Just Coming Out...
Well, it happened! When I was 18, back in 2008, I came out about being gay.
I grew up living in a strict-form Christian where being gay, bi, les and especially trans was not only a taboo subject, but a sin as well. I was told to "never be that way", that I had to find myself a good wife who was also a Christian. The plan? Have kids and overpopulate the world. I realize now how biased that opinion was.
Although I knew what my parents wanted from it, it didn't stop the feelings from flowing. The simple fact was that I was attracted to guys, not girls. I would often catch myself on the brink of announcing "He's cute!" or "I wouldn't mind going out with him". This of course meant that I had to be extremely wary of my emotions.
I pushed the feelings aside as much as humanly possible, trying to pass them off as a "stage" I was going through. I refused to believe I was gay. So I did what any guy in this situation might do and decided to get a girlfriend. I force-fed myself normality and social conformism. It wasn't hard getting a girlfriend, they were all over me any way (Oh no of course not, I'm not bragging xD), but it was difficult to make myself actually love them in a relationship. For that reason, none of my relationships ever worked out and all of them ended within days on the bases of my "inability to love and turn a cold cheek"
Then I went to a Teen Dharma Meditation Retreat, where one of the teachers was actually gay (and French <3). I had a very insightful conversation with him. He told me that no matter where I go, what I do, or who I love, I'll always be me. So, BE ME. It sounds amazingly simple but it was enough to make my life fall into place, and somehow his confidence in himself made me feel so reassured. That night, I came out to my close friend that I was indeed gay. His reaction?:
(Update: After that incident, I came out to my friends and family. Nobody threatened to kill me, kick me out or run me over. In fact, they all just accepted who I was. The French meditation dude was right: I just needed to be me. )
Fortunately, I am in a relationship with the single most beautiful man on earth. He lives in England but his heart is here with me. I could never be happier, never ask for more, and I know that I'll be with him until the day I die. My life is good, and this is my fairytail.