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Recently Separated - Trying To Take The High Road But It's Sooooo Tough!!!!

 

My husband recently told me that he wants a divorce. We have been married for over 20 years. He dropped the bomb right before Christmas, which was pretty rotten timing for the kids and I. The timing also really sucks because I've been having serious health issues. Many of our friends have said that they really hope that he changes his mind and at first I also hoped for a reconciliation. Now, I don’t want to be with someone who would leave me when I needed him the most. I totally lost respect for him. I have been trying to handle things in a nice way, for the sake of my kids not my ex, but inside I feel very resentful that he can just walk away so easily. I've always tried not to say negative things about my ex to others but it’s getting harder and harder to take the high road. It kills me that he has everything so easy and I am just plain terrified. Sometimes I really wish I believed in karma. :)

Any helpful suggestions or comments out there on how to get through this disaster in one piece would be greatly appreciated!

dddeb dddeb 41-45 3 Responses Jan 12, 2013

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<p>...I know how you feel... my marriage ended just after Christmas...it is harder on the kids... take you time....would be my advise...and read..there are some really good books out there, I always choose uplifting things.. christian things at that....can't explain it but it really does help. " The Necessity of an Enemy" is great read. Just reminds you the greater the battle the greater your purpose.....also beauty for ashes... one I think every women whos been thru this should read....it helps...knowing your not the only one. Your emotions will change day to day so don't trust them....instead stay busy focus on your kids and work...let time help you make the righ choice.....

Thanks Faith! It really does help to know that there are so many other women going through the same thing. I find this website is also therapeutic. It's kind of like a support group. I will see if I can find any of the books you mentioned.
Thanks so much for your message!

Take the high road is the most noble thing, but it isn't the easiest. I don't talk as much about my own circumstances anymore, but while I don't go out of my way to run her down to others, I also don't sugar coat what she's done to me. Going forward, I wish you only the best. I was tossed to the curb almost seven months ago, and I'm still spitting out dirt, but they tell me that it's going to get better. I'm just taking it one day at a time in the hopes that they're right.

Thanks Moon. I never realized that this was going to be so tough. And for so long! Some people are still having trouble after 2 years! I guess it's something that you never completely get over but I hope it gets easier for you soon. Thanks for your comment!!!

Take the high road. Everyone around you will see him for who he is and you for who you are. Especially the children. By the way, thanks for the comment on my story it really helps to share with people on here since I have no family left and no friends living close by.

Thanks so much mountain guy! Posting on this site does help seem to help a bit. Having no family or nearby friends would make things even more tough. I hope you find some support somewhere.