god dammit I want to share my story anyway.

Ever since the first day I met him I liked him. He's funny, nice, weird, a really great guy He's really fun to be around. I can't explain why I like him. All I can say is that when I'm around him, he just makes me really happy.

He also knows about my crush on him, and he's really cool with it. He'd watch gay **** with me or initiate lots of physical contact like wrestling or tickling me without me ever really doing anything. You could say its like a gay guys dream. For their straight guy crush to not mind at all and not feel awkward to be this touchy/feely around a gay guy who has feelings for them. But still after all... he is straight. We've talked about it, hell, I've even cried on his shoulder about it. But yeah... he is straight. Anyways thats not the problem of this story. I've already told him I really like him and he took it really well.

Heres the problem.

Everything was just fine until last month....

A while ago I introduced this guy to my best friend, a girl. And we hung out every single weekend. They would both come over to my place and we would watch movies together, hang out and sleepover. Sounds good right? Me, my crush and my best friend all hanging out together every weekend, having a great time.

It doesn't turn out so well actually... The guy starts developing feelings for the girl, and same with the girl to the guy. I was scared as hell, I didn't want them to go out. It would make me really upset for obvious reasons. They both knew about my feelings for the guy. But eventually they did go out... Ever since then I've always been feeling kind of depressed. That theres some kind of empty void in me that no one could fill besides him. I have been single and lonely my entire life and the only person who doesn't make me feel so is him. And seeing him going out with my best friend kills me inside. I've cried so much because of it.

It just hurts me so much I don't know why, and why should it? I mean he is straight after all. I mean right? All I know is this guy makes me happy, happier than I've ever been before in my life. And to see him going out with a girl, not just any girl my best friend. It kills me inside. I think about this guy everyday. I smile whenever he texts or calls me. I get really excited when I know he's coming over. And when I make him laugh or smile, I feel like a million bucks.

And its getting even worst too... Ever since they started going out. My feelings for this guy have actually started growing stronger. It's at a point where I could even say I love him. But he's like an older brother to me. I don't want to mess this up. Our friendship was almost ruined once because I liked him. And now whenever we hang out the three us... It's not fun anymore... I actually feel uncomfortable sitting in the same room as them two now. Those fun weekends of watching movies and hanging out are gone now.

I consider the guy I have a crush on to be my best friend. But I'm scared that I'm losing him. Before they started going out, I used to talk to him every single day on skype for hours and hours. We would watch the same shows on Netflix together and stay up all night together just talking about random things.

We dont have skype conversations anymore... we don't watch shows together anymore. We used to have great conversations together, but now when I try to talk to him... he doesn't really reply as well anymore, or as often. Sometimes he doesn't even reply at all to my messages. Things feel different between us... I feel like I've lost my best friend ever since he started going out with her. I'm not being paranoid or imagining things either. Things have been different between us. Looking at conversations before and after they started dating. You can see the difference. Sometimes I would go reread our old conversations and it just makes me want to cry, to see how much our friendship has downgraded.

I like this kid so much. I think about him all the time and I care the world for him. I'm just really scared of losing him...

I miss us... I miss the old us... I just want us to talk again.. like the way we used too. Back to when you sounded like you actually wanted to talk to me... Back when everything was fine in my life.

Thank you for reading my story if you did. Feel free to leave any feedback comments or advice whatever. I'll read them. Enjoy the rest of your day.
zantraxer zantraxer
18-21, M
12 Responses Jan 9, 2013

Wow, So sad. Being gay is the best thing I could imagine and I have been so happy for so many years and enjoyed so very many people intimately after freeing myself from all the hetero hate and all the hetero mythology of only one person to love and horrendous hetero god stories and all their formulaic hetero romantic **** --which is really based on and totally to sugarcoat and to support two economic social concerns: paternity and property rights. Those are actually the basis for all of marriage and for most of the religious strictures and taboos that have been developed over thousands of years to support them. The male human wants to have lots of and naturally enjoys sex, lots of sex with lots of partners and really doesn't need too much of all the other garbage unless he's been brainwashed and made to feel inferior or bad or criminal or dirty or evil or whatever the haters and ignorant try to call us. All BS! Sex is great, ***** are fantastic and delicious and the more you do it without strings attached and the more guys you enjoy the greater life is! Don't use sex to try to control others or to "marry" them or to make them do what you want --No guilt trips or power plays!! Just enjoy sex for the hot, sensuous and great release and experience it is --especially with other men and their incredible *****! I have so many great and special friends and we are so sexy and intimate, sometimes several times in a single day and sometimes in groups of us all naked and sexing with each other, everybody trying to achieve ******* and give ******* to others. I love to enjoy several ***** all at once like bukkake (google it!) Wow, being in close, physical contact with men's bodies, serving and servicing each other, and being inside their bodies and having them inside me and sharing our really magical essence and juice is the most thrilling and hot and exciting and pleasurable times I have ever had, ever experienced and ever imagined. It is actually so fantastic that society, the church, women, all the "ruling" forces are afraid of just how consuming and thrilling it is! Way beyond anything they can offer to make you do what they want and better than any food, money, entertainment, anything! Give me a man and his **** and his juice or several and I am totally fulfilled (in the real way) and totally happy! And once you've been so intimate and had so much sex with guys you have a real special, incredible bond and can do all kinds of things together in the times between having sex if there is any! LOL

