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Gay Men On the Net Disgust Me

I have talked to so many guys on the net and they have all been the same.  Almost right off the bat they ask what my **** measurements are and other personal things about my self that are none of their damned business.  There are the old pervs and married guys out there "Do you have a cam" "what are you wearing", etc.  Then there are all the drama queens who are always talking about their ex-boyfriends and how much they faught.  It seems that when most gay men shack up together it is only for this kind of BS.  I don't understand it, do these guys get their periods thorugh their **** or *** hole or do they **** vinegar everyday of the month?

 

Aren't there any plain NORMAL gay guys out there who know how to carry on a polite, intelligent conversation and who live for anything besides sex?  Isn't there anyone else out there who is only looking for true love and companionship (like yours truly) instead of drama, drugs, and STDs?  I don't usually rant but my God the there are so many guys out there like that, it is just plain ridiculous. 

 

   

testarosa5137 testarosa5137 22-25, M 96 Responses Mar 13, 2009

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Call me sweetheart. I can change your mind. 843-231-9161

You sound so unhappy. Sure there are all kinds of people and let them ask what they want, you tell what you want. You'll no doubt be an old perv soon enough and actually you don't have to be very old to be a perv. I certainly do not wasn't to be a faux little heterosexual and have only one boyfriend and a husband-- that is so NOT gay! Gays have lots of lovers and lots of sex and are therefore generally much happier people if the str8s and the religionists and the sex phobias just were out of the picture.

Get off internet sites and join the real world. You'll find there are plenty of intelligent cultured gay men. Do you think that any group in society has a high success rate with internet meetups? If you limit the scope of your search to that what do you expect? Broaden your horizons and don't tarnish everyone's' reputation just because you've made a few bad choices. You are no better than the mindless homophobes that you may have the pleasure of encountering. Way to reinforce a stereotype!

Couldn't have said it better!!!

Whee nice im gay

I am a bisexual and I only have met 3 others with a sexuality that includes an attraction to the same sex (bisexual/homosexual) and none of them have been like that. I guess it depends where you are looking and if you are looking or just finding randomly.

FYI I like a guy with a smaller peepee, simply because
it fits in places it should go BETTER, (and doesn't hurt).

I feel ya, I've met many guys online and very few (if any) were normal guys who could carry a decent conversation. But hey, you gotta keep trying!

i am so sorry that you feel like that not every one is like that on EP there are good people hear to

i just want to say hello there here i m to talk

I understand your point. I am a homosexual man, closeted by the way, and one of the reasons I despise the idea of a gay "community" is exactly that. Whenever I see a march, I see a ton of half naked, if not, naked men dancing and having the time of their life in the middle of the street. They are stepping and crushing the image of all of the homosexual men out there, and with it, the whole purpose of the march. Even though you wrote this like four years ago, I just want to let you know that we are not all like that. We are people who happened to be born with a different sexual orientation. We also have feelings, a life, people that matter to us. I hope that in the future you'll meet people that will show you that what I'm telling you is true.

first of all you are totally wrong in many many thoughts u have.
Gays are living in a community full of hates toward them.
i am pure gay 100% and i am so proud to be a gay man
about sex and cam and etc of what u said
even people straight and girls seeking only sex ask the same issues
dont blame gay people because you dont know all of the gay men and boys
for example
i have sexual desires
am not here on the net to ask for sex or cam or chat or stuff
iam here to share my stories , my love and romance with my gay boy husband here on the net
by the way i am only 23 y
and i am telling you that you are totally misunderstanding the mean of gay orientation
being gay or straight it means u love a man same sex as you and you want to fulfill ur needs with him,
or you love a girl and you need to fulfill ur needs with her
dont say ***** to make people hate themselves just because of they were born gay since they discover their sexual orientation
dont make people hate gays either
just as in life, there is good straight with gentle ways,
there are bad straights
same in gay world
there are good gays and bad ones
thanks and watch ur words :)

Yes there are. Avoid the gay scene, go to sports groups etc and you will meet someone when you least expect it. Try doing some charity work and trust me you will meet some real people.

