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Im Very Very Sad

I guess there's no point in talking about how we started or even how we got to this point of divorce all I know is I wasted 5 years of my life with a person that drained me pushed me around ( physically) emotionally abused me and now he wants a divorce he Nvr really loved me he used me our entire relationship and now that hes got everything he wanted from me and my family so he ready to leave the girl he promised hed love foreverto be with his friends and live in the house I paid for us to grow in I dobt want to feel like this anymore I know I don't deserve to be treated the way i was but since he was my first love/lover and my only real friend (i thought) I don't know what to do :( I'm just feel like I'm drowning I don't sleep more the two hours my family thinks I'm doing great n my friends think this is no big deal but im scared and in a great deal of pain and I'm starting to feel numb I'm apologize If didn't do this story thing right
xwants2smile xwants2smile 22-25, F 3 Responses Jul 4, 2012

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Xwants2smile, join the club I meet my soul mate, my true first love at 19 we were married in 1993. 19 years later and she decides she no longer wants me but to have a partying life style, She is all I ever wanted in life, I wanted to grow old with her and have ruby and diamond wedding anniversary.<br />
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She has taken the house from me, my heart and she knows I wanted a family more than anything else... <br />
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I am not able to have children anymore as I had the op to save her doing it, so I will never have the family now, that I wanted. she has destroyed my dreams and she shows no emotions at all.<br />
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Everyone tells me it will get better, she vowed to love me in sickness and in health, but the moment I showed signs of mental health she ran off, till death do us part.

Hello there! I'm so very sorry that you're SAD, and it's not right and not fair. ((((hugs)))). The two previous ladies are right, that you deserve far better, and there's LIFE out there. Me, well my husband of 15 yrs has abandoned our marriage. It has been horrible, but I'm thankful for God's Grace, family, THERAPY, friends, and my job. We have no children, but my sweet little doggie has been great company to get me through. My number one advice, take the most devine care of yourself because your soul needs it. I'm planning a trip to Europe. &lt;3

Good for u i can't go to Europebut I'm planning a trip to new York for the ball drop I wish I could stop thinking about what I could have done you know what I mean

Awesome, New York!!! Yes, I know exactly what you mean...I struggle so bad with the what if's. I miss my husband so much, but this new person he's become I can not stand. Today was pretty rough but with God's Grace I made thru work. I pray your day went well, and the week flows nicely for you. ~Cheers

Wow. I have to say I am in almost same situation. My soon to be ex husband is a parasite. He treated me like crap during my 2nd pregnancy, while I worked two jobs, he has cheated, verbally and physically abused me. He couldnn't hold a job, been fired multiple times.The lists goes on and on.Unnreal that I put of with that. Not only is a parasite he is a master at manipulation, and that I realized after 9 years of marriage. It is pitiful, I say that to my self too, that I wasted so many of life. The only positive I can say is that from all this mess I have two beautiful children..... And one thing I can say is that I am not giving him the rest of my life! or "till death do us apart" . That is something you can say: you might of wasted 5 years but you are not giving him the rest of your life! Be strong!!