My Best (ex) Friend And My Soon To Be Ex Husband

So glad I found this place.  I am now not alone.  My story.....

My husband and I were married for 18 years.  I fell madly in love with him, we got married and then he had several affairs early in our marriage.  I know I never got over it.  But I stayed married to him and we had two very wonderful children.  The last several years have been very rough.  We had a couple who were our best friends and we spent a lot of time together.  She was my best friend.  I mean my very best friend.  My husband and I decided to get a divorce and I am good with that.  Better for our entire family.  Then four days later my best friend announces she is divorcing her husband.  This was no surprise as their marriage was bad.  Then she tells me that if my husband were to ask her out, she would go out with him.  We spent an hour on the phone dicussing this and she cannot believe I have a problem with this!

Now they are dating and apparently are going to live together!  Neither one of them understands why I have a problem with this.  It is killing me and my 10 year old daughter is freaking out. 

This woman is telling all of our friends and they just cannot believe it.  Who does this?

I am trying to be strong and keep telling myself to stop thinking about it.  It is hard but I will make it. 

Thanks for listening!  Nice to have a group who has had similiar experiences. 

Good luck to everyone here!
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4 Responses May 23, 2010

My best friend, who was also my only friend watched me live in an abusive relationship for 12 years. At the end she is the one who told me to call the abused woman's group we have here. She helped me make the decision to leave him. <br />
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Five weeks later she called up to ask how my "new friend" and I were doing. I had made friends with a man and we had a lot in common. I told her sometimes he came over to watch a movie but nothing else. She was surprised and said well you're not going to get back together with your husband are you? I said no, the last five weeks cemented that decision for me. She quickly found and excuse to get off the phone<br />
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That was the last time she called me or accepted a call from me. She dumped me for my husband. Five months later he took her to Vegas for a week, she left her 14 y/o son home alone that week. She is his new g/f and he is treating her like he treated me from what others have said.<br />
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Funny thing is the "friend" she asked about, him and I have been together for almost two years now. He is wonderful and treats me the way I should be treated. So Karma won in the end I think.

My ex and I aren't even divorced yet and my so called best friend is trying desperately to get in with my ex. She goes round his house all the time and tries to be mummy to my six year old son when he is there. My son hates her. I know she does not fancy my ex in that way she just wants a sugar daddy to handle her 3 kids from different fathers and financial support. <br />
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But how shallow do you have to be, she helped me move out and a week later was round there everyday. She can't understand why I don't want to be her friend anymore. REALLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!<br />
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I am so angry whith them both. How do I move on ?

Thanks! I have written them both off! I am getting on with my life with my children. They are the most important people in my life and I love them with all of my heart.<br />
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He and are fine. We will continue to parent our children together. He is a great dad just not such a great man. <br />
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And yes, I am better than that! I will survive!

Really, she doesn't understand why you would have a problem with this? Really? What planet is she from? I am blown away that she is that clueless. Obviously she doesn't get what a friend is. I mean as amiacable as I am trying to make my divorce, and as much as I want our friends to be both of our friends after the dust settles, if one of my girl friends were to jump on my stbx before the ink was dry I'd probably have issues. Although if they were my friend, I'd try to warn them that not all is at it seems, but maybe I'd laugh and say you get what you deserve. And really, maybe that's how you have to look at it, karma will bite them in the ***. They deserve each other. They'll probably both cheat. Get tired of each other. One of them is going to get burned, but they both deserve it. Write them both off. Get on with your own life and be glad you learned how they are. You're better than that.<br />
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Good luck to you. Be strong.