I agree - I am looking for a normal relationship based on that whole true love/companionship thing, but it doesn't appear to be the norm. I suspect that it is more the norm than you might suppose but it seems there are few social outlets for gay guys to meet and form relationships. There is a groupo in my town that meets monthly for pitch-in dinners and there are always very decent events, so maybe I am lucky. (I am...)

I have yet to encounter any such gay men. I am gay myself.

I agree. I have never been one to mess around but when I finally got in the gay scene everyone just wanted to have sex. Whatever happened to cuddling lol Also, whatever happened to men that are not feminine that wouldn't mind watching sports, going to a football game, hiking, or just chillin. I understand everyone is different, and respect that. I am just looking for a different kind of guy that's hard to find

The gay scene has always been, to my mind, just aweful... I mean, sure there must be some gay guys who are in* to that scene, but... well, there are some 'normal' g gay guys out there, who wdon't feel the need to camp up everything, or act a total queen all the time, and who are in longterm comitted relationships... Just maybe the 'scene' gay's have a louder voice and maybe get noticed more...

I thought I'd read some stories here to see how others felt about being gay. I have two brothers who are gay and found most of the stories I could relate to some of their experiences. Hope you don't mind me being heterosexual and state that the same predatory mind set is common on the heterosexual adult sites.

Your story is very and unfortunately real. I have found that by sorting through the garbage that I have been able to find a few good friends, both male and female to share stories with. EP is great because you can remain anonymous while you search!

Don't give up! There are good people out there, too. Thanks

Well, if you'd like to shoot me an email, I'd be willing to prove you wrong! :) I don't tend to propel conversation forward very well, but I have many things I'd prefer to talk about than the size of my phallus (or yours for that matter).

No there are none. Ive tried the internet and I only find men who are fake, players or married.

I've experienced the same situation. But I ignore them. If that's all that matters then why waste time letting them get know any part of me.

85 comments?..bit much

I also think of the same thing, there are a lot of them and ranges to different kinds of gay people teens or old men. Ever since, I get uncomfortable when they talk to me and asked personal stuffs and sexual roles. If I dont get into a fight, I ignore them. Every time when I am on chatrooms, or other social networks I would post "looking for a decent conversations/chats/guys or girls but man, almost all of the messages that I receive are not good and not even a decent one. Sometimes they will go to being decent but once you knw them more, you will find their true intentions.

Sometimes I cant help to think maybe that's why a lot of straight men and women hate gays because of that, but even so, they do the same thing! There's just too many thoughts that goes in my mind. But so far, I get to meet decent people in the internet which are into normal non-pervertive conversations. And like you, I prefer it that way. Also, its okay for me to listen to other's pains, because I have some too I mean when you eventually get to be friends, it'll be much stronger when your on each other's back. Much stronger relationships and knowing more about him/her.

I'm glad I found a decent person again.
Regards, Jp

P.S there are still a lot of guys who are looking for the same things, just be open, and you'll find your guy or he might find you. I was patient too, and stopped looking for a relationship after a breakup with last my gf(been 2years and 6months)(I had 5gfs before but it didnt work out after that..) and after a hideous worst relationship with my first bf. Instead I was open to everyone, and I my current bf, who happens to be my good friend in the internet asked me to date him(he is on the other side of the world) we've been dating/together for nearly 4 months now.

sigh , I m also in same thinking

I agree with your experience. I too am looking for a simple gay man.

To be fair that is mostly true - however there a few good guys out there who are not obsessively offensive

Brother,

Being gay is hard.
Finding someone to love, or that will love you back is scary.
It will happen!

Until then

Love you, love your friends, and love that you're alive. Being single sucks at times.... But being gay entitles us to fireworks and music when we do find our true love. It will happen for you, just like I know it will happen for me.... It's step by step and day by day for being gay. Just work hard and be the best person you can until

soooo trueee! :D

touche. very well said. there are so many like that. i like a nice chat about whatever. i dont like to cam chat. ive found guys on here that dont take the chat straight to sex. you just have to keep looking. join the right groups or just add the right people.

