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Gay? Yeah, That's Me

A lot of gay people have said that if they could choose, they'd choose to be straight. Being gay is hard. Yeah, it's hard. But I bet that being straight is. I'm happy just as I am ... If I could choose, I'd choose to stay gay.
jayt76 jayt76 31-35, M 51 Responses Oct 6, 2006

Your Response


Why choose. Both sides are fun, be both. Having the restrictions on who you can have sex with removed by the supreme court has now made both directions legal fun, so swing away, and enjoy both.

It's not like anyone has a choice in this. Simply "having sex" with anyone, male and/or female isn't what defines a homosexual or heterosexual. I've never heard anyone interpret the recent Supreme Court rulings on Same Sex Marriage as simplisticly as you've expressed here. It's no where close to being as superficial as that. What this ruling entails is the legal contract of marriage between two people of the same sex. It has absolutely nothing to do with "having sex." It's about property, taxes, inheritance, and the legal abilities now available to same sex couples. It deals with Social Security Death Benefits and a survivor being able to stay in the home that had together prior to one of them passing away. A marriage is not defined by the ability to have sex together. It's about all these other non-sexual legal issues.

Sorry Colin, I didn't mean to imply otherwise. Everything you say is the absolute truth and the very valid reason why marriage should be allowed to anyone who wants to be married.

However I come from a time when being caught in a homosexual act was criminal. Sodomy could put you in prison for years. When the religious prudes who ran our country, were even allowed to interpret what activity was allowed in our bedrooms. The supreme court has invalidated all those laws. If you are sexually inclined to have sex with another person of the same sex as yourself, go ahead. There is no longer any legal basis to restrict your activities, other than the ones that apply to age and public decency.

I appreciate your response, Nothingon. And I too come from that same time period as you. There may be a few years between us, but not enough to make us from different generations. (I'll be 62 this April.)

I also come from a Catholic school upbringing with 12 years of parochial school education... and nuns! ;-) )

I guess I'm inclined to stress aspects of Same Sex Marriage that the general public really gives no credence to because my husband and I have had so much in jeopardy until this ruling.

Having been married to a female previously, things happening as that do, we had three children together. (This, despite the fact that, without knowing any terms such as gay or homosexual, (or any of the many derogatory words used to describe us at the time)... I knew I preferred sitting next to other little boys back in 1st grade. (I say "derogatory words at the time" because those same words today have become descriptors that younger generations proudly use. "Queer" and "******" were words that were ALWAYS thrown as a slur when we were growing up. Not always the case today.)

Long story short... ex-wife was having affair with Baptist minister. Somewhat a blessing in disguise because years after we divorced, I was able to come out when my husband today came into my life. BUT... my three biological children were all Funda-mental christians along with mommy and one defrocked Baptist minister who divorced his first wife to be with my ex! (Soap operas got nothing compared to this!) And three Funda-mental christian children are

taught they can't have a gay daddy... so they've shunned me now for 12 years.

The divorce decree (through a bunch of BS I won't go I into... state's I can ONLY name my 3 children in my will. And the odds of them not kicking my husband to the curb should something happen to me are slim to none. (Good, living christians that they are! ;-) )

On another facet of pre-Supreme Court ruling: Having owned my home outright, I added my husband's name to the title. IF I had passed away before him, he's have to pay the taxes on "my half" of the house... at the same rate as total strangers off the street! That's how we were viewed as far as taxes went then.

OR... if he had passed away first... I would have had to pay the taxes on the "half house I have him" when I added his name to the title!

All of this changed with that Supreme Court ruling. But the general public RARELY had the slightest knowledge that this was reality for us. Compared to these facts, they all thought we simply were fighting to be allowed to walk down the aisle in a dress or some such notion.

They ex screwing a married Baptist minster and all that is freakin' hysterical! But the financial and tax implications of how things were before the ruling were a horrific nightmare for gay couples.

Now you see why I feel compelled to explain precisely what this ruling did for us all.

On another "somewhat humorous" note... while my now husband and I were dating, then into a long distance relationship until we could make it all happen...

