Still Waiting...

I have been married for going on 17 years, we have three children boy(16), girl(11), girl(6). My wife had an affair that started around 18 Jun 2006, when I found out about it, she kept doing it right under my nose. Finally after giving up I filed for divorce on July 5, 2007. Her dad hired her an attorney and it sits in divorce limbo since July, so far I find the entire divorce process to be a joke at best all though it's on par with anything else the government is involved in. The court ordered us to mediation which we did, we agreed on everything and yet it still sits waiting on trial 6 Feb, 2008. I am not sure who is holding it up, her attorney or her. In some ways I think she is lying to me about doing joint custody and only says that so I will leave her alone. I think we are in some serious need of marriage reform in the US, I now think there should be a cooling off period of at least 2 years before you can get married. I love our kids very much, my girls mean the world to me I dont know why but my girls are special to me, I also love our son very much. I am so tired of this, tired of drinking to forget!
M6T9 M6T9
36-40, M
7 Responses Dec 5, 2007

I'm with ya man

I agree with lula69! You don't need an addiction on top of everything else! And those kids need a sober dad! So what, it takes time! Go find some distractions! Get on a bowling team or coach little league, or join a dating site, volunteer at a church...get on with your life, I bet before you know it, your court date will be here! Praying for you!! :)

That is great advice. Bowling can be fun and you can meet a lot of friends. Church is good, too. If he is not a church goer, checking out churches can be fun just to see how different they are.

If you're sure about your decision to divorce then who cares how long it takes? The pain of the marriage breakup will be there with or without the legal process. Your mindset is cemented so will be the same regardless of the process. Try to remove your heart from the detail of it and experience the feelings that go with the breakup. I wish you lots of happiness xx

it does feel like limbo doesn't it? <br />
<br />
were you able to at least legally separate? it's a small relief when you need to feel as though you've made some head way.

I have been divorced for a while now, just seem like it took forever, to get here. I will forever miss my family, it's just not the same

Hey, and don't start alcohol abuse. You need your strength an your cool for yourself and for your kids. I realize it hurts what you are going through, but life will go on and you will have plenty of better new oportunities to happiness. At least you won't be the one running around with guilt feelings like I do. But keep cool and healthy for your kids.

Get informed, get ready, be smart. You might be being played. But also know that it's a huge waste of time from them, and mean spirited, and stupid, and irresponsible regarding the kids, to do this end-battle at divorce. But you want to stay involved with your kids, you must prepare yourself or lose them. Apparently over 90% of divorces in the end are settled out of court after a lot of money and blood is wasted! Do you have an attorney? Consider it or else they might take you for a ride. Secure your assets. Stay involved with your kids. But communicate, with her, with her dad, person to person. If they are humans and not hateful jerks, you might be able to establish communication. Don't let pride and anger take the better of you. You communicate now to achieve a bearable outcome. Be the better person, but be smart and have a plan B. Don't panic, but don't be stupid. Good luck!

I hear that most divorces take about a year. Be patient. It sounds like you did the right thing and just have to wait for our legal system to be through with you.