He Says He Wants Out Just My Thoughts My Confussion

where does one begin? We've been married 30 years come April. We have had our problems. But i never thought it would ever end. I have been a home maker most of those years. I'm thankful our boys are grown. How does one learn to be on their own after they are 50 years old. He had me move out of our home that we just bought . i know i cant afford to make the payments so i left. wishing i didn't now. I have no home it's an awful feeling to have no place of your own. I know i made mistakes , but never thought id be homeless. jobless, no skills. i have no idea how to get through this. He was always my rock . He says he wants to be fair, to split everything 50/50. How do you divide your life. The things you shared for so many years. He wants to stay friends but have new lives. Im not a confident person. The tears, the shakes, the depression. They take over so often. People tell me to be strong stand up for myself. He says to be happy find my happiness. I dont have a clue how to do that. I did what he wanted never thought of what i wanted. i've been seperated since october and still havent figured out how to find happiness. He has moved on. goes out always busy. Does what i wanted us to do together. Why can't God just let me die. He has bought his toys snowmobiles hot rod, guns, motor cycle. i have to sell my truck because i cant make the payments. i dont know if he is keeping the toys or selling them. I'm so tired of the pain. He wants to not involve attorneys. I don't know what to do
61dragonfly 61dragonfly
51-55, F
9 Responses Jan 16, 2013

Hi There,

I am in a similar situation. Married 23 years and found out my husband was seeing prostitutes. Now he has a girlfriend and we are divorcing

Please, please, get yourself an attorney. If you can't afford one, you can go to legal aid. You need to protect yourself ~ do not believe ANYTHING that they tell you. He left you high and dry. You raised the kids, took care of the famiy , house, him and you cannot support yourself.

You are entitled to spousal support during the time that you are separated and probably alimony after your divorce.

ALso, you need a professional counselor to help you through this. Friends are great but, this is very emotionally wounding stuff and you need to process it so that you can get through it.

Hang in there. I know that you probably love your husband and are very hurt and in pain but, you really need to look after yourself ~ physically, emotionally and LEGALLY

Good Luck!

we can use the other way ok?

yes

I did you should have it

i did

I will.

thanks.

you can message me anytime too.

I am so proud of you. I would happy to talk any time I can to listen.:) No I am not a freak, just trying to be nice

that would be nice a friend on here is what got me through some times when i wanted to put an end to my life. so i like to have friends who can listen . you must tell me about you too.

I understand that he may be a good person. But once he leaves you will need some monetary help to get back on your feet. Unforutenetly it is a slow process

yes i know im not looking forward to it. I have been very spoiled. He took very good care of me and our boys. Im still seeking out housing and employment . Jobs are hard to find now . Thanks again.

Oh sweetie those toys, his vehicle he took are marital property the belong to you as much as him. Lock ever thing down change all the locks , lock up shed garage put up surveillance cameras to watch every thing outside. also any pension and/or retirement plans you get half.
Don't know what state you live in. Glad to see you are getting a lawyer! He doesn't want you to get one so he can screw you over.

He lives in our house. He is a good man just cant live with my depression anymore and he knows he has issues too. He is letting me have what ever i want. All i have to do is decide. I dont want anyone to think he is bad. He gave so much in our 32 total years together. I love him so much. thanks for caring every one tell me the same thing.

You sound so much like me in some ways. I do feel your pain. I'm dealing with my own as well.

Please please please talk to an attorney. I too am going thru a divorce. Married 22 years together a total of 28....I am lost, sad, angry and mentally and emotionally exhausted. My family and friends and work is keeping me together. please if you do anything protect your future get an attorney. Hang in there. You will have good days and really bad days. Try to do something for YOU. Talk to your friends, you'll feel better. Even if its only temporary....hugs to you!

thanks so much i do plan to get one i just have no money to do anything . we have been together since 1981 its been along time . im staying with a friend right now too. i do talk to my friends alot and family