I Did It!

So I finally filed... I'm waiting for the applause.  It has been quite a journey to finally get to the point where I decided no more hurt and to move on.  I was married to the most sweet, caring and loving man that I thought I knew.  He was my rock, literally.  But of all the things I were to him, I guess I wasn't much to him.  He told me in October 2010 that he wanted a divorce and that almost broke me all the way down.  Here's a little of my background.

I met my now stbx (soon-to-be-EX) in the summer of 2000.  I was only 19 years old and he was 25.  He had graduated from a really nice college and started in his career as a college football coach.  To say that I was impressed would be the least.  I was down right in awe of him.  Very nice, handsome man with a promising career.  I loved that he was older than me and already knew what he wanted in life.  And he expressed to me that I was what he wanted.  We had a kind of world wind romance despite the objection of others and we married a year later in 2001.  I had just turned 21.  I was so happy to be his wife.  All I wanted to do was to make him as happy as he'd made me.  He treated me like I was gold and was so giving to me.  I had my first child two years after we married and my second child in 2009.  During our marriage, I worked with a high profile company and had a really nice and stable income.  I was super wife and mom.  My life was so wrapped around my stbx and my kids that somehow I forgot about what I really wanted in life.  I didn't let myself go in appearance but I was in a trance in my marriage.  I was going through the motions.  I had major complications in the delivery of my second child and my husband asked me to stay home and take care of the kids while he worked.  I really didn't want to do it, but I loved him so much.  So while I stayed at home and took care of our kids, became the ultimate coach's, soccer mom and personal secretary and assistant for him he decided to cheat.  I found out about the affair in October 2010 and that's when he said he wanted a divorce and that he wasnt happy with me anymore.  Almost two years later, much drama added to the pot and he still hasn't divorced me yet.  He's always angry and upset with me.  He used to call me a bad wife and that use to really affect me, until I realized that I tried my best in our relationship and that while I wasn't perfect i never went outside our marriage.  i respected him too much.  i refused to let him blame me totally for the demise of our relationship.  So now he just calls me a bad mother to everyone.  I have taken care of our children by myself since he left me in 2010.  I was jujst recently awarded child support.  It took as so long because he fought it, telling the courts that I make enough by myself. 

To sum it all up, I have been through HELL.  I have survived and I am happy that I am finally moving on.  I know he is going to freak out when he gets served.  i actually sent it to the house that he lives in with the woman that he cheated on me with.  I didn't want to embarrass him at his place of employment.  I still have love for him, but it's not as deep as it was.  I wish him the best in life.  I am so excited about my future!

Tomeshalks Tomeshalks
31-35, F
3 Responses May 15, 2012

He is not really happy at this moment. I know this because just last month he cried and told me that he made the biggest mistake in his life and that he was sorry. He said his life was really crazy right now. I believe that he is sorry that he got caught and that is all. I'm really just happy to be finally getting a "piece of peace". I wish you the best also!

What an A-Hole! I wish you the best in your new life! You are much nicer than I am to wish him the best in life... I hope he gets fat , bald and shriveled! I am so sick of people who feel they have the right to play with peoples emotions

Please excuse the typos. I am new to the site and was super excited. Sorry all :)