Register

I Am Getting a Divorce

I Wonder Why I Stayed

By: ichooselife
Written on July 21st, 2008

I was worthless, stupid and I could never survive without him.  I was incompetent as a mother.  Everything I ever did was wrong and I heard it everyday.  Nothing was ever good enough no matter how hard I tried and I gave it my all.  Past experience has shown me how intelligent I am but why did I allow this man to break me down to nothing? 

I was not allowed to have friends, isolated from my family and persecuted because of people we saw in passing.  I lived in fear.  I always sensed when I was going to be hit and it started with emotional and verbal abuse.

I'm so happy to be free, independent, confident and happy. I am praying the divorce will be over soon.  Its been over a year in court.  He wants to manipulate the judicial system as he's always done me.

By: ichooselife
Age: 36-40 , Female
1,151 people have read this story

Your Response

Please respond with authenticity, support, and respect
By clicking "Post", you confirm that you agree to the Terms of Service of Experience Project, Inc.
14 responses
  • mother1983
    mother1983

    sweet...

    Apr 2, 2011
    1 like
  • ichooselife
    ichooselife

    SuperMother, I did indeed find another man. He is very attentive, kind, thoughtful and its been almost three years since I walked away from the suffering I endured.



    Thank you BlackKnight, I'm glad I stuck to my guns. He still tries even two and a half years later to come back. You never miss your water until your well runs dry.

    Apr 2, 2011
    2 likes
  • mother1983
    mother1983

    awww..



    sorry.



    You are better without him. You can find another man.

    Apr 1, 2011
    1 like
  • ichooselife
    ichooselife

    jb02157, why don't you tell me how you really feel? You might be a little bitter in your comment here towards me. Its not uncommon for the wounded to lash out as you have here. All of you days need not be rainy. Try a little sunshine for a change. It isn't half bad.

    Apr 1, 2011
    2 likes
  • jb02157
    jb02157

    total crap!! Women like you always cry abuse all the time when he never layed a hand on you. You are horrible and demonic like most women are.

    Mar 31, 2011
    1 like
  • ichooselife
    ichooselife

    everything about divorce seems to be hard.

    Apr 27, 2009
    2 likes
  • Shierke
    Shierke

    i feel ya... I wish you the best of luck!

    Apr 27, 2009
    2 likes
  • loopnscc
    loopnscc

    Wow, a female side of me. Taking the steps forward and cutting the string are easy, getting the other to except the new reality is so much harder.

    Aug 12, 2008
    2 likes
  • strawberry1969
    strawberry1969

    Sounds like a page out of my life. Why is it as intelligent women we can allow ourselves to be used and abused, and how is it some of us only attract losers.

    There is nothing like finding your own happiness. So stay strong and above all be true yourself.

    Aug 12, 2008
    2 likes
  • blackmajick
    blackmajick

    I know how you feel, my partner is exactly the same but I havent had the strength to walk away yet :(

    Jul 23, 2008
    2 likes
  • ichooselife
    ichooselife

    is there a special suite in hell for men who are deadbeats?

    Jul 23, 2008
    2 likes
  • Massconfusion
    Massconfusion

    had the same drama myself, dragging it out is a favorite tactic of deadbeats :(

    Jul 22, 2008
    2 likes
  • ichooselife
    ichooselife

    He's missing the water from my well now thats for sure. The toy has found someone who truly loves and appreciates her.

    Jul 22, 2008
    2 likes
  • wordman
    wordman

    simple you loved him but to him you were his toy

    Jul 22, 2008
    2 likes