Yep i agree to. I only just started looking like 2 days ago cos know one i know is gay and i still have not had a single conversation where the guy has'nt asked if he can see my **** on the cam. So i know where you'r coming from.

well i'm here for a good chat ! and what you said are true most of the time.

Yeah there are lots. You just have to find them or maybe your looking in the wrong places. But there are i'm sure of it. Those websites are usually made for people to hook up anyways or most of the time used for things like that.

As if you don't care about **** size! You sure do and you know it.

I don't know... I mean, yes, there are guys who come on a say, "I bet you have a big one! Like to have it sucked?" which a guy said to me, out of the blue, on a hookup site. I was grossed out and offended and I told him, and then he got all hurt. He said like, geeze, just trying to make conversation!

But, just like you know that YOU aren't like these guys you describe, so do I and so does everyone else who has posted a comment on here.

But I urge people to not lump everybody into one category, just because of some. People lump us gay guys into one category all the time, and now we do it to each other. I do it myself... but good luck with your search, I hope you do find love, I really do.

Oh Good Grief yes!
I am "gay skinny" so soon as these hairy pigs get a look at
my pics they start with the "bondage" stuff. You know, they
want to hang me upside down, poke various things up my
***, etc. Disgusting! I mean what hog pen did these filthy
vermin just crawl out of? There are decent Gay men around,
(me for one I hope), who are interested in friendship, romance,
fun and LTR commitment instead of just hit-and-run sex.

AMEN! I hate when people ask me questions about sex its a complete turn off when you just meet me i feel like a real man would take the time to get to know a potential mate instead of just trying to have sex.

I think a lot of times these gay men online, are acctually married to a women and want to hide that they have relations with men. So when they do go online they want to jump right into what they are looking for. I am a lesbian and have many gay male friends and they are just like what you described and I also wonder if there are any normal ones out there too, I know there has to be, I just don't know any either.

Y'know, I totally agree with you. Absolutely. I want to be quietly gay in an intelligent way, ideally with one long term partner and not be pressurised by hollow stereotypes who flaunt themselves. Love beyond sex but not bypassing it. I'm probably a naive romantic.

No you're not a naive romantic! I am exactly the same way and am
just particular enough to make it happen.
I have a very fun and loving personality when the right person comes
along, but positively cannot STAND the gallery of PIGS you often
have to sift through to find him.

delete your browser history.

There are a lot of guys like that. There are also a lot of straight guys who asked similar questions as soon as they know they're talking to a girl or brag about the last girl they slept with. It's not everyone but the Internet can bring out the worst in people.

Sorry to hear you've had a bad experience with online gay guys. Personally it's a mixed bag here. You just have to realize that gay guys are for the most part just really horny guys. Not to mention you have the guys who aren't out yet and are only interested in experimenting physically.<br />
<br />
It also depends on what dating site you're using. Some have the intrinsic expectation that it's a hook-up app while others are more geared towards dating.<br />
<br />
Again I'm very sorry you haven't had a good experience with all this. Decent guys do exist out there online though. But nothing in life is easy. Gay dating online is no exception for sure.

I completely agree that Gay men are incredibly shallow, ignorant and often racist. They combine certain aspects of male and female psyche. And unfortunately, the combine WORST OF BOTH THE WORLDS.<br />
They have Male sex obsession, Visual stimulation. But dont have masculine carefree, risk taking attitude.<br />
They have female obsession of always being prim and prudish, but dont have feminine nature of caring and nurturing. Gays often have a negative fr<x>ame of mind: Constantly bitching, marginalizing and ridiculing things which dont exactly fit into their idea of elegance. They have much higher propensity of judging things solely ba<x>sed on looks- Dress sense of a colleague, Pet dog of a girl in the park, new tower coming up in City Centre, facial features of racial minority gay men.. Almost anything can be their potential victim of vile criticism: solely on superficial criteria of looks.<br />
<br />
PS: Not every gay men are like that. However, sufficient number of gay men have such bent of mind.

