My Story

I was married for 14 years. We've been separated now for 4 months. In that time, I've discovered that I'm a completely different person when she's not around. I'm happier. I'm more open. I enjoy life. With her illnesses, which consists of schizophrenia, manic depression, suicidal thoughts, etc, I found that they were affecting me and our son, as well. The last straw came when I was called to the emergency room, yet again, because she'd tried to kill herself. After leaving the hospital that night, I got to thinking... what would have happened if she had succeeded, and our 14 year old son had come home from school and found his mom, dead in the house. He would have been devastated, and it would have affected him for the rest of his life. So I made the decision to take him out of that environment. She's getting the help she needs, has steadily been taking her meds and seeing her therapist on a regular basis, and is doing a lot better. I think that by my leaving, she was able to see what she had to lose. Mainly because, well, she just lost it. We talk on the phone, text daily, and I'm at the point where I trust her with him for the weekend every other week. We live 25 miles away from each other, so we meet half way. I'm not making her pay child support, because she has financial problems of her own. She makes comments all the time about us getting back together now that she's better. I, however, have no intentions of putting myself back in that situation. I did not like who I had become because of her. Now, I am a completely different person. I actually look forward to going to work. I look forward to coming home. I get out of the house when I can and DO stuff that I enjoy. I'm looking forward to the day when we get our tax refund, the last as a married couple, so that I can afford to hire a divorce attorney.
FlaGuy71 FlaGuy71
46-50, M
5 Responses Dec 4, 2012

Life is too short to live in misery. You do what is best for YOU and your CHILD.

Well, taxes have been filed. Up to 21 days and I can get this over with. :D

I'm sorry for your pain. Sometimes the best way to deal with someone with mental illness is to remove yourself from the situation after all else has failed. Congrats on your and your son's new start!

You're lucky you were able to get your son out of that situation. My ex and I are still married because of legal nonsense, and she played the old domestic violence game with me when it was actually her committing the violence. A neighbor called the police when they saw her hit me and guess who was asked to leave the home and everything he paid for? So like I said you're very lucky to have gotten your son out of that situation. It's usually the man who gets the raw deal.

I consider myself lucky, as well. When it's time to file for divorce, I have no doubt in my mind that I will be awarded custody, and the lawyer says I can sue her for alimony, too, because the entire time we were married, she always made more money than I did. Mainly because she was active duty military and I had to take part time jobs to follow her half way around the Earth and back. It helps that the last time she was in the hospital, the Doctors Baker-Acted her. So she's in the system now.

let her die... death is relief... the only thing prevents her seems her son. she loves him so much

let her die? nice.