Just Coming Out...

Well, it happened! When I was 18, back in 2008, I came out about being gay.

I grew up living in a strict-form Christian where being gay, bi, les and especially trans was not only a taboo subject, but a sin as well. I was told to "never be that way", that I had to find myself a good wife who was also a Christian. The plan? Have kids and overpopulate the world. I realize now how biased that opinion was.

Although I knew what my parents wanted from it, it didn't stop the feelings from flowing. The simple fact was that I was attracted to guys, not girls. I would often catch myself on the brink of announcing "He's cute!" or "I wouldn't mind going out with him". This of course meant that I had to be extremely wary of my emotions.

I pushed the feelings aside as much as humanly possible, trying to pass them off as a "stage" I was going through. I refused to believe I was gay. So I did what any guy in this situation might do and decided to get a girlfriend. I force-fed myself normality and social conformism. It wasn't hard getting a girlfriend, they were all over me any way (Oh no of course not, I'm not bragging xD), but it was difficult to make myself actually love them in a relationship. For that reason, none of my relationships ever worked out and all of them ended within days on the bases of my "inability to love and turn a cold cheek"

Then I went to a Teen Dharma Meditation Retreat, where one of the teachers was actually gay (and French <3). I had a very insightful conversation with him. He told me that no matter where I go, what I do, or who I love, I'll always be me. So, BE ME. It sounds amazingly simple but it was enough to make my life fall into place, and somehow his confidence in himself made me feel so reassured. That night, I came out to my close friend that I was indeed gay. His reaction?:

"I know."


(Update: After that incident, I came out to my friends and family. Nobody threatened to kill me, kick me out or run me over. In fact, they all just accepted who I was. The French meditation dude was right: I just needed to be me. )

Fortunately, I am in a relationship with the single most beautiful man on earth. He lives in England but his heart is here with me. I could never be happier, never ask for more, and I know that I'll be with him until the day I die. My life is good, and this is my fairytail.

Sparklepaws Sparklepaws
18-21, M
21 Responses Jan 23, 2009

Wow, So sad. Being gay is the best thing I could imagine and I have been so happy for so many years and enjoyed so very many people intimately after freeing myself from all the hetero hate and all the hetero mythology of only one person to love and horrendous hetero god stories and all their formulaic hetero romantic **** --which is really based on and totally to sugarcoat and to support two economic social concerns: paternity and property rights. Those are actually the basis for all of marriage and for most of the religious strictures and taboos that have been developed over thousands of years to support them. The male human wants to have lots of and naturally enjoys sex, lots of sex with lots of partners and really doesn't need too much of all the other garbage unless he's been brainwashed and made to feel inferior or bad or criminal or dirty or evil or whatever the haters and ignorant try to call us. All BS! Sex is great, ***** are fantastic and delicious and the more you do it without strings attached and the more guys you enjoy the greater life is! Don't use sex to try to control others or to "marry" them or to make them do what you want --No guilt trips or power plays!! Just enjoy sex for the hot, sensuous and great release and experience it is --especially with other men and their incredible *****! I have so many great and special friends and we are so sexy and intimate, sometimes several times in a single day and sometimes in groups of us all naked and sexing with each other, everybody trying to achieve ******* and give ******* to others. I love to enjoy several ***** all at once like bukkake (google it!) Wow, being in close, physical contact with men's bodies, serving and servicing each other, and being inside their bodies and having them inside me and sharing our really magical essence and juice is the most thrilling and hot and exciting and pleasurable times I have ever had, ever experienced and ever imagined. It is actually so fantastic that society, the church, women, all the "ruling" forces are afraid of just how consuming and thrilling it is! Way beyond anything they can offer to make you do what they want and better than any food, money, entertainment, anything! Give me a man and his **** and his juice or several and I am totally fulfilled (in the real way) and totally happy! And once you've been so intimate and had so much sex with guys you have a real special, incredible bond and can do all kinds of things together in the times between having sex if there is any! LOL

Wow. I'm actually almost about to cry.

Way to go!!!!! Ur story is beautiful!!!!!

Ur pic is awessome

= )

Great you came out

Good story. I have being trough alot of the same stuff. I just came out to my friends. I thought they wre okay with it. but every day im doubting it more.<br />
<br />
Im glad every came into place for you.

It is the people who lie to themselves who have problems. Tell yourself the truth about yourself and you can figure things out. Being gay is how you are built. How you live is a matter of choice. Many gay people are very happy living st8 lives. Some try to cover up the fact they are gay. This makes life misserable fo themselves and the people around them. <br />
<br />
Being gay is who you are, be proud of it. How you live is up to you. Live happy.

Good for you honey and I used to help teenagers which was called the Rainbow House. This was a place for teens that got kicked out because of their sexuality. I found that to be so sad. I was there for encouragement and I'm always willing to help anyone "Come out!" God Bless!

Good for you :) *APPLAUSE*

Hmm...not so much a happy ending as a happy beginning, eh? I remember what a sheer relief it was to finally come out, all those years ago. Couldn't be happier for ya, bud.<br />
<br />
cheers!<br />
Jd

This is a great post! Be true to yourself :-)

glad 2 hear coming out went well!!

I envy you

I love stories like these. The world needs more happy endings.

good for u!

good for you! we only live once in this world just be who you are

THAT IS WONDERFUL ... I THINK ITS A BOLD AND GREAT THING TO DO ... UNLIKE SOME PEOPLE WHO HIDE TO LOOK COOL CUS THEY TOTALLY DISCRIMINATE ON THEMSELVES IN A WAY ... CUS THEY CANT EXCEPT IT OR CARE ABOUT WHAT OTHERS THINK BUT U ... U CAME OUT NO MATTER WHAT ... AND I THINK U ARE A AWESOME PERSON FOR DOING SO ... HOPE U R MORE HAPPIER THAN ME LOL ... IM SURE U ARE ....

So very happy for you!<br />
Now you can live!<br />
Congratulations!!

Good for you!! It takes balls to come out like that!! Well done! :-)

that's great, congrats on coming out! that's awesome that it went over so well with your family and friends