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I Am Getting a Divorce

i met him when i was 17 and fell madly in love.  little did i know his recreational drug use would turn to full blown addiction.  at 21 we were engaged, married at 22.  i had my doubts but pushed them away.  he always put his friends before me and i had no one else but him.  his drug usage went to the extreme while i was completely unaware.  once he finally confessed (after we got married) i felt like a complete idiot.  i hope we could pull through it but i lost all trust in him and respect for him and fell out of love.  i moved out on my own in january and am happier than i think i have ever been....and i'm only 24.
lennox lennox 21-25, F 28 Responses May 7, 2007

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I'm going through the same thing right now but I've been married for 14 years and have 4 kids involved he has stopped using for about 5 months then back to the same old habits. I don't know what to do

wow... Im a 19 years old boy, living a hard life... I kinda feel like I´m in your past. Im living on my own, my sister on 17 is having really big problems in her life and I don't know what to do to help her... could u help me? she's 17, got 2 kid on a age of three and two, she is dealing with drugs and is having a really hard life growing up with 2 kids.

Wow, that must have taken a lot of courage. I feel like I have lived and completed a whole life and I'm 26. Never thought I would be here.

cant you see if he will be responsible and go to rehab?who doe he love more you and your daughter, or drugs? IGUARENTEEif you leave without at least tryingto savehim from himself his drug use will only increase and he will feel as if you really didnt stick with him when it got really bad. He will feel worthless and that the drugs are the most loyal lover hes had. Hell be a husband to a pharmacy. Thats what happened when my husband left me because of my drug use.

i think i need advice from you now... please message me i am 18 years old and i feel like im your past!

your young yet girl im rolling towards 35 fast and i am desperate to be loved and have the love that all my female friends seem to have with there husbands, Divorce is nasty and I feel for you girl my ex was hurrendous to me, but life goes on and it will for you tooxx

This happend to me too, only I was 20 when I left, and I have a daughter (who is the best person in the whole world).

you have you whole life ahead of you. <br />
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well done for figuring it out so early

You did the right thing by leaving. You are still very young, with a chance for a fresh start. Hope you find the happiness you deserve.

I will like to start something new with you

Good for you. Good decision! I divorced my wife due to her problems, and afterward I wanted to put all women into negative categories...but I knew deep down, and learned to remember, that not all women are bad. I didn't want to do what many women have been accused of (becoming a male hater) and doing the reverse and becoming a woman hater. Whilst men can be protectors, and predators, there are also all kinds of in-between, and of good and bad. The same applies to women. <br />
<br />
Room

Damn good decision. Best of luck as you continue with your new lot on life :)

happy that you got out when you did but what Radiant said was very offensive. that is all I will say about that. This is about you and it has been a few years now hope your life is going well and wishing you all the best

Very glad you did the smart thing. I stayed from 13 to 28. I regret not leaving sooner. Maybe I would of been happier. What am I saying I know I would of been happier. Just like you. Bravo! Life gives you a barrel of smiles.

Once you have decided to divorce do not turn back. I know many people regret about it. Go a head, it is your personal freedom to do. Let your heart decide rather than your mind.

good luck! I am also more happier divorced than married!<br />
Go Girl! Promise that you will not rush into next relationship. At least for some time...

The sooner you get out, the sooner you can get on with the rest of your (better) life...

I applaud your strength and dignity, while at the same time, I wish him recovery, so he might regain his own!

I applaud your strength and dignity, while at the same time, I wish him recovery, so he might regain his own!

24 is YOUNG... and you've already learned a valuable life lesson... Take what you've learned, start a new life in a new direction! You'll make it just fine!! =D

Actually, it is good for you since you dont have to deal with his problem. You do not married too long and find out the truth. So it is time to start a new beginning. Wish you find a better one the next time.

