I Am Gay And Completely Alone
I'm writing this with tears in my eyes.
I have been alone forever. I do have friends but not one of them know who I really am...I'm gay, 25 years old and live in a country where homosexuality is still very much a taboo. I cannot tell anyone about this because I fear rejection. I know for a fact that many of my friends would stop talking to me if they found out and my parents might kick me out of the house and then I'll be lonelier than ever. I've never attempted to hook up with another guy...I'm too afraid to let anyone know even if he's a complete stranger. Maybe I deserve to be alone because I'm such a big coward, I've never taken risks. In the meantime I keep getting older and things are exactly the same as they were 5 years ago. I am alone...many of my friends have started to get married; they're moving on, having their own families. My situation is so bleak. I wish with all my heart that I will some day have my own family, but I don't see how that's ever going to happen! I don't know of any gay people in my country, sometimes I wonder if I'm the only gay person in the entire world; or if I'm the only person who has been so unfortunate in life. Once I signed up on a dating site but I did not find a single gay person from my country. I know that the only way for me to find an opportunity at happiness is to get out of my country, but I know that I can't leave by myself....there's absolutley no way out for me. I don't know what's still keeping me going but whatever it is it won't last for much longer.
Sorry for writing such a bleak story, but this is what I have to live with every day. The future scares me, I don't want to be alone.