I would recommend telling him this. If he is a real friend to you he will probably feel bad and try to make efforts to talk to you. He may still go out with the girl. But you can't may him love you. After a while you will get over him. Try to come up with another crush. Even if it's not a big crush, you can use it to get over him (still being his friend) and find your true love.

Make* not may

I have a story too, see I met this guy named Logan he's cute funny and we both have feelings for each other but one problem we both have girlfriends. I'm so confused now with my feelings and want to scream on the top of my lungs. I have always been told to follow my heart but how can I if they are going in two separate directions? Which path do I take? I like him more than my girlfriend but we have been dating for over a year and would kill me if I broke up with her. What do I do?

Talk to your girlfriend. If she wants what's happiest for you, she will break up with you. If she doesn't and starts to yell or something you know she will not be the one so u can then break up with her too. Also talk with Logan.

To anyone who still cares, I am completely over this. I look back at this and I think to myself; "Wow, I actually liked this guy?" But I got to hand it to them. If it weren't for these two people. The chain of events that would follow wouldn't have occurred that would lead me to wear I am fortunately am today. I can think of no alternative

I'm pleased you updated this story & found a level of happiness after that time in your life.
Always try & look for a positive spin in any situations you find yourself in.
Best of luck for the future. :)

Haha thanks friend (: best of wishes to you

It'll balance out eventually. If he's developing feelings for her, then there are chemicals there messing with his mind, resting his priorities. It happens all the time to people. But like I said, it should balance out, and your friend doesn't sound like a bad person.

I'm going through the exact same thing, you're not alone. & from my personal experience, all I can tell you, is that if he TRULY is your best friend, then he'll stay. I'm currently crushing on my best friend too, & sometimes we even flirt with each other, but he's straight. I buy him whatever he needs, or wants .. we talk everyday, but lately, its been dry. You have to understand that he's now in a relationship, & you must respect that. One day, the pain will go away. It's hard i know, i cant listen to songs cus they remind me of him, i cant even use netflix or play PS3 either .. but one day, it'll pass. If your BFF loves you foreall, he'll stay, & from the sound of it, it seems like he will. One day, you should schedule a lunch or something, & let him know how you feel. Maybe he'll understand :) reading this broke my heart .. cus i know the feeling.

Ah, yup, yup, yup. Those awkward love triangles of youth...this time will pass! Also, you will not believe this, but when YOU have a boyfriend HE will start to get jealous. Not sexually, but he'll miss the loving glances, the attention, etc. "What do you mean you can't hang out, you HAVE to see your boyfriend tonight. Dude, come on, let's watch a movie & just be boys together." That'll happen & you might want to cancel your date or whatever but don't do it!

I had a very similar experience. All I can say is that maybe you think your friend is the only one person you can be happy with. But that is not true. Somewhere there is a special boy for you. You deserve to be loved and desired. Stop begging for love. The right person is waiting for you. Good luck!

this all situation also happened with me too and i never told him that i liked him , now i really feel different before him , i know... i know he also likes that girl but due to social status i never told him and i also think my likeness for him is decreasing

well i have a best friend and i love him so much and he knows that and we kiss on cheeks and hug each other, sleep on the same bed and one day he decided to get married and its ok with me even i supported the idea, after he got married things start to feel different and we spent less time and that killed me and i told him but he said he can't do anything about it cause his wife won't let him spend nights out and our relationship become bad then i decided to move on ... after several months he came to me and told me he miss the old days and he wants us to spend more time together and he will convince his wife to spend nights with me .. and from that on i got my best friend back ... so you need to give him space and he will realize that he misses you. good luck

Oh I have talked to him about it, that was the part where I was crying on his shoulder about liking him.

Hi I'd like to give you some advice. I'm not sure if you have talked to him about him going out with your friend, i'm guessing you have not. I think you really need to talk to him because if you don't you guys will grow farther and farther away.