On The Way Out

I was in a relationship 11 years ago with my wife and we got engaged. 2 months into the dating we were doing.  She said she had started feeling like she was having secnd thoughts so we called it off.  Several months went by and I had met a lovely lady and started seeing her on a regular basis.  After a chance meeting with my former fiance' we struck back up where we left off, got engaged agin and then married.   This December will be 10 years we have been married and I can honestly say, 8 of those years have been miserable.  After committing and getting married, raising and supporting my wifes 4 daughters that she had with her ex husband, who has never paid child support or been involved in any aspect of school functions or anything with his girls, my wife tells me she wants a divorce three months ago as her youngest girl is graduating high school. 

I feel so betrayed because for all intents and purposes, I believe that she stayed married long enough to be supported both financially and emotionally as were her daughters.  Just long enough for them to get out of school, all the sudden, she doesn't love me anymore.  My own children from a previous marriage have let me know how betrayed they feel because I supported my current wifes children much as I did them, but all the while they felt like my wife was using me.  Their angst with me is that they feel like I have been prostituted by her only for the sake of supporting her kids.. I don't know what I feel worse about, the fact that a woman I loved no longer loves me, if she ever did or how stupid I  feel if I have been used.  This is the time in my life when I truly believed that we would start the process of growing old together since the children were gone.

I'm broken hearted and feel foolish.We have debts to pay and when they're paid then will file and move on.  I feel like I have wasted the last 11 years. 
stugots20 stugots20
46-50, M
1 Response Aug 3, 2010

Don't take this as wasting time. Now, with this experience, you will be more carefully to whom you give your love and support to. Just think that if she was using you all this years, you are lucky that soon you will not longer be used. There are always two ways to see things that happen to us, Use this as a good change to start over and let it go, for your own health.<br />
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With her or without her, thanks GOD, you are still you, She will have to fight for her own demons,