Hard Fought Battle

Im getting a divorce, well probably will.  My  wife has fallen in love with 2 guys in last year and half.I have tried nearly a year to make things right with her. I hoping something might change.A lot of days  it felt  like I was beating a dead horse.On our sixth anni  she was texting her lover boy all day at the state fair. I found out she was texting him and  I broke the phone in half  instantly. Somehow i convince her the phone was lost.Stuff like that  has made me more of a beast than a man. I have tried so hard to get a better understanding of her.
       Earlier in the year I left the house for a month, bc  that is what she wanted. She wanted to get closer to her lover boy who lives so far away. she  wanted to  cyber sex with him and chat with him often as possible.Two of those days during that month I  slept in my car. I got tired of living with a family member and couldnt go back to my house yet.
       It  hurts  when she sees the sunset at a ball game she thinking of him. When she drives home from work or from her home state she thinks only of him.  She wears a necklace at work to remember him.I didnt realize how unstable our relationship was.
         I slept  on the couch for 9 months.During those 9 months I kissed her on her lips only 6 times and only 3 really were passionate enough to count.I havent had sex with her over a year. Sometimes  I wonder why do i keep doing this ? Why do I keep fighting for her ? I have told her many times, she is the only person  I want to be married to.
        The  new twist in our soap opera drama is her old crush from high school is getting a divorce.He  is calling her now and  she is sending him emails.It's a little too early to tell what will happen there.This could be the third guy  in year and half.I can only take so much.I must go on.If her love isnt the same for me anymore, I must be brave and take the next step.I told her if we get a divorce I never want to see her again. So that is a small part of my story.

      I feel like Im fighting a losing battle. I must be stupid or crazy to  be beat a dead horse  when I was the one that killed it in the first place.Have a good day.  MY life is changing  a lot this year. It has too.  I cant stand the thoughts of  my wife with another man

from Navy Blue Wolf  with heart of gold
BlackParade BlackParade
31-35, M
3 Responses Jan 5, 2008

I admire your courage to love her unconditionally and faithfully. It takes a strong man to do that. I give you lots of praise!

we are still together, stronger than ever.

We have a two year old boy. He is our world. we(my wife and I ) are still together and hopefully for a lifetime.

So have things changed?