I Am Gay and I Am Suffering From It

I am now 29. I only found out that I am gay only 2 years ago when i had my first "love"relation ever with a guy. During my relationship i felt great and that it's a normal thing to do...but later I was really afraid that my family knows about me (i have a conservative family) and life was hard because i loved the guy but didnt want family to know...I decided to get away and travel to work abroad.


From my 2 years experience of meeting guys (I mean casual meetings) I just heard so many stories and situations about them and now i find myself even more confused.

I like to have a family with kids but on the other hand i am not sure i can get married to a girl without feeling a passion for love. Maybe i would feel secured to get married to a girl but am just so afraid and hesitant about it and i just feel that i'd be faking the whole thing just to have kids, a warm home, and a "decent" life.

I would appreciate all ur inputs!Can anyone help?

jackh2 jackh2
26-30, M
11 Responses Sep 26, 2009

Wow, So sad. Being gay is the best thing I could imagine and I have been so happy for so many years and enjoyed so very many people intimately after freeing myself from all the hetero hate and all the hetero mythology of only one person to love and horrendous hetero god stories and all their formulaic hetero romantic **** --which is really based on and totally to sugarcoat and to support two economic social concerns: paternity and property rights. Those are actually the basis for all of marriage and for most of the religious strictures and taboos that have been developed over thousands of years to support them. The male human wants to have lots of and naturally enjoys sex, lots of sex with lots of partners and really doesn't need too much of all the other garbage unless he's been brainwashed and made to feel inferior or bad or criminal or dirty or evil or whatever the haters and ignorant try to call us. All BS! Sex is great, ***** are fantastic and delicious and the more you do it without strings attached and the more guys you enjoy the greater life is! Don't use sex to try to control others or to "marry" them or to make them do what you want --No guilt trips or power plays!! Just enjoy sex for the hot, sensuous and great release and experience it is --especially with other men and their incredible *****! I have so many great and special friends and we are so sexy and intimate, sometimes several times in a single day and sometimes in groups of us all naked and sexing with each other, everybody trying to achieve ******* and give ******* to others. I love to enjoy several ***** all at once like bukkake (google it!) Wow, being in close, physical contact with men's bodies, serving and servicing each other, and being inside their bodies and having them inside me and sharing our really magical essence and juice is the most thrilling and hot and exciting and pleasurable times I have ever had, ever experienced and ever imagined. It is actually so fantastic that society, the church, women, all the "ruling" forces are afraid of just how consuming and thrilling it is! Way beyond anything they can offer to make you do what they want and better than any food, money, entertainment, anything! Give me a man and his **** and his juice or several and I am totally fulfilled (in the real way) and totally happy! And once you've been so intimate and had so much sex with guys you have a real special, incredible bond and can do all kinds of things together in the times between having sex if there is any! LOL

Do whatever makes you happy! If anyone says anything against your choices, ignore them!

yes surely man and woman are made for each other. They are complimentary. Nature has given them power of reproduction and life long bond of love. Selfless love ,enriching your and life of your spouse and children. Try it honestly and sincerely with a new hope and love for yourself and your spouse

I hope you have passed the uncertainties of those days of your writing. Truth is the word, to lie about your person for yourself or the others alike is wrong. Everyone has a place in this world as they are. No-one demands more or expect any less. Have a good life!

i know this ,homosexualité is a test in life ..our test ,i know it's a hard one ..very hard one ....i know that god do no mistake and people refuse the idea that they are a mistake of nature ..NO , wrong type of thinking !!! <br />
if you get married and have kids that's mean that you passe in that diffecult test..<br />
gay s feel that they are special and unique that's why they refuse all kind of help.<br />
that's why I refuse all kinda of help!! why because the cure from all this is in no other hand .the cure is in you , you the only one who can cure yourself.<br />
with love hamza

from my heart , i traveled the world and my advice to you is to find a sensative girl who love you and stay away from gay world because there will be only pain and lonelyness waiting for you.i'm gay and i'm telling you this from my heart .<br />
try hard and you will be attracted to woman in no time ,but only if u stay far from gay world ,it worked for me ,hope that it will work for you.peace

If are afraid that your familly know that you gay (i prefer call it having sex with same genre), you should know that you hate the gay life. And so all other gays are thniking. The sex with a women has same events. You should married if you wan't children. In worst case have a wife and continue your relation but in discret not let your familly and wife know. Being gay is not normal, the normal thins is being with your wife so it is may be a great mistake to tell familly that you are gay, the result you keep familly in respect and have confidence in yourself too. So that when time you relise you should stop that practice you stop it easly because no one know that you are gay. Good chance

Hello everyone.<br />
<br />
I am 25 yo and I just discovered few months ago that I have a great part of me which is gay ! Actually what is sad is that I just discovered it thanks to a therapist. I used to have quite a lot of trouble with my college mates because I was lying to myself and I didn't know that I was gay. I was asking too much attention from my mates. <br />
<br />
At least I know myself better but I feel a little bit sad about discovering it so late now that I have started working and that ppl are more on a rush ! Even with that I haven't had a relationship with a guy. I will be patient...

Know where you're coming from guy. Just got out of a marriage, because I couldn't give her everything she needed and had to turn to another guy. And know what you mean about the family situation. My father's a southern baptist minister, and i was a youth minister. I had to be true to myself at some point. I'm 27, and I'e spent most of my life living a lie. I want kids. I will have kids. But not at the risk of putting antoher woman I put my wife through.

i had gay male friends who were partners and my friend had a baby with them and she's like the aunty and they are amazing fathers... so, if you want kids and companionship, you aren't trapped into marrying a woman.. that would probably end terribly.. making you, her, and your children unhappy...

Don't get married to a woman, I repeat don't. Your life together would be a big lie. Even worse if you had children. If you are truly gay - then hook up with a man and don't worry about what others think. If your family truly loves you then they will accept you as your are. But don't expect them to like it.<br />
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PS: I am gay