How Did It All Go Wrong So Quickly

I am 33 years old, living in my parents house for the past two weeks due to my marriage of 8 years breaking down. We were together for 10 years and despite there being some issues I have always adored him. 

3 weeks ago his father (due to retire in a few months) was demoted at work and we were always going to financially support them by moving them into a small property we have close by. However my husband started arguing that he wants them to live with us (we dont have space) and if we get on, we can have kids, alternatively he will choose his parents.... I am flabbergasted by all that has been going, most of our marriage has been sexless I assume he was shallow and hated that we both put on weight... But I still always loved him...he has always expected me to work ( but I never owned anything, could never say anything belonged to me, could never ask for a holiday - it was all his & whatever I had made his mother who has never worked extremely jealous). He also expected me to have no own friends, have his mothers hobbies and serve food on a plate for him despite having an almost equal salary to him...he didn't want to take any responsibility at home ever....

I got a new job with great maternity benefits and have lost weight and naively I thought we could be trying for kids now and this is what he does.....

He has rekindled his friendship with 2 guys - 1 of whom has cheated on his wife for 10 years and bough her a dog and is getting her to do ivf if she wants kids whilst only she works and does all at home as he has diabetes...
The other has 3 kids and is scared to argue with his wife in case she leaves him and takes the my husband says he doesn't want to end up like that

2 years ago I had an argument with husband and mil who left me at airport for 2 hours without my passport (she accompanied us on most holidays as she doesn't have a fgood relationship with her own husband) and I have now found nasty emails from his mom about me and my family 1 week after the event....- my husband cites this as a reason as he could have died of a heart attack on that day he says

Husband wanted me to move into our smaller property and maybe he would come and chase me again in 6 months he said....

He told my Dad 1 year ago he would divorce me if I diddnt support his parents (which I said I would do!!), he told his Dad 6 months ago he was unhappy, he got me a dog 3 months ago And he has been loosing weight and having cosmetic treatment, he wanted me to clear out the shed of mainly my things a while ago - has he been prepping himself to leave?

How can one be so deceptive and not tell me years ago he wasn't attracted to me or didn't want kids with me..?.

I moved out whilst he was away for days - I told him I would and he then text me to say he couldn't believe it-   Is it just that I foiled his grand plan..?

I am so devastated and the worst is I can't figure out what his plan was and how he can seriously believe - if only I had integrated better with his family, cooked more, liked his hobbies more, arranged a social life for him ( the couch potato) more....

Should I be thinking good riddance?

(btw not sure if my previous post ever went public)
Sadgirl121 Sadgirl121
31-35, F
1 Response Aug 16, 2012

I feel sad for you but it is good riddance..the guy who doesn't have a back bone to stand up for your wife doesn't deserve you..

Thank u very much - reading the message 1 year on seems so surreal that I lived such a surpressed life. Wish u well!