My Husband Wants A Divorce. Not An Easy Time For Me. Can Anyone Give Me Some Advice?

Hi. I have been with my husband for almost  5 years and been married for 3. It seems that he hates me. I have done nothing but cater to him andd be a good wife. He has told me maky times that he isnt happy because so are not complatible and always the same stupid broken record. I have everything you can imagine for him to be happy and always try to tell him we can make it work and that I will try to change. Yes, I have gone so far as to lower myself and i guess "begg" him to stay in the marriage. It always comes down to we are not working out, we are very different, you are this and that and I'm not happy. I can't no longer take his putting me down and catering to his every need. I love him but I'm sure he doesn't or else he woudn't want to quit on us. I love him but I love myself more. I finaly said ok I respect your decition. We don't have kids together but he does have one from a previous marriage. We own a house together and 2 dogs. I am going throught a very hard time does anone have any advice for me? He is rude and mean to me and disrespects me. I have tried to chose my battles and let a lot go for the sake of getting along but today I finaly gave up.  I feel so sad and like I have fail. Truth is, he wants a model wife. Hw wants me to cook, clean, work to help with bills which i have always done and top it off look like a model when he gets home. Is it my fault? Should I have tried harded? or did I try enough? I feel so sad right now. Any advice?

khalua khalua
5 Responses Apr 26, 2010

Hey it sounds like my life, I have been married three times and each time I have adjusted my life to suit my husband's happiness. I am at this time going through divorce with this third husband and he is saying I am too good for him and he will always love me but is not in love with me??? He says I deserve a better man than he is and that I gave 200% to our marriage and he gave nothing. Which is true but I love him and can't come to terms that he wants a divorce. I have had to get into counseling to learn to love myself and move on and that is what I feel you ought to do. Love can't be onesided it never works.

I had also the same problem as you, but the Aleq Sini CD Be Happy - Feel Good helped me,I can recommend you check it page :

My guess is that your husband id jealous of you and angry at himself. He is projecting his pain on to you. Please pray for him and realize that you are not the cause of his pain. I am currently in the process of a divorce but I realize that God had the final say and he will not let you be mistreated

He doesn't respect you. Nothing you do will ever be good enough. It's just an excuse. Let him go. He will only treat you terribly. He has some issues that have nothing to do with you. Don't get sucked in, don't believe him when he puts you down. You need to be strong for yourself. Stand on your own two feet. You will come out of this stronger and will find someone who will appreciate you. But you need to love and respect yourself first. You deserve better.

it's very obvious that your husband expecting so much from you but you are not trying to do it. well, the only advice i can say is that try to impress him of what he wants. Give him a month to do it but if this never works give up otherwise you both end as a loser.