I live in Pennsylvania. He was living in Houston, TX when we met. Texas legally did not allow the same of, shall we say "phallic shaped toys" that might be used by makes OR female's, either solo or together with a partner! ;-)

I'm far from ashamed to admit that on some or all of my flights to Houston, I may have had "one or two" such items in one of the compartments of my checked-in luggage. After one of my flights to see him, upon unpacking at his home, stuffed into that very compartment is a printed note from Continental Airlines:

"This luggage has been opened and inspected..." and so on!

I hope those inspectors laughed as hard as we did when they came across them! (Perhaps those aren't the best choice of words... then again, maybe that's exactly what they are! ;-) )

and if autocorrect hadn't screwed it up... that was supposed to read "Texas did not allow the SALE of..."

5 More Responses

I think being gay is better, at least for me. I wish i was even more gay, because i'm still really only partially gay. As gay, i've had so many incredible sexual experiences, the straight equivolents I never could have gotten.

Love being gay. Love other gay guys and especially love making their gay ***** feel great!

That is the best way to sum up being gay ive ever heard. It make me proud to be gay.

Thanks, but no thanks. I'd never want to be straight (narrow, arrogant, limited, less artistic, etc. etc.) Besides I just love men's bodies too much.

I love being gay and would never change who I am. That does not mean it is always easy, but life is not meant to be easy. I have grown into the person I am today because of everything that I am.

Anything I can do to help? Anytime fwb for you! LOL

Being straight yes it's normal but me I've had to always hide for years that I'm really bisexual being that I get more accepted by friends that I have are both gay and bisexual and I do love more than my straight friends cause we all understand each other which I like alot!!!!

I find sucking a guys **** makes for a lot of understanding and special knowledge and trust. When a guy lets me worship his ****, he has given me something very special that straights rarely can even understand.

I'm Straight But I'm In Love With One Of My Friends
I keep having a fantasy sucking his **** , i don't know why , my heart is beating when talking to him , but i'm straight , in love with girls , what should i do . No other guy making me feel like that , only one person ,

Find a way to express it to him. take a chance when it feels so right. If you bottle it down and don't try, you will regret it when the opportunity is gone

Im just guessing but that sounds like your bi.

I love to have sex with other guys who are more fem. I don't like manly guys but I really enjoy sex with fem guys. I don't know if that is being gay but I have been married many time and never had a successful heterosexual relationship. I thing about gay sex a lot and ********** to gay images. What am i

It was hard being straight because I didn't wanna be lol. I was doing it cuz everybody expected me to do it and i was afraid of loosing "friends"....Now I love being Gay cuz its what i want to be.....I love Women!

I love myself and regardless at the end of the day i have to make my self happy and thats being gay!!!!!!

I hope you don't mind me responding. I'm heterosexual with 2 gay & 2 lesbian siblings. You are right that being heterosexual is hard, but so is being gay or lesbian. Many of life's struggles are the same but many of the social struggles are unique. Just remember that you need to be true to yourself! Our father raised us kids to judge others "by who they are, not what they are." Thanks

Good story and well said! There was a time when I wished I was "normal", but I'm proud and happy of who I am and wouldn't change if I could!

Love love love being gay here and the amazing opportunity it brings to be intimate with awesome men and their *****!

Being gay is such a an important part of my life now that I wouldn't change even if I could. I'm certainly not ashamed of being gay, after all, that's just the way I turned out. Oh, I suppose my life would have been easiler if I had been born straight, but on the other hand, there's something to be said for not being part of the crowd too. I'm gay and proud!

I could not agree with you more. Very well said!

Kind regards


Yes, being gay is hard, but not being yourself is even harder!

I would stay bi. Guys are hot.

Yes guys are hot indeed

I wish I was ballsy enough to say the same. Maybe it's not with much guts, but I would definitely choose to be straight. I often imagine how different things would be- as a gay guy I feel like the white elephant in the room 90% of the time- and that's as a closeted gay guy.

Same here buddy!

See what I said above? You just need some special loving attention!

So you were force to be gay?

No he is saying if he could change his sexuality, he would. He isn't saying being gay is a choice.

Sorry. but that may be part of the problem. Now if you were in a room with all gay guys, you and your **** would probably be feeling much better.

