I had a difficult moment the other day. My friend has this hot boyfriend that's really nice tall charming sweet easygoing and has quite a bit of cash (like over a million). Well the trouble is that I'm kinda attracted to him. Not so much that I like him just that he is close to my ideal guy. I've never had a boyfriend or even been kissed, not because I'm ugly or awkward but just bec I'm a closeted gay and its harder. We had this moment the other day or more like I did (I pretty sure he is straight, like 95% sure) and what happened was that we got locked outside this building just the two of us with out a soul around. So we tried to go to the other side of the building to get in to the other entrance, but that was locked too. It was quite, dark and we had a nice view of the river. Then all of a sudden fireworks shot up into the sky over the water but they were silent like bright flares of different colors in the black sky. I could feel this heaviness the whole time we were locked out. A stone in the pit of my stomach slowly rotating. I wanted to touch to feel to hold but I knew I couldn't. It wasn't really him i wanted but more of the idea. The idea to have someone the idea of love. Later we walked back around in a different silence and found them outside looking for us. Ever sense then this whole week I've been out of sorts. When I see them together or alone I feel that heavy lone stone.
Shadow3711 Shadow3711
26-30, M
1 Response Aug 17, 2014

I wrote this fast so I m adding more. I'm 18 don't look at the 22-25 thing I did that bec I wanted to look at some naughty pics bec my other one was under so I made a 18 one but it still didnt work so i made this one and put 22-25 wat eves. Just when u read this picture the simplicity. His lips his hands his scruff and those blue eyes that feeling that makes you want to scream and cry in frustration. Read it slow too. He was 30 (oops)

Oh also he is sleeping in the room next to mine