So, Divorce...

Just saying the word divorce leaves a bad taste in ones mouth, doesn't it? My impending divorce has been inevitable for (3!) years now and the reality of the situation is still eluding me I think.
We met in high school, and pretty much stayed together for 17 years. Of course it took 5-6 years before the reality of her mental illness became apparent. She is Bipolar which, by itself, isn't unmanageable. However, add in BPD, and many unresolved issues from her past and the rapid cycling Bipolar phases are soul crushing to those few who are still around to care. Through the hospitalizations, the psychotic breaks, the births and lives of children, I stuck around. Ironically, I question whether it was love for her, or just pride (the bad kind) that kept me hanging on to the notion things would work out.
I'm not sure how long I'd been silently suffering, or, believe it or not, even how much pain I'm still in-The dangers of compartmentalizing I suppose. She had her worst manic phase in 2010, this time there were drugs, who knows how many other men, abortions, a year with NO contact with the kids or myself. This was when I realized I needed out. At any cost I had to save myself.
The price I paid, and will continue to pay is so high... There is no way to effectively fight someone who just wants to hurt you...
Sbgf225 Sbgf225
31-35, M
6 Responses Jan 15, 2013

I think this story may have been where I started to fall for you. I guess it's a good thing for you that I'm strange.....

Indeed. What doesn't kill you, makes you....stranger...

Sometimes it takes us a long time to realize wot we have to do for our own good! Sometimes its pride stopping us sometimes its fear. But once we make the decision we can start putting ourselfs back together! Oh and not all us women are so bad lol ;-) x

The biggest irony, for me, is how many awesome women I've met since I 'checked out'. Thanks for your kind thoughts! :)

Your welcome :-) Im still waitin to be convinced that I can pick a bloke who aint an *** lol x

We're out there, trust me. Just be willing to pounce when ya find one :) Many women wait for 'Prince Charming'...(he doesn't exist the way many wish he did)

Ohh im not disillusioned i know the perfect man dont exsist lol ...a semi perfect one will do! X :-)

1 More Response

Im sorry for that friend. Why is it that women with mental issues latch onto the good men? Anyway I hope you are able to love again and let love find you. :)

:) ..you know what in general what i have realised..people have invented diseases..like bipolar the typical one..we all are bipolar to an extent.. i dont know about ur situation exactly..while woman goes through child birth and stuff and becomes a mum..lotta hormonal changes cause disturbances...lotta issues are raised in her mind for self-esteem..for individuality when the things dont happen at right time..her expectations overrule her.. i mean there are n number of feelings..so in such case woman is more dramatic lol!..than a man.. because men take it one by one... and not so much panic in their case... so generally speaking most of the women are driven by it...

divorce majorly happens because of lack of compatibility..patience..understanding...insecurity..uncertainity... when u take each other for granted...lack of responsibility..and ofcrs every relation needs maintainence..even ur car needs it..i also am going through it...

everythin else is highlited...and once it is broken..it can never be fixed..no matter how much you try...!..

Ahh. I love hearing wisdom especially when delivered from someone younger than myself. Thanks =D

no i just am riding the wave lol! age is just a number

and my husband was a way more elder to u sbggf225 lmao!..so u r nothin

Sorry about your situation. I have been married 10 years to my high school sweetheart and recently separated. It is a hard decision to finally decide on divorce.

Yes, there is. SUCCESS is the best revenge, babe! Showing her (and yourself) that while you are damaged you are not broken, rising like a phoenix from the ashes of a doomed relationship is going to be the most exhilerating feeling you have ever felt! Develeping self love after years of self loathing is amazing... we are in the same predicament (sort of)....shall we ride together?

I can dig it!

I love this comment. It is so inspiring.