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I Am Getting a Divorce

Recently Separated - Trying To Take The High Road But It's Sooooo Tough!!!!

By: dddeb
Written on January 12th, 2013

 

My husband recently told me that he wants a divorce. We have been married for over 20 years. He dropped the bomb right before Christmas, which was pretty rotten timing for the kids and I. The timing also really sucks because I've been having serious health issues. Many of our friends have said that they really hope that he changes his mind and at first I also hoped for a reconciliation. Now, I don’t want to be with someone who would leave me when I needed him the most. I totally lost respect for him. I have been trying to handle things in a nice way, for the sake of my kids not my ex, but inside I feel very resentful that he can just walk away so easily. I've always tried not to say negative things about my ex to others but it’s getting harder and harder to take the high road. It kills me that he has everything so easy and I am just plain terrified. Sometimes I really wish I believed in karma. :)

Any helpful suggestions or comments out there on how to get through this disaster in one piece would be greatly appreciated!

By: dddeb
Age: 41-45
302 people have read this story

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9 responses
  • justsomeone2
    justsomeone2

    Of course it's brutal - and I talk from personal experience too. It feels like a death. Ultimately though it's not worth being with someone who would let you down exactly when you need support and has the bad taste to ruin Christmas. You really deserve better.

    Feb 10
    2 likes
    • dddeb
      dddeb

      Thanks so much!!! It's so great to hear from other people who can relate. I never realized divorce that it would be so tough. I hope things are going better for you now.

      Feb 11
      1 like
    • justsomeone2
      justsomeone2

      Thank you. Only those who have been are or going through this can really understand, can't they? I really wish you the best and I am with you..

      Feb 11
      1 like
  • faith7777
    faith7777

    ...I know how you feel... my marriage ended just after Christmas...it is harder on the kids... take you time....would be my advise...and read..there are some really good books out there, I always choose uplifting things.. christian things at that....can't explain it but it really does help. " The Necessity of an Enemy" is great read. Just reminds you the greater the battle the greater your purpose.....also beauty for ashes... one I think every women whos been thru this should read....it helps...knowing your not the only one. Your emotions will change day to day so don't trust them....instead stay busy focus on your kids and work...let time help you make the righ choice.....

    Jan 13
    2 likes
    • dddeb
      dddeb

      Thanks Faith! It really does help to know that there are so many other women going through the same thing. I find this website is also therapeutic. It's kind of like a support group. I will see if I can find any of the books you mentioned.
      Thanks so much for your message!

      Jan 13
      1 like
  • m00nmeister
    m00nmeister

    Take the high road is the most noble thing, but it isn't the easiest. I don't talk as much about my own circumstances anymore, but while I don't go out of my way to run her down to others, I also don't sugar coat what she's done to me. Going forward, I wish you only the best. I was tossed to the curb almost seven months ago, and I'm still spitting out dirt, but they tell me that it's going to get better. I'm just taking it one day at a time in the hopes that they're right.

    Jan 13
    2 likes
    • dddeb
      dddeb

      Thanks Moon. I never realized that this was going to be so tough. And for so long! Some people are still having trouble after 2 years! I guess it's something that you never completely get over but I hope it gets easier for you soon. Thanks for your comment!!!

      Jan 13
      1 like
  • lonelyonthemountain
    lonelyonthemountain

    Take the high road. Everyone around you will see him for who he is and you for who you are. Especially the children. By the way, thanks for the comment on my story it really helps to share with people on here since I have no family left and no friends living close by.

    Jan 12
    2 likes
    • dddeb
      dddeb

      Thanks so much mountain guy! Posting on this site does help seem to help a bit. Having no family or nearby friends would make things even more tough. I hope you find some support somewhere.

      Jan 12
      1 like