What A Process!!!Like you, I am getting a divorce. I am wondering how many people, like me, were completely caught off guard when their spouse said 'we are done' or in my case 'we need to spend time apart'. Like a dummy, I agreed to move out (this was in November) and stayed at my sisters place for 2 months. I'd come home every other weekend and 1 night a week to see my 3 young boys and she would go somewhere else (I soon discovered she was staying at a guy's place that she met before we seperated). After 2 months of this, I simply showed up one day and announced that I was moving back in. This got her really mad, so she took the 3 kids and moved out. After 2 months of that, she came back one day, completely beaten down, told me and her family and a bunch of friends how her boyfriend physically and mentally abused her, how they did "tons" of cocaine, and how horrible the relationship was. I was overjoyed to have her back! That was late March. After moving furniture and the boys back to our house, she decided within 2 weeks that she really wanted to be with this guy (same abusive boyfriend) and decided that she did not want to try and make our relationship work. Wow!!!! So now she has moved out, we've just about finalized everything with the divorce, and it kills me (mostly not to see the boys that much - I have the usual lousy Pennsylvania divorced father custody arrangement - every other weekend, one night a week, and a few other times thrown in). I pray for the safety of my boys and just can't believe a sane woman (with 3 small kids) would want to be around a man like that.
So here I am....looking for another outlet to share, discuss, vent, contribute. It has been a very hard road but have channeled much of my anger into the gym (I must admit I am in pretty good shape thanks to this!) and am to the point where I am ready to start dating again and just focus on my kids. I am 49 and have been successful in almost everything I have done, except for this marriage. If there is anyone who needs an ear or that I can help who is goingthrough this horrible process, you have a friend in me!! Have a great day.
hopeandstrength 46-50, M 7 Responses 2 Jul 6, 2012