Humorous Best Divorce Letter :)

(I did not make this letter up but a long time ago I found it online and loved it.. wanted to share this laugh with everyone :)]

Dear Wife:

I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you forever. I've been a good man to you for 7 years & I have nothing to show for it.
These last 2 weeks have been hell. Your boss called to tell me that you quit your job today & that was the last straw. Last week, you came home & didn't even notice I had a new haircut, had cooked your favorite meal & even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers. You ate in 2
minutes, & went straight to sleep after watching all of your soaps. You don't tell me you love me anymore; you don't want sex or anything that connects us as husband & wife. Either you're
cheating on me or you don't love me anymore; whatever! The case, I'm gone.

Your EX-Husband,

P.S. don't try!! To find me, Your SISTER & I are moving away to West Virginia together!
Have a great life!

Dear Ex-Husband

Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It's true you & I have been married for 7 years, although a good man is a far cry from what you've been. I watch my soaps so much because they drown out your constant whining & griping. Too bad that doesn't work.
I DID notice when you got a hair cut last week, but the first thing that came to mind was 'You look just like a girl!' Since my mother raised me not to say anything if you can't say something nice, I didn't comment. And when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me
confused with MY SISTER, because I stopped eating pork 7 years ago. About those new silk boxers: I turned away from you because the $49.99 price tag was still on them, and I prayed it was a coincidence that my sister had just borrowed $50 from me that morning After all of this, I still loved you & felt we could work it out. So when I hit the lotto for 10 million dollars, I quit my job and bought us two tickets to Jamaica, but when I got home you were gone. Everything happens for a reason, I guess. I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer said that the letter you wrote ensures you won't get a dime from me.
So take care.

Your Ex-Wife, Rich As Hell and Free at last!

P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this, but my sister Carla was born Carl. I hope that's not a problem.
wendysosa wendysosa
22-25, F
14 Responses Aug 4, 2012

Funny, I am posting this on my blog!

Lets keep it going like a wildfire! Lol :)

Oh my goodness...I was having a really bad day, cause my husband whom has called me out of my name a number of times for the last few days. Then informed me he is selling the house and moving out of state without me...after 15 years...ok.

whatttttt!? wow! what are you going to do?

I was have trouble with last log on I had to re-register, anyways... I have been going through all my stuff so I can thin out my move!? I'm not sure what I'm going to do...?

Actually the original letter was the man winning the Lottery. It works better. A man would not care if you noticed his hair or not.<br />
Sorry Ladies find your own jokes : )

i know it has two stories to it... but true a guy wouldn't care that's why i put this one up lol :)

lol that is wonderful. You gotta love karma, my ex and i split up because he was cheating on me and then 2 weeks later he calls to tell me that he can't take our son that weekend because he is pooping blood, i love karma, unfortunitly it was just internal hemroids but he did have to have a colonoscopy! Ill keep hoping karma bites him again, after all he put me through is prostate cancer asking too much??? I don't wish him dead or anything but if he could never have sex again it would make me smile!

lmao!!! this is funny! i dnt think wishing any bad on him will do anymore harm... karma itself is a *****! lol! :) but i will feel the same if i got cheated on...

I want this to be my story! Ha haaaaaa!!! Needed the laugh! Thanks:)

no prob :)

It's funny,this story. But i also learned things about...hmm...something like it's always better to think twice

Yeap, things happen for a reason but the dude was stupid. Lol....

Then why not go to Colorado?that's a good hidding spot,wonder if hot sexy lip star wars would live there?

lol! ok? i don't know who that is...


:) lol

LMAO! A good dose of humor to start another day of marriage....

:) lol

that gave me a laugh

Great story made me feel good. Good things do come to good people.

at least it happened before she told him she hit the lotto :)

It's all in the timing

:) yeap

Great writing with please stay in touch

okie dokie you too :)

2 More Responses

I needed this. :)


LOL .. Loved it! Made me smile a mile wide!

:) happy to hear that...

lool. omg wish that would actually happen to me :P

lol! :)