I Grew A Pair!Friday night, he asked me to join him for dinner at our favorite restaurant. He was already there when I arrived, sad puppy face in place. I got a beer and sat down with him to wait for our table. He started in immediately..."your mom is still coming over for Easter, right?" I mumbled something. I grabbed my beer for a drink, angry that I'd given yet another enabling answer.
I took off my wedding rings over a month ago, to see what it felt like. As I picked up my beer, for the first time, he noticed this. "Where's your bling?" he asked. I mumbled something about them no longer fitting because of the weight I've lost which is true, btw and yet so very enabling. More frustration set in. He says, "why don't we go to the jeweler tomorrow and get them resized?"
That did it. That was the wake-up call I needed.
"Dear, I'm leaving you. We are done. There is no need whatsoever to resize those rings." Wow...I could feel the stress leaving my body. He had the audacity to say, "do you know what you're saying?" I took a deep breath and repeated myself.
So much for dinner. He suggested we go home. Once at home, he adopted a demeanor I wasn't prepared for. He was cooperative. Overly cooperative. He showed me all of the financials spreadsheets. We talked about the lawyer I found. He agreed I could hire the lawyer, and that this one lawyer could handle the entire divorce. We talked about who is living where. Who would get the dog.
He said he was proud of me, and that my conviction impressed him. We were even joking a bit by the end of the night.
Until he's actually out, I'm still at code orange.
In the meantime, we're in separate bedrooms. I have made it clear we are now roommates only, and that he should buy his own groceries, do his own laundry, etc.
I told my mom today. She was shocked, then sad.
He told one of his brothers. The one who survived a really, really nasty divorce. I told him I thought that was the wrong sibling to talk to but...like he's going to listen to me!
We both got home in time to watch Kentucky barely beat Louisville in the NCAA final four. He was very quiet the rest of the night. He went to bed right after the game. Before going to bed, he turned to me and said, "I have another idea to share with you tomorrow..."
I'm on pins and needles...but I now know I have what it takes to say no to him :-)
Thank you to all of my incredible ep friends who cajoled, educated, supported, and encouraged me through the beginning of this process. You all are priceless!