I totally agree with this article 100%. I also have a high IQ, along with Asperger's syndrome, and oftentimes, these animals that call themselves "gay men" will jumble their faces at me flirtatiously or greetingly, but what am I? A ******* animal psychologist? LOL While I do have an xtube account for adaptational purposes and personal amusement, I totally agree about the old perverts and the m o t h e r ******* e r s. When I say m o t h e r ******* e r, I mean youthful people who have sex with old people. It sickens me, because these old people are primarily taking advantage. It's not about love most of the time in these m o t h e r ******* i n g cases. Also, while I have my mind open to maybe someday hooking up with a friend, optimally, I prefer true love, as it is much more appreciative. Also, the gay community turns so many people off in their overly excessive sexual promotions, centered around whorish pornstar types. Also when they force their flamboyant sexual agenda on non-gays, they make all us gays look the same, and encourage homophobic conflicts. They make us look like all we want is sex and not true love. They encourage the homophobics that claim AIDS is our fault. AIDS is an STD, and STD's come from having sex unsafely with bunches of people. Maybe the gay community is partly to blame for spreading AIDS? So embarrassing, as I am Gay and Proud to be so, and yet I will continue to defend this reason why I more and more tend to disassociate with gay communities. I also don't get Nazi Hollywood and their Pure Face, Big D I C K, Big B o o b, Flat Belly, Firm A S S racist pride! I call it a nazi thing, because to be accepted by Hollywood, you have to look the same as all the others that are accepted by them. It's a mess. +rating for the article *thumbs up*

There are those guys for sure but I have found that there are more “normal” gay guys in cyberspace. I have many that I have been chatting with for years and couldn’t tell you what they have in their pants. We carry on conversations about this and that, usually boring stuff, but I have learned a lot about customs and history of many lands. Found out we are more similar than different. Try sites that aren’t dating sites. There are many gay groups on yahoo and google as an example, that are not about dating. So keep looking as I am sure you will find them. You will also find a lot of them are also on sites like this.

Hmmmmm...I agree that some gay guys online can be jerks, but I have also had plenty of good or great contacts online. Maybe try different sites,and realize that on the web, just as in the rest of life, not everyone will be who we want them to be!

yeah I totally get ware you coming from with this as I have tried the on-line dating thing but all I seem to get is guys that are only interested in wots in my pants even met up up with a couple of local guys of the net which turned out to bored straight guys with a g/f who just want a bit male nsa fun i also tried gardar.com got chatting to a guy not far from me things were going OK and was arranging to meet up then got a message from him the next day calling me a time waster which i aint i have now deleted my account on there

I know what you mean completely, I don't know how many sites I have visited looking for intelligent conversation. Being gay, I obviously jump to the gay room most of the time. Problem is, as you said, they're all nympho-maniacal perverts. I can't find a single place where a gay guy can go to find polite, civilized, intellectually stimulating conversation. Or text speak. I cannot explain how much this annoys me, it's not that hard to use proper grammar and punctuation. I think this is because those places are populated by younger kids. They don't know what love is, they don't know what truly caring for someone is. All they knows is sex and whatever else their hormones are telling them. Hopefully we can both find people more like us, that actually think with our heads instead of our ******.

Yes there r a lot of ****** up gay people out there. Maybe none of the normal ones are on here because they have lives.

Wow I agree with everything you said... I've recently implicated myself on online gay dating sites to meet new people, and at least 90% of the people who spoke to me are old man over 50 looking for one nights, or dudes that probably have so much std's their ***** are about to fall off... Being newly ''out of the closet'' i somewhat wished i havn't experienced what i saw for the past couple of weeks... I think i'll give up the easy way out to meet new gay guys online, cuz clearly its only an easy way to get positive. Guess ima have to suck it up and meet people in person.

I have to say I agree with this post. The behavior I have seen and heard about from gay men online does not paint a good picture of gays at all. From the twisted posts and replies that I have seen online from gay dudes makes me think that gays are a twisted bunch of irresponsible and immoral people. And I am never going to do anything to stick up for the rights of people like that. Now I know that not all gays are like that. But the nasty ones are online making the whole look really bad.

