Afraid Of Being AloneI signed the divorce papers today. I expected to be emotional, but luckily I felt strong and clear-minded that I'm doing what's best. I've accepted the fact that our marriage of 7 years is over. It was totally unexpected. We just bought our very first home in 2009. But as I said, I've accepted things.
What's killing me is the fear of the unknown. I don't have family here in the US, and perhaps I am to blame for this, but I never built any strong friendships during the course of our marriage. I have acquaintances-- co-workers, etc. but no close friends. My life revolved around my husband. I became close to his circle of friends, and I really enjoy their company. But I don't really have friends of my own.
I am so afraid of being alone. The fear is overwhelming. Once we sell the house and I move out, I will be completely on my own. I dread the thought of coming home to an empty apartment, having no one to talk to. Even now that we're emotionally separated but still living under the same roof, I dread weekends because I have no where to go, and no one to spend time with. I'm so afraid of what it would be like when I finally have to move out and have no one to be with.