Gay And Ashamed

it all started when i knew i was bisexual. it remained this way for a while but all of a sudden i saw my intrest in girls was slowly fading and my intrest in guys was oh so strong. the most iv thought of a girl is just a friend. i have come out to a few pepole. but needless to say i didnt go well and its partly my fualt. the first person i chose was an EXETREME catholic. she kept trying to force me to be staright until i broke down and yelled at her. i feel so bad becuase i made her cry. but what elase was i supposed to do? keep letting her force somthing onto me that just isnt me? i couldnt let it go on and i just completly snaped. im losing friends faster then i can snap my fingers.

LelouchZero LelouchZero
18-21, T
12 Responses Mar 5, 2010

Why should you be ahamed? Dont pay a lot of attention about what other people say. Though I dont know this kind of pain, of everyone descriminating you because youre gay, but I do know that your TRUE friends will appear. They will stick by you. You're not alone in this, remember that. As docotor Sues said "Those who mind dont matter, and those who matter dont mind." The first step is accepting yourself, the way you are little king. Love yourself and the rest will follow. *hugs* I will always be here to talk to, just in case who need help.

I'm BI ! There I said it. for the first time in a public place. You know king I understand that it must be hard. I have been battling my sexuality all my life. I spent a very confused youth. I liked both sexes and back in the 70s at boarding school if you were found out....well it was not good. It was a co ed school so we had girls as well. But that did not matter if you were caught. I was never caught thank God. But as a result of these feelings and other life experiences I have been battling depression all my life. It's now to the point of I'm now listed as having a disability. Having said that I wont give in. And nor should you. Be the person you want to be and to hell with all the others!<br />
The other comment on here by the guy who had long hair. Sorry can't see your name on this page. I had long blond hair when I was growing up to. The school used to go me about it and being an English boarding school forced me once to get it cut. But that was the only time I let them do it. And yes I was mistaken for girl right through my youth and that went into my early 20s. I hated it at first but by the time I was older I didn't mind. I now like my feminine side....although I have put on weight and lost most of my hair so don't look like a female anymore.<br />
I guess to sum up. Be who you are. If people have a problem with that then remember it's THEIR PROBLEM not yours.

KL It does seem that we should not have to come out, but the thing is, we should never have to be IN in the first place. This won't stop until this world gets to a place where we all accept each other regardless of sexuality. I don't really like being defined by who my heart feels for. BUT I'm not about to hide it either. Unfortunately being where you are it may be more difficult. You have to decide if the stress of coming out is worse than the stress of holding back and fearing being outed on someone else's terms. <br />
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italyboy, I love the way you put it that we are all the same, yet all unique. Very beautifully said and true.

i came out step by step ...... it was hard ..... your real freands will stand by you and ones you feal comfortable it won't matter what ignorant pepole think and to my suprise many pepole who where shoked at first thene relized that i was the same person as befor changed there idiea about gay pepol because they had never realy known one or not relized that they did /do ... we are all the same straight gay bi whatever we are all just humane beings and i beleave there are as many sexualitys as pepole on earth we are all the same and all uninkue (sp.) and thats why life is great and hard at the same time ...... love your self for your self respect your self for your self and the love and respect of others will naturaly follow ............................ xxx italy boy

yea. its not fair that we should come out and staight guys should not. iv learnd also the hard way that anouccing it turns out very very bad

your right. but i think i should come out

u cant b true 2 others unless u r true 2 urself. ur the 1 who has 2 live ur life and its not right 4 others 2 tell u how 2 do it. just be urself. as others have said, there r plenty of friends 4 u here :)<br />
best wishes!

Pantymaker: i see. you broke a scared "taboo". when ever someone goes agiast socity pepole rebell becuase its not there standers. im with you. i just want to be myself. always. i dont want to be the "social norm" becuase its boring and ill just never be able to do it. it would be to hard.<br />
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Angel: thank you. and i know about the EP friends. every one on here is SO nice. i love all you guys

First of all it takes a lot to come out at your age and I am proud of you for doing so. It sounds like you may have started with the wrong person and it's sad that she did that to you.. It's also sad that the friends you hoped would be by your side are turning their backs. You deserve better than that and anytime you need a friend there are plenty here at EP and I'm sure you will meet more and better RL friends in time. Take care and I'm always here if you need someone to talk to...

thank you. all of you.

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well, you may have made a mistake coming out to a catholic like that, but when it all comes down to it, you shouldn't feel bad. it's ridiculous religious-based beliefs that keep the hate for homosexuality as strong as it is.. and beliefs aside, she should stick by you and support you as a friend regardless.<br />
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only two people know of my orientation in real life, and one of them happens to be very religious herself.. but she values our friendship enough to not try to force me to be straight, as you put it. you shouldn't be ashamed dude.. and I would have snapped just the same in your position. now, don't get me wrong, I am in the closet myself and have no right to criticize you for feeling the way you do about these things.. but for sure, there is nothing wrong with YOU or the way that you've handled things. <br />
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like you, I at first considered myself bisexual before the feelings for guys became stronger.. I hate to hear that you're losing friends; I figure I would too if I were to come out to more people. but not for a second is it your fault that we live in an intolerant society.. that is the only problem here, not yourself or your feelings!