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If You Want To End Your Marriage. . .

There are goods and bad ways to end a marriage. There is also a worst way. That is cheating on your spouse.

It may make you feel good for now, but it will destroy them. And you will not feel good then.

Stop and think about your options. Do not EVER make your physical or emotional needs the most important thing in your life. There are consequences for all actions. You do not want this one on your conscience.

Take it from a man who has had the light in his soul snuffed out.
phatdog phatdog 36-40, M 4 Responses Dec 13, 2011

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People who cheat are worthless cowards. They do not want to lose the security of the couple as well as do not want to lose the pleassure to be with another.

And that's a fact. Since I wrote that a couple of years ago, a lot more has happened. Enough that I can say for a FACT, you are right.

Your comments about cheating being the worst way to end a marriage are true. Your wife is proving that to you as you proved it to yourself. At the same time, about half of all married people cheat and some figure out how to get things together and fix what is broken. Sometimes things that are repaired are better than the new. BUT you have to both adjust and change. In your situation, now, you realize that the distance between you that caused you to want other women flowed, in part, from her activities with other men. So you ad a life of 2 deceptive people deceiving each other, in part because both thought the other could never understand. <br />
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There is no such thing as a healthy low-maintenance relationship. Relationships require lots of maintenance but most women and men are far too lazy to do what needs to be done. They would rather find a magic pill or a magic soul mate to make the whole thing great. Life is not that way. You get out of life what you put in. Sometimes it is fair and sometimes it is not. Some people will do their best to be great spouses and get screwed over and others will have dedicated spouses while giving nothing in return. <br />
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If you have children you have to find a way to end things civilly, or better fix things and allow healing. Healing takes time and effort, and after healing there as to be joy. No joy means giving up.

I want to be positive for you two and tell you that if it's not good, it's not the end. This is just a stepping stone on the path of life. Bigger and better things are coming. My life sucks right now and sometimes I get so sad I think I might as well give up and not get out of the bed but there are many people out there that are compassionate and understanding. Good luck to both of you!

Thank you very much. However, a lot has happened since I first wrote this. I have since found out she has a boyfriend, AND is having meaningless unprotected sex with guys she meets on the internet and doesn't even know, AND is trying to trick me out of all our possessions. So, I'm not really interested in working things out.

I hope your situation improves, or at least, you feel better about it. It is hard. I guess you just have to try to have hope for tomorrow. Best wishes.

I feel better because I have some kind of closure. My in-laws are the spawn of the devil and my husband is emotionally distraught due to his upbringing and he has taken that into his own relationship. As much love and kindness my heart has for everyone, especially him, I can't jeopardize my mental stability. In your case, I wish you look forward with a positive attitude about all you've learned and what you've got to give. Good luck in life!

I would agree. If you are unhappy move foward. Cheating just make a bad situation worse. People need to resolve issues before they move foward, trying to have your cake and eat it too just doesn't work.

Curious you put it that way. My wife emailed her also married boyfriend that she wanted them both to have their cake and eat it, too. I don't get it. I don't think I ever will.