I Am Getting a Divorce
Just saying the word divorce leaves a bad taste in ones mouth, doesn't it? My impending divorce has been inevitable for (3!) years now and the reality of the situation is still eluding me I think.
We met in high school, and pretty much stayed together for 17 years. Of course it took 5-6 years before the reality of her mental illness became apparent. She is Bipolar which, by itself, isn't unmanageable. However, add in BPD, and many unresolved issues from her past and the rapid cycling Bipolar phases are soul crushing to those few who are still around to care. Through the hospitalizations, the psychotic breaks, the births and lives of children, I stuck around. Ironically, I question whether it was love for her, or just pride (the bad kind) that kept me hanging on to the notion things would work out.
I'm not sure how long I'd been silently suffering, or, believe it or not, even how much pain I'm still in-The dangers of compartmentalizing I suppose. She had her worst manic phase in 2010, this time there were drugs, who knows how many other men, abortions, a year with NO contact with the kids or myself. This was when I realized I needed out. At any cost I had to save myself.
The price I paid, and will continue to pay is so high... There is no way to effectively fight someone who just wants to hurt you...
We met in high school, and pretty much stayed together for 17 years. Of course it took 5-6 years before the reality of her mental illness became apparent. She is Bipolar which, by itself, isn't unmanageable. However, add in BPD, and many unresolved issues from her past and the rapid cycling Bipolar phases are soul crushing to those few who are still around to care. Through the hospitalizations, the psychotic breaks, the births and lives of children, I stuck around. Ironically, I question whether it was love for her, or just pride (the bad kind) that kept me hanging on to the notion things would work out.
I'm not sure how long I'd been silently suffering, or, believe it or not, even how much pain I'm still in-The dangers of compartmentalizing I suppose. She had her worst manic phase in 2010, this time there were drugs, who knows how many other men, abortions, a year with NO contact with the kids or myself. This was when I realized I needed out. At any cost I had to save myself.
The price I paid, and will continue to pay is so high... There is no way to effectively fight someone who just wants to hurt you...
By:
Sbgf225
Age:
31-35
,
Male