2 More Responses

if i got to choose ill choose to be straight then i wont struggle, be normal and fit in this stupid community.

Stupid community says it all. I am so happy to squeeze in our gay community --the tighter the better for me!

hey there friends!! i'm a bi-male i.e. a person who likes to have fun with both men and women,,,<br />
<br />
<br />
for fun find me on skype using arya.gupta.503

I choose to stay gay. Its who I am, why would I change?

i don't know honestly how i feel about being gay , i mean sometimes i hate it soooooooo much and i even think of suiciding but sometimes i like being special diffrent from others

At first I have the same feelings and after make love to other guy I felt some kind of gilt and discomfort, with the time it become ok and now I could not be any other way, I love the way I am

Thats hot that you know what you are like think. <br />
I want your ****

Me too, lets have a ********* or foursome!

i dunno what i'd pick but it's so hard for me to even imagine being straight it's like YUCK i can't even think about it

It took me a long time, and pain, to come to this conclusion as well.

Wish I could have helped!

I am bi but I think I am lying to myself cause I know for a fact I like guys more than I like girls. I think the only reason I like girls is cause I am in the closet about my sexuality so have to show some kind of feeling for girls lol I wish I could for more like you

Well, when you are in the room with me I hoe you will be your total gay self and well certainly make the best of that.

Hey, you're the first person i hear saying that. Cool :) - I wish i could say the same.

as much as I agree with you, most straight people don't get their ***** kicked for being straight<br />
being gay is way more of a challenge especially if someone decides you shoot you because they're homophobic, I've never heard of this happening to someone because their straight.

Sadly there are brainwashed insecure nuts out there. Hope the joy of gay sex makes up for the trouble! It certainly does for me.

@forevercharmed, I too love being Gay too. I have just come out at the tender age of 42. I am finally complete. Mentally Emotionally and sexually.

Good for you. Pump that ****, spread your legs, meet guys and enjoy --best thing in life!

i admire your confidence of upholding who you are, unlike me who sometimes has the kind of disappointment regarding my gender.

You don't have enough friends to give you some relief and confidence and shear pleasure in being gay, in say sex and in the gay camaraderie,

It's a tough question to answer. I have a part yes and part no response to this question. Part of me knows that being gay is who I am. I would never want to change that. I could never look at a girl and be sincerely in love with her the way I would with a guy, and I wouldn't want to either. I also know that coming out can be a very grueling and difficult process in general. The abuse that I took when coming out was very difficult to cope at times, and i wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy. While I did get through it, I realize that it took alot out of me, some stuff that I won't be able to change.

But you survived and hopefully are now a happy, sexual person and part of a special band of bros.

I am bi but only close friends know it . the only thing stopping me letting the world know is the thought of hurting loved ones

I am bi but only close friends know it . the only thing stopping me letting the world know is the thought of hurting loved ones

Since I don't believe being gay is anything to be ashamed of, I don't think it matters much. It's like saying you'd rather have a different hair color, one isn't actually better than the other. If I had to choose, though, I would stay the way I am. I wouldn't change just because somebody wants me to. Frell the haters!

Go you! I live in a town full of self-righteous Christians who tell homosexuals they are going to Hell and they are the spawn of Satan,etc etc.<br />
You be you and don't be afraid,good job !

Much hugs to Shufflemuffle, who sounds like he's been going through some really hard stuff. I hope things have gotten better since you wrote that comment those years ago.

I'm glad you are proud of who you really are.. Both sides do face difficulties, but as a closeted me, I think being gay is harder in finding love..

Especially if you try to do it in the hetero mode. Have sex with guys and love does follow! AND, we are able to log more than one at a time!

This is question that everyone can evaluate in their own context! <br />
The facts that are surrounding gay people are not the same in all situations and areas so someone could say (maybe my situation) that I would prefer to be straight because being gay in my country is very controversal with the conservative ideals that my society has about homosexuality.<br />
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In all cases though it is not a choice to take, so whatever is the answer we must live by it! And because Love (as other said here) is for all, that means for all is hard wither way!

Being gay is way more fun than being straight! We get rainbows!