Babaloo,<br />
<br />
To bad you got the "rare bird" who was predator to you. <br />
<br />
I am glad that you got out and are working on your life.<br />
<br />
R

Lennox good thing you got out while you are young I too hope you end up having a good and positive life. <br />
<br />
Radiant, your comment about men (Men are geared to be either predator or protector) can also be true of women. Predator/Protector is not a gender trait of men. It is a trait of humans period. I was married once and my wife fit your description of a predator...which I guess would have made me her prey.

Wow. What a user of you and others for the wole purpose of getting his "high". <br />
<br />
Girls, it seems that we just want to love and be loved. Where are the good men who just want the same?<br />
<br />
I expect we have to look in better places and not settle for something less than we know is right for us as individuals. <br />
<br />
Go girls, get it on with being yourselves and just loving life, and you will probably attract like-minded men. <br />
<br />
R

Good for you. It took me 10 years to finally move on with our children. I am so much happier now. My ex husband is still doing drugs, and will never give them up. The children ask why he chose drugs over them, and I can honestly say to my children, we can't help him, he needs to fight this on his own. <br />
<br />
If you ever need to talk, I am here. I never knew about my ex's drug habits till after we got married too, and it excalated. He never had time for us as his family, but if one of his friends called to ask for a favor, he was there!!! I will never forget after I had my daughter, I asked him to carry up the laundry basket from the laundry room for me, and he complained his back was sore, so I did it, even though I had just gotten home from the hospital. His friend called not even an hour later, asking for him to help move his couch down 2 flights of stairs, guess what??? His back was feeling much better and he could go do that, cause he was getting "paid" in drugs for helping!!!

That little part where you said you had your doubts but pushed them away...<br />
<br />
That was the TRUTH trying to make you stop and look befor leaping. <br />
<br />
Lexus has it right. Follow your instincts. <br />
<br />
Men are geared to be either predator or protector. <br />
<br />
The predator will act like he is sorry, hide things, promise to change just so that he can continue his "thing". That thing can be merely cozyness and sex, or it can be sinister like a need to dominate and abuse.<br />
<br />
Wether it is mild predatory actions to merely have cozyness and sex without committment, or full blown evil, THE POINT IS: your beauty, time, and life are wasted on a mere GAME. <br />
<br />
And if you bring a child into a sistuation where the man is not committed, you will have created another life of misery.<br />
<br />
You are young and live in a nation that grants freedom of choice. <br />
<br />
You have time to develope yourself and like your creation and love yourself. <br />
<br />
You have time to develope friendships with women who are accomplished. <br />
<br />
I have women friends who are M.D's, psychologists, teachers, nurses, opera singers, homemakers, artists,<br />
violinists, pianists, church leaders. <br />
<br />
I make every effort to meet with them, send them thank you notes, take them with me to events, ask them about their kids and pets and ENCOURAGE them. <br />
<br />
I am merely a spouse, mom, grandmother, and an RN.<br />
<br />
I realy RELY on them for frienship and affirmation, as much as from my spouse. <br />
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And THE TRUTH is that women should NEVER put all their needs and emotions into their husband. IT IS TO MUCH OF A BURDEN for the man. <br />
<br />
MEN are NOT created to understand us and fulflll us in EVERYTHING. They merely adore us and often get confused by us. <br />
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God gave us female friends who feel like we feel and who can truly help us. They are friends, sisters, extentions of family, and good sounding boards, and good truth speakers. <br />
<br />
DO NOT KEEP A RELATIONSHP with ANYONE who is manipulative, stupid, destructive, lying, stealing, or abusive. PERIOD.<br />
<br />
Drop any relationship that is made out of the need to rescue or to be resued. <br />
<br />
Good luck finishing who you want to be. <br />
<br />
R

I agree...you are still young and have the opportunity at a fresh start. <br />
<br />
Oh those decisions we make as teens....trust me...this I can relate to.<br />
<br />
Trust your instincts...they were right...they usually are.

Well it's better you got out now than continue this.