Divorcing My Controlling Bipolar Husband

I served him,he burned the papers on thw front lawn. He was completely against it cuz he still loved me and wantwd to stay with me forever. Then he said hed go thru with it if ichanged the condirons a bit so i did. Now 2280.00 latwr he changed his mind nd wont sign them. I had the paprs ajusted again and h knows hes gna get them soon. He told me he better never be seved again cuz hes gna snap and take whoever is around him down wirh him. I need some advice. He still curses at me daily and flies odff thw handle wen i refuse to tey anymore. Any suggestions? We have 3 kids together and he involves them in every argument. Their ages are 13,10,
amzaa amzaa
41-45, F
4 Responses May 9, 2012

I also want to mention that he has asked for a divorce or "broke up with " several times during the course of the relationship for no reason. He is moody and irritable. Always has flights of ideas, and spends more money theme he has. I have been paying all the bills since he left his job last year. Up until a couple weeks ago he got a job and thinks he's in control and now wants me gone. <br />
In the last couple weeks of the manic phase he has little sleep and even has been waking me up at 5 or 6 am to yell at me for the smallest things. He slams doors, called me a gorilla the other day (didn't make sense). I am well fit, fairly attractive and well educated. <br />
In the past five years I have read so much about the disorder that I finally recognize it's not me!<br />
Whatever you do, don't go down to their level, while it may be unintentional, they are trying to hurt you to make them feel the pain they are in. I can't help him anymore unless he helps himself.

Run as fast as you can!! Im 34 years old and have been with my husband for 18 years. Yes, that long.<br />
A little history: I come from a broken home met him when I was 16 he was 18. He came from a prominent family, loving, and stable. No alcohol or drug history in his family. We fell in love, and it wasn't until 2 years later I noticed his spending and irritability and verbal abuse. Then he was nice loving and charming the next. I blew it off because i was too young to know it was bipolar. <br />
Fast toward 5 years it became worse he had manic and depressive episodes and of course it was all my fault. Still didn't know that it was bipolar at the time, so I believed it was my fault, but always had a hunch that something was terribly wrong with him. Fast forward a couple more years we had our first child everything was great. A few years later we had our daughter. That was great too. Mind you, he still had episodes but we didn't know what it was. Again, it was always my fault.<br />
Just last year he was finally diagnosed after he spent his life savings of 50,000 and up andover to Hawaii with out me and kids because he was too depressed here. Well two months go by he found out he wasn't happy there either. So after he spent all his money he came back in the biggest depression state. That's when he sought help.<br />
He did the trial and error of meds and tried them each for a week and told his pdoc they didn't work. So he quit taking them all together and stuck with an antidepressant lexapro. <br />
He finally got out of the depression and just last wk hit the manic phase. He got a new Job (first time in a year) and decided he can't stand me anymore he is constantly yelling and putting me down. Now, I am a nurse (a correctional nurse) and know a lot about this disorder. He denies he's bipolar and refuses to go back on lithium. He loves me one minute and hates me the next. I have tried and tried and never no matter how bad lose control. He is sick and I plan on leaving after I save a bit. He doesn't know it though. I can't wait to be from the pain and hurt. My kids may thank me one day, hopefully theyll understand why we left.<br />
This has gone on too long, and ironically I didn't know anything about this until I went to nursing school. And now out of all jobs I'm a correctional nurse taking care of inmates with similar disorders. I don't talk much to people about this because they probably wouldn't believe me as he behaves in public.<br />
Good luck!

Report his threats and Have him committed! Sounds to me you need a restraining order against this crazy trip!

The third chil is 4 yrs old.