I Wonder Why I Stayed

I was worthless, stupid and I could never survive without him.  I was incompetent as a mother.  Everything I ever did was wrong and I heard it everyday.  Nothing was ever good enough no matter how hard I tried and I gave it my all.  Past experience has shown me how intelligent I am but why did I allow this man to break me down to nothing? 

I was not allowed to have friends, isolated from my family and persecuted because of people we saw in passing.  I lived in fear.  I always sensed when I was going to be hit and it started with emotional and verbal abuse.

I'm so happy to be free, independent, confident and happy. I am praying the divorce will be over soon.  Its been over a year in court.  He wants to manipulate the judicial system as he's always done me.

ichooselife ichooselife
36-40, F
13 Responses Jul 21, 2008

jb02157- wow. Sorry if you had a bad experience but, to have the nerve to yell at an abused woman for leaving an abusive situation!? You're an ignorant twit. Everybody has the right to protect themselves!

SuperMother, I did indeed find another man. He is very attentive, kind, thoughtful and its been almost three years since I walked away from the suffering I endured. <br />
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Thank you BlackKnight, I'm glad I stuck to my guns. He still tries even two and a half years later to come back. You never miss your water until your well runs dry.

jb02157, why don't you tell me how you really feel? You might be a little bitter in your comment here towards me. Its not uncommon for the wounded to lash out as you have here. All of you days need not be rainy. Try a little sunshine for a change. It isn't half bad.

total crap!! Women like you always cry abuse all the time when he never layed a hand on you. You are horrible and demonic like most women are.

everything about divorce seems to be hard.

i feel ya... I wish you the best of luck!

Wow, a female side of me. Taking the steps forward and cutting the string are easy, getting the other to except the new reality is so much harder.

Sounds like a page out of my life. Why is it as intelligent women we can allow ourselves to be used and abused, and how is it some of us only attract losers. <br />
There is nothing like finding your own happiness. So stay strong and above all be true yourself.

I know how you feel, my partner is exactly the same but I havent had the strength to walk away yet :(

is there a special suite in hell for men who are deadbeats?

had the same drama myself, dragging it out is a favorite tactic of deadbeats :(

He's missing the water from my well now thats for sure. The toy has found someone who truly loves and appreciates her.

simple you loved him but to him you were his toy