*nods* *sigh*<br />
YEP, i know the feeling too!<br />
Then you have women who thik you're not gay becaue you don't follow the stupid friickin stereotype and straight men who just don't understand you at all.<br />
<br />
I'm just looking for a decent bloke who doesn't think the size of **** is everything.<br />
It's a mess i tell you. I'm not camp at all and don't come across gay (i know how silly this sounds believe me) so i find it hard to meet blokes anyhoo.<br />
<br />
I keep searching...

Go on a different sort of gay chat site then. There are websites for all different sorts of guys. If you go on www.WellHungGuys.com or www.XRatedGayGuys.com what do you expect? Conversations about soft furnishings and pictures of puppies?!

You can message me sometime, I promise I'm not like that

That happened to me in a teen Chatroom. I was just trying to make some friends.

U know I never had this happen to me before... But I can see what u mean... Srry to sound blunt lol

I am a straight acting, masculine guy.<br />
Not attracted to women. Not interested in stereo-typical female activities.<br />
Not cissy, feminine,camp or cross-dressing. Nor am I into guys who wear nappies.<br />
Not into peeing, pooping and golden showers as sexual activities. <br />
I like to be able to walk down the street with a special friend without someone saying, "Look at that pair of poofs!"

but even if they did say that, remember it's their problem, not yours ;)

haha funny, lots of straight guys are like this with me too...it's just rude guys in general - their sexuality doesn't make a difference.

i totally understand what your talking about, there are soo many gay websites, where you think you will find a good friend to chat to, but all they what to chat about is sex!<br />
<br />
I have met some nice people who are gay on here to chat to, so good luck, i am sure you will find some good people on here to chat to.<br />
<br />
With best wishes Pete

I'm not sure if Normal is the appropriate desc<x>riptor you're looking for, but I understand what you are talking about.<br />
I'm a 23 y/o gay male, and I treat my homosexuality like it's nothing new or different, special or bizzar. It just is. I also don't really like clubs and hook ups aren't appealing. I don't know why I don't just fall into the "lifestyle". I've never been comfortable with the life you have described, so I've never participated in it. I've had friends in College who use grinder and hookup wherever whenever. I don't see how that is healthy or fulfilling. It's not who I am, and if I'm not true to myself than who am I? <br />
However, by living a life free of drugs-clubs-promescuity- and not dancing on the nearest parade float, I don't meet many gay men. I've always been a monogamy oriented guy, I'm really social, I have lots of friends, girls ask me out frequently, and even some of my hetero guy friends say I'd be the best boyfriend (I'm not trying to sound pompous or like I'm bragging). Seems like I'm a great guy. But gay men don't seem to be attracted to that, it's all about the body, the penis and if you'll have sex with them asap. I've dated 2 guys since I came out in college at 18, both relationships lasted for over a year (2 years, and 1.1 years) and the men I've met or been fixed up with since don't appreciate the good things in life and IMO have incredibly shallow expectations for life. To most of the gay men I've gotten to know, clothes are the most important thing in life, if music doesn't have a club beat then it's lame, if he's not hung than he's worthless, school is just a way to pass the time, work is lame, their body and image are the second most important thing. It just seems like they have such a shallow, small life, it's annoying really! <br />
Where are the men who like all kinds of music? Jazz, classical, rock, etc? Who dress practically. Are clean! Enjoy the outdoors, will camp and hike with me. Doesn't mind spending a few weeks backpacking or a month sailing the coast. Someone who wants a real relationship, the possibility of marriage and maybe kids one day. Someone who is just a genuinely sweet, grounded guy...<br />
I've managed to find some great friendships with people who appreciate the things in life that matter, but so far very few gay guys who do. <br />
It would be interesting if there were a site for that good type of guy, not necessarily normal. <br />
Maybe... "Kind guys who like the outdoors, motorcycles, organizing things, hardworking, value education, like cuddling, like jazz, have that jcrew look, like animals, want a real-funcional relationship, driven, like back rubs, kissing in the rain, running on the beach, sports, doesn't have a bad temper, laughs a lot, and is clean.com"<br />
Something like that. This isn't the most eloquent thing I've ever written but I hope it aptly gets my point across.<br />
Cheers,<br />
KP

I am not going to lie i do have perverted side to me but so does every one but i know how you feel i am thankful me and my bf have a great relationship