LOL. Not just rainbows but magic wands to suck on! The happiest most thrilling and fantastic moments of my life are when I am focused on a beautiful, delicious **** and pleasing a man!

Hey phoenix666, it's never EASY, even if it sounds like it. The best we can hope for is to, first, be true to our own feelings and what we know for ourselves is truth; and second, to trust that someday, we will find that peace and contentment that comes with making the right choices in life. I can tell you one thing: you will NOT feel any better -- worse, in fact, even though you make think it's not possible -- by denying who you are. So even though you may read my experience above and wish you had it as easy as I do.... you must realize that I didn't come to that feeling of contentment and peace overnight. It is something that takes time, hard work, and a lot of loving yourself. But it's entirely worth it. YOU are worth it!

i wish it was that easy 4 me...

There are a lot of us out here trying to help. There is a whole community however underground it may be and there is the shear magic of the gay sex experience, Try to enjoy, try to go with your bros!

i love being gay, i never thought of being stright, thats nasty lol

You are so right!

@Aminik -- Well said. :) Relationships are always hard because it's not just about one person but about two people. (Or, I guess, more than that sometimes, depending on the relationship.) We can't control the other person, and that's what makes it so hard.

Again, beware of the hetero mode of love. Have sex and when guys have good sex all else becomes easier! I find worship their **** and guys are happier and appreciative and love happens.

@redholly -- It makes me mad, too... But it's an investment. Previous generations fought even harder than my generation does, so that I can enjoy a little more freedom and equality. I fight, though, so that future generations will be a little more equal and a little more free.<br />
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@journeyfulloflaughter -- Trying to find love is definitely hard, and I think it probably is no matter who or what you are, whether that's gay or straight, human or unicorn. ;-)

You should be who you are! Straight or gay, relationships are way hard! Unfortunately gay relationships get more crap then others and for the ones that last for so long its wonderful because you are dealing with much more than a straight relationship!

i'm glad that you value who you are :) <br />
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and yes, being straight is hard, i can testify to it. i imagine being gay is hard too. really, trying to find love is hard.

Thanks marieceleste35. While I don't think that whom we are attracted to is a matter of choice, how we deal with it certainly is: We can accept it or we can run from it. Sounds like Melsafurse could use a friend, too.

Melsafurse -- I think that we each have to define ourselves. Whether you call yourself straight, bicurious, "straight but," or whatever, that's up to you. Your attraction to others is personal and not a matter of debate for others. Some bicurious people I've known have eventually made the leap into defining themselves as gay. Others have realized that they were actually straight after all. Often, it actually does take a real experience or at least the prospect of an experience to help bring that definition into focus.

I'm not happy with who I am. It's not a choice at all and the whole thing has been eating away at me since I was 12.

Once you come to terms with who you are and learn what is truly going to make you happy, you'll be at peace. Trust me, when you come out, it's definitely a freeing experience. You don't have to hate yourself anymore. My friends absolutely surprised me and I can talk to them about all of that stuff now. So no worries dude/dudette (lol) there are better things on the horizon.

It's very important to yourself, that you accept yourself as you are. My own mother is THOROUGHLY convinced that I made my own CHOICE to be gay. This has led to MANY arguments and discord. She is so stubborn to believe that she knows more than someone else, even her own son, and furthermore refuses to believe anything I tell her! Believe me this has caused me much grief, and even had me questioning myself. It wasn't until I found this website, and read the accounts of other people stating the same thing, that I finally began to realize all along that I had no more of a choice in my sexual preference, than anyone else does! Needless to say, my mother has still taken the "hard line" and she and I are not on speaking terms. I just cannot understand how she does not even value anything I say on this issue, it's quite sad, and she has "lost" me as a son. I hope you do not go through what I am going through. I dare say that if I had a choice in my sexuality, it would be to be straight or at least bi. There are only a small percentage of gay people available, and it makes finding a long-term partner very difficult.
Anyone, please feel free to comment back to me direct.....

If I wasn't gay, I wouldn't have a relationship with a wonderful woman. So I'm happy.

yyyeahh! Go you :) I had that struggle with my ex, she was all like "I hope I'm straight for uni" I was like: ******* IT! Your wonderful whatever you are! :P <br />