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Where To Go Now

I  have been with a guy for over a year in the first 3 months he was the most amazing person i had ever met  fell iin love head over heels for him. spent the rest of the year decovering i was wrong.  He was a drug addict a savier alocholic, bi polar with maina and an extreamly dominating  man. He is 37 years old has no home 12 children can not keep a job , the only vechile he has is the one under my name that he doesn't make the payments on. We have been through so much, i am finding it hard to just let him go. He split with me about 4 days ago , yes we have been through this a few times , but this time i am trying to really do what is best for me and my children. My friends hate him my parents hate him, even his own mother told me there comes a time to let go. Even though we are not married i have treated this man like a husband, supported him ,helpped him cleaned up his messes. put my  family my home my stablilty at risk for him time and time again. I truly love him . I am going through ta very rough time in my life right now , feeling a bit trapped. i have a great support group my friends are wonderful ( the ones he could not make me leave) My parents are really behind me all the way on this one.  I know i am doing the right thing by letting him go , but i hurts soooooo bad.  I am normaly a very upbeat posative person , and this whole thing just seems to be ripping my whole world apart . I am just need to talk it out i feel like  i am going nuts... thanks for reading
catzeyes627 catzeyes627 31-35, F 12 Responses Jun 14, 2011

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You have to learn that you can't save everyone, put your white horse back in the barn and save your family!!

dont know how old this story is but get rid of him quickly. sorry for your pain and all but get him out.

It might hurt now, and it may seem impossible to forget, but once you have moved on, you will probably look back and realise that you did the right thing

he is gone..now..be strong...no back peddling allowed..just keep remindng yourself why you had to let him go...Your a good person, and deseve way better in life.. Just keep reminding your self about that fact.<br />
hugs..

Allah bless you...

THANK YOU :)

That's a load on your shoulders :( The bipolar for me is already enough. Are you still with him?

NOOPE HE IS LONG GONE... I HAVE DONE THE REPAIRS AND MOVED ON .... I AM HAPPY , ALONE BUT HAPPY

I'm surprised you tolerated all his baggage. Glad to hear you dropped him off. You'll find someone. Be optimistic. :)

I agree with most especially ECPC. I am just asking a rhetorical question (pl. don't take it the wrong way)... DO YOU LOVE HIM MORE THAN YOUR CHILDREN? There, you just answered your dilemna. Now, please listen to all those good people giving you great advise and follow it. Additionally, please also see a counselor as you have some issues you need to iron out... so, first of all you can be a great mom to your kids AND also take care of yourself. Remember, it's not where you came from or where you are at... it's where you are going from here on! Carpe Diem (seize the day)!

Did you say twelve (12) children? Twelve!

LOL YEAH 13 NOW ... HIS MOM CALLED IT IS TOO FUNNY

Holy you-know-what! Thirteen (13!) kids is criminal. Way more than any two parents can handle.

"He is 37 years old has no home 12 children can not keep a job , the only vehicle he has is the one under my name that he doesn't make the payments on." Has he fathered 12 children??<br />
<br />
I do not understand how women are often attracted to men with no incomes, messed up lives, and difficult personalities. Was he even any good in bed? All this has nothing to do with your German ancestry, or his ancestry. It has everything to do with his refusal to be responsible, and to own up to the damage he causes. My reading suggests that every country town in America has its share of bad dudes like him.

Dear Cat,<br />
Do not feel alone, You have entered a den and it's hard to escape. I'm not the expert on your guy, but to be on the safe side, I feel you need to see a counselor, she or he will help you see why you need to leave the situation or stay. If you stay, I sense you will have to take control of your Man, As a Master takes care of a Slave. You will have to tell him what he can do and when he can do it, you will have to stand over him and watch him take his Bi polor meds, as those folks when they are dong good, feel the need not to take their meds and of course that is bad. He has you confused and tied in knots. Yes you have been together for a long time, perhaps good your not married, would take even longer for you to escape. My best advice is for you to seek help from counselor in this deli ma. I can only speak from my experience of dating a Bi Polar person, and it took me a long time to leave, but once I was out, I could see clearly, why I was trapped by her. It's no easy task. But I will keep you in my prayers. Sincerely,<br />
Chris

You can get addicted to people just like drugs..IMHO your not so much in love with him but lacking in love for yourself,or for your kids perhaps?..Really if you truly loved your kids you would not be wasting your time and setting such a bad example for them..<br />
You have enabled a rat,.male or female,.to flourish on your account which is called "enabling"..<br />
Out of nearly 7 billion people on this planet ,surely you could better..??<br />
Seek counselling as to why you would entertain such madness.

great to have suport but you may want to get counceling too. it is hard when you find someone that seems to answer the needs you have. almost like a drug and you crave that. it is great your family is suporting you. keep looking ahead and dont let this get you down or pull you down. keep walking you have kids that is your most important thing in this world. <br />
as far as him when he decides to change he will sounds like he is self medicating and dont think he will want to get off the things that help him cope. you are best to stay away from that one. good luck it is hard for sure. hugs