I think one has to be careful what site one uses . some are geared to people looking to meet in hope of dating and other are purely for sex and they market themselves as such . <br />
as far as asking people if they have a cam . most people should use one if they have nothing to hide . too many time pictures posted have nothing to do with the reality so asking someone to go on cam I don't think is too much to ask . If someone misrepresents themselves . its not a good way to start a friendship never mind a relationship . I would want to stay away form that person . if they are so insecure that they cannot share a video call or meet in person its simply a waste of time . with distance sometimes cam is the only way to go . I have met a few great guys where it all started on cam . you get to hear the voice , see some of their surroundings , their style and mannerism , how they react to certain questions , spontaneously. it tells a lot about the person and if they are someone you'd like to get to know better or not , whatever it is you are looking for

I think I'm more normal than the guys you speak of.<br />
I'm not a queen. If you saw me in person, you'd never know I'm gay.<br />
There are so many interesting things about me. Quite a few of them are naughty, because yes, I am a hormonal teenage gay boy, but I can easily separate the time for sex and the time for maturity.<br />
I love logic and thrive on intelligence.<br />
While I don't perfect any one skill, I learn very many, so I'm pretty versatile with my hobbies.<br />
<br />
The only potential deal breaker is that I am taken as of the last 3 years in a happy, loyal, committed relationship ba<x>sed on active sex, but also common interests, love, and the endless desire just to spend time together. I am a very lucky man and I hope you can meet a guy like... my boyfriend :P who is quite sweet and loyal to me, and oh so patient when I want something my way.

I know exactly what your talking about. I had another account on here that I had to delete because all the people that added me were completely immature & very rude. All they wanted to talk about was sex & nothing else. When I did not talk about what they wanted they just completely stop talking to me. Now I have my new account & I don't add anyone that just wants to talk about sex & weird stuff.

I am thinmking that my testosterone level has been low my whole life. Male sexuality scares me. I am a married bi guy looking to find a nice guy for some romance. I know that is weird. Al the guys I meet just want a hole.<br />
<br />
I feel so bad for the nice gay guys like you. What can i say, we are men, I guess that is what we do. I dont understand. I make love with my wife, not just ****. I make love with men, when I can find a good one.<br />
<br />
The web seems great, but I dont know that it has helped out much in this area, I have gotten quite the education.<br />
<br />
I have the best chats with the cd or trans people.

Far too many guys out there are exactly as you described. It's like, "I have a nine inch ****, but what do you care? It's not like we're having sex any time soon. Or even at all." You know what I mean?<br />
<br />
Any more it's nearly impossible to find a genuine guy who isn't just in it for a quick **** and no more. You might get your schnob schnobbed on for an hour, but then you're never going to talk to each other again. And what's the point in that?

I totally get what your saying as well. Even though I'm not looking for any relationship now, I just want some friends/buddies to talk to and hang out with. Friendships should be ba<x>sed on more than hooking up...I guess this is why guys stop talking to me online. I must spend too much time talking about life, travel, food, stock market, etc.

I agree. I don't do the scene because of this. But I try to keep an open mind and try to not generalise and stereotype people. Its hard though when most are exactly like that.

I think you are always best to get to know a person in the flesh. It is great to have online buddies who you can touch ba<x>se with now and then but if you are wanting that someone special then go out looking for it. You get to see the person as they are, you can chat with them in person, observe the way they act and go places you both enjoy. It's only then you will know if you want to spend more time together. I know what people mean on here when they say that lots of gay men are on the net for sex but I honestly believe there are lots of others on here looking for friends beyond just sex. I must say about 20 yrs ago it was better because you were more likely to go out to meet people than stay home on the net. Even if you were shy and don't enjoy so called venues/clubs then I honestly believe you will bump into that special person somewhere out there. The good thing about that is you willmore likely meet someone who lives in the same area and you will see more of each other than an internet relationship.

i tell you what, most of the decent gay guys avoid the net to meet someone, it is full of dirty people asking for sex,sex,sex...before i used to checked the so many available dating sites searching for someone polite enough to be a lover....but all i could see was dicks, balls, holes...it is ridiculous..i stopped checking all those damn sites..i just hope to meet someone and fall in love...

