Should Have

For so long now i have been angry with my Ex because of what my Marriage "Should have been"...
Today is our two year anniversary, We have been legally separated for 3 months now, and while i dont miss him or his abuse, i miss what it should have been. i shouldnt be living with a friend, or having to deal with a lawyer  I should be celebrating today madly in love with the man i pledge to love for ever. Today is the first time i have felt the tangible rip in my heart, the nagging pain in the back of my mind that is bidding me to shed a tear, because i lost this round, it's the first time i have littereally felt lost in all of this. Broken hearted and alone. So what do you do to get past this? How do i begin to mend that rip in my heart?
YOU STOP LOOKING AT WHAT SHOULD HAVE BEEN! it doesnt help it only hurts ( i say this more to myself than anyone else)
All i can do now is pick up and keep moving.  If i keep looking back i am going to trip over the good.

It's time to start living the life i have always dreamed of.
MissMeliss83 MissMeliss83
26-30, F
5 Responses Jul 12, 2010

MIss, <br />
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First off, you should not reflect on what it should have been you should look to the future on what could be - there are so many great things you can do with your life - now that you dont have him to bring down your self esteem :) NEVER LET A person ABUSE YOU, physically, mentally or verbally. You deserve better than that, and you deserve respect, Keep looking forward no matter how much it hurts, look back as a learning expirience only - pick yourself up, dust yourself off and start again.<br />
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You can do it :)

The best advice I can give is not to be friends with your ex-husband. It will just bring you greater pain in the long run and it will take you much longer to get over him. You need to delete or burn everything. It took me 3.5 years to get over someone because I could not let go. I finally let go of him..no more phone calls, friendship & I am finally getting my life back together again. It also helps to vent your frustrations on EP. It will help you get over the anger and move on faster.

Thank you so much for the support! It really means a lot knowing that there are others who understand what i am going thru!

You need to grieve. You have lost something. Even if it was just a dream. It's ok. Allow yourself some time to be sad. It hurts. I think we all go through those, I think it is 5, stages of grief. You will be angry too. But someday, and hopefully soon, you will have peace, and know that what you did was the right thing. And then some day, I hope, you will be happy. We all deserve to be happy. It's what keeps me going. You deserve to be happy.

Yes, you are right, that is what causes so much pain and anguish, the thinking about what should have been.<br />
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Keep moving forward if you are sure this is what is best. If you keep looking in the rearview mirror, you are sure to crash.<br />
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Best of luck.