Perspective Is Everything

Just copied the following from an e-mail I was sending a friend:

I’m beginning to realize that perspective is everything. The more I focus on the past and all of the things I’m bitter about in the present, the more tragic all this seems. On the other hand, the idea of new beginnings, a fresh start, one door closing and another opening makes it all seem more optimistic. I’ve been with this woman 23 years; that is half of my life, and nearly the entirety of my adult life. Everything up to this point has been framed in the context of being married to her. Furthermore, I’ve been miserable for at least the last 10 years, downright disgusted for the last 7. This is the change I’ve been yearning for. I’m beginning to get a glimpse of life with new eyes. So much is possible from this day forward. It all sounds so obvious, but it is too big to wrap my head around it. All these years, all these ways of thinking and doing and imagining and being – all of that and so much more are up for revision, and I’m free to make it as I please. Crazy! Crazy cool! A part of me is really excited!

juan1966 juan1966
46-50, M
8 Responses Apr 2, 2012

How has life progressed in the last few months?

20 years with the same woman, shes been gone 10 months now, but Im still toxic with her, if it were not for our kids dont know what I would do, despair, despair, despair

Im sorry to note you were unhappy for a very long time. Focus your attention and aim high. I wish you the very best for the future, Juan1966.

That is the plan, Duchess.
Thank you for the well wishes.

Datura,<br />
The present is proving to be a great deal of work, and I need a clear head and optimistic outlook to get through it. <br />
I appreciate your support!

It really is crazy cool! I'm so glad you realize all this, Juan. You can choose how you are going to look at it and it will make a world of difference. No sense wasting your new-found freedom on resentments and bitterness and living in the past. Live in the present and enjoy.

There is still a great deal of anxiety and the list of things to take care of is growing by the hour. 2012 is going to be a year of hard work; there is no getting around it. Nevertheless, there is a distant shore in sight, and I'm willing to do what needs to be done to get to that other side.

The anxiety...I know. Just keep the shore in your sights and you will be okay.

Aye aye!

This sounds like something I could have written--verbatim. I remember the day I made the decision that the time was right. I felt equal parts terror and exhilaration. The terror faded within 24 hours. But the joy of freedom from emotional oppression has never worn off. I am still REALLY happy to have my life back.<br />
None of it is easy, but still-- congratulations are in order because "hitting the reset button" ( a phrase I have recently embraced) feels amazing. I am happy for you.

OMG it is like a breath of fresh air!