Very good Story

They should make a new word for these people, I mean gay guys who go run around looking for sex. Being gay is practically known now as having purple hair, going around ******* every other gay guy, and having piercings all over the place, and I hate being a part of that group of people. It's impossible for me to find a normal gay guy, because if someone looks and acts normal, they're automatically assumed to be straight, so how am I supposed to know some other normal gay guy like me is gay to begin with. Asking is practically a crime.<br />
I never even got emotionless sex. I never understood the idea of doing it with someone you don't know that well, someone that you don't even trust. No wonder straight couples are happier, they generally look for something in a relationship.

It's almost impossible to find any quality gay men on the internet. <br />
I found my first boyfriend on gay.com, he was over all a "sane" person, but our relationship just didn't work out. At that point I wasn't completely subscribed to the whole gay "dating" and "hooking up" culture (I'm from Taiwan, and still had that certain amount of traditional Asian value in me) So I was hoping to get into a relationship with someone that I can connect to.<br />
<br />
But the more I wander on the internet the more I realize I am conditioned to be promiscuous. It's not that I'm NOT looking for anything more than a one night stand, but it was plainly hard to stay true to myself when everyone out there make you believe that being gay means you are entitled to countless short term encounters.<br />
<br />
Lately I've been using adam4adam.com, it's a less raunchy version of Manhunt, but still, if you go to the search page, it's like a market place, you see more pictures of penises than faces. I also try a month of match.com (which I paid $30 for) but didn't have much luck there.<br />
<br />
Anyhow, I understand what you're talking about completely. And I'm hoping that I'll finally find a boyfriend at some point.

wow...You know, I thought I was the only one. The only "normal" gay guy out there. All I want is companionship. I want someone to hold hands with, someone to tell me I'm beautiful, someone to call beautiful, just to be with them. Too many guys out there want so much less. something easier, but less wonderful. And truly, in the end, less fulfilling. I hope one day you will find a little normality. That you can find that guy that wants you for you, not who he thinks you could be. That guy that wants to be with you not because of how big your **** is, but because he loves you. That is what I wish for you. I know someday you'll find it. Good luck!

I can understand this story, as a bisexual man I've felt the same way... you just need to make more contacts in non-sexual settings really, as others here have said. I can accept the highly sexual nature of gay culture up to a point, but it's nice to have an intelligent conversation now and then.

I agree with saunaguy to some degree - it's true that the internet and its anonymity make people behave in very bizarre ways. <br />
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However, it is also true that gay culture tends to be highly sexualized. It's a whole bunch of men, free to do whatever and whomever they please, without the moderating influence of women. Did you expect that they wouldn't act horny and sexual? <br />
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Frankly, I'm a little tired of people bitching about guys being guys and wanting to talk about sex. If you don't want to be sexy, join the library society. Gay websites are about sex, boys...get over it.

I couldn't agree more here. Its one of the things that frustrate me to no end. Usually, when the inappropriate questions start I'm out. I can't even deal with it anymore. Its almost as if people can't just have a normal conversation w/o bringing sex into it.

I think being gay is a state of mind where two people really care for each other even though of the same sex. It is not about all sex, as that is the minority of gays. I have seen many quality relationships . Good luck

Well, it's the aggressive ones that are out in front, hitting everything that moves. The laid back mellow intellectual ones tend to get lost in the background. I have known both, and speaking for myself, sex becomes very much passe with age, but I'm bi, not gay, and I was never aggressive or in people's faces. It's the same old story, it's the ones who make the most noise and bad impressions making it harder for everybody to avoid the silly stereotypes.

I too have to agree. I'm just a normal guy who loves life, people, and well... new things, but when it comes to meeting new people, I'm not all about "TELL ALL" just so you can get off... I like to talk to people so I can make friends, not hookups or netdates. <br />
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I am extremely open once you get to know me, and any question get the honest answer... but not at first... <br />
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Blah - ok - off to looking for a normal gay guy web site so I can actually interact with real people :)

Baha thats halrious.<br />
Some of us arn't pedos.

I know how you feel, I have been on every gayweb-site, known to man, the want to know your ++++ size and dirty pictures. And, honestly, I am getting pretty damn sick of it! Hell, I was on web-site earlier today, and did everything that they asked of me, and yet, it has cost about $150.00 to join this stuipd web-site the want my friends (who are not gay) give a testamonal, of what kind of person I am. My, friends know I am a caring person, and I am looking for a LTR for the rest of my life, and age has nothing to do with it, if you love that person? Am I right or Am I Wrong? I want that special someone to love me for me and I would do the same for him, he's my equal. I was looking on Adult friend Finders, nothing. Out Personnals, still nothing, and now Zoosk.com and still nothing. I am at the point thinking that there's noone to Love me, and that makes me sad!

When You say "normal"..what exactly do you mean?? Straight?? You think Straight guys think about everything BUT sex !! get a grip.str8 guys are totally sexually obsessed..

I've been out for 10 years after an eight year marriage, and I couldn't agree with your perceptions more. I've found some solace in groups. There is a Gay Dads group (we all have kids from adoption or previous marriages). There are other social interest groups you could check out, church if you're religious, outdoors groups, sports groups, bowling. <br />
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The internet often gives mixed results, and I think it's easier when your out in the real world where people aren't hiding behind anonymity or pegging themselves into some bear, twink, gymrat stereotype.

I totally understand where you're coming from. As a gay man, I do like sex and I'd be lying if I said I didn't but sex isn't the be all and end all. Sex for me has to be a part of something real and true, ie a relationship with someone I love and care about, sex being a way to communicate between us. I have lost count of the amount of gay men I've met who when you first meet them ask all the now sadly usual questions ... "how big is you ****?" "Do you give or take?" Blah blah blah. It's very boring. There are tons of gay men out there who aren't like that, sadly they seemed to get lost amidst the ones who are. Great post.

i agree wid the skip trace idea.... a li'l tedious though. but, yeah! it's true! ever been to Yahoo! Messenger's chat room ? especially the LGBT related rooms..... it's disgusting.... especially, when i'm sad about how i feel about my sexuality and there you go! ppl asking vital stats makin things worse. i felt sooo bad when one fella said that he's not interested in giving lectures and stopped responding......!!!!!

we exist but we are slowly being termenated by the penis question people.....

I am so with you on that....I mean im old enough to know you dont find love in bars/clubs much less online. I am not looking for 'Mr Right' or even 'Mr Right Now'...what i find frustrating is that even my friendships with other gay men are so screwed up that I am isolating from them too!

As a gay man I completely understand what you're talking about. When I got into the dating scene no one was interested in a relationship, they just wanted sex. When I did find someone I liked they were so catty and had this "bitchy girl" mentality that I had to leave.<br />
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I now have a very, very, devoted, intelligent fiance who understands boundaries and respect. It took a while though.

I am in a relationship like this right now and I just want it to end. I can never find someone that is just the exact fit for me :(

I think that it comes from the idea that if you are identifying your sexual orientation, you must want sex! That's unfortunate because I too would like to talk to people that are similarly situated but not have that in the forefront of their minds. This is why I'd never go to a gay bar. To me going to a bar is just going there for a quick fix and crumple it up and throw out the next morning. Enough of my ramble. I think I got my point across.

I agree totally, I sometimes just want another gay guy to talk to because I know my straight friends try but they can't understand, even the girls. I also have other gay friends, but some things are just better talked over with someone that has an outside point of view. I don't need to know your **** size if I all I want is a listening ear (or a reading eye) lol whatever the case may be

Frustrating, isn't it? It feels like although you're already part of a minority (being gay), you're also within a minority inside that minority (being intelligent and gay) which is obviously rare according to the stereotype. As if finding a guy was hard enough. Seriously, I just give up with trying to talk to guys online. It's a dead-end street every time.<br />
I can't even watch gay movies without cringing inwardly; they're so shallow and empty.<br />
I feel wrongly stereotyped by my own loving kind, and helpless to even fight it. I'm just proud that I'm not alone in this ideal.