No Screwing, Or No Screwdriver?

Know what I miss most about having my husband around? It isn't the companionship, sex, or intimacy. There was so little of all three for so long that I felt alone already--maybe more alone with him here. He never helped much with the household things like cooking, or dishes, or laundry. I didn't much care. He didn't fulfill me (or even try to) sexually, emotionally, intellectually, and intimately,...but he did fix stuff.

Call me sexist, I don't give a ****. I don't own tools, I don't know how to fix a leaky sink, or what to do if the dryer isn't drying the clothes like it should. I used to know what to do--tell him. No matter what it was, I'd tell him the sink was draining slowly, or something sounded funny in the washing machine, and that was that. He fixed it, or he did what needed to be done to get things right. I miss that terribly.

There I was this morning, trying to vacuum the rug and I realize the vacuum isn't picking up like it should. Normally, I'd ask hubby to have a look and make it work, but...I have no husband.  No screwdriver either, I realized. I had one of those itty bitty screwdrivers, that is the only tool I own. It took me 20 minutes to remove 5 screws. Oh, and as a bonus I stabbed myself in the palm with the sharp little son of a *****.

OK, fine. So I need to quit being such a "woman" and take care of things myself. I know that. I have no man to count on anymore to do all the man stuff. SO what if that isn't politically correct, I don't care. It is how things operated in my life for the last 11 years (and before that i had my daddy) and this is new.

I'm going to Home Depot. I have to at least have a screwdriver and a hammer.

autimom autimom
31-35, F
26 Responses Feb 21, 2009

You are woman hear you roar! You will adapt as all women do, that's why you are the better sex.

I'll admit it. I have no real interest in learning how to handle most household repairs. <br />
<br />
I need a nice, handy male friend. Still--I need the basic tools so I can remove a damn screw or hang a picture. I'm not completely helpless.

The answer AM, is a house husband. You can buy them anywhere from cheap to expensive. Let your fingers do the walkin thru the yellow pages.<br />
<br />
Or you can go the other route, and become self-sufficient. . . LOL<br />
<br />
Hope you are doing well.<br />
<br />
Love and hugs<br />

Well Rick, the "no screwing" was a huge part of the problem. I'd rather figure out how to handle a screwdriver then have to live without sex and intimacy. No question about it!

everytime i see the title of this story i think it sounds like an ultimatum a woman would give her alcoholic husband LOL

Thanks for the tips and the support, everyone. I so appreciate it.<br />
<br />
The silly thing is, my dad is a master carpenter. I just never paid attention. I'm a dope. He is going to help me get together the basics.

Ah good! looking for some basic classes would have been my suggestion but I wasn't sure if things like that existed. <br />
<br />
Now for me, my first line of attack is always the Swiss Army Knife. I have the smallest one that carries an end-mounted Phillips screwdriver (the other option is a Phillips in place of a corkscrew--I don't need a corkscrew, but that gives you a T-shaped tool that doesn't fit everywhere.) That seems to handle about 90% of my problems around the house. Most of the rest needs a hammer, and when neither of those tools is the right one, it's usually time to call the plumber or the electrician. :)<br />
<br />
I'm sorry that you're having this sort of problem too, but you're obviously already a demonstrated survivor with outstanding coping skills, and you'll get through this.

Home Depot doesn't have inferior tools. They do have little classes that take about 30 minutes on the weekends that show you how to do little things for yourself at home. Also, if you ask some of the sales associates, most will be more than happy to explain how to do things. I was lucky, my dad was a handyman around the house. I learned how to do most basic things by watching and learning from him. <br />
<br />
I'm sorry you're going through this. To be upset about going through a divorce is bad enough without having to sweat the other stuff. I wish you the best!<br />

Magnetic screwdriver or bits for one is good. That way the screw pretty much always stays attached.<br />
<br />
For hammering there use to be a little plastic thingy that would hold the nail (and your hand/fingers are out of the way) straight so you'd mash it instead of a finger.

botable--If the other needs were being met, I think I'd learn just like you are.

Been there doing that. My situation a little different. I am married but Mr. Wonderful is slightly disabled( Doesn't walk well and can't stand for any length of time and sure as hell can't get on the floor and back up) So I have taken on duties never done before. I too did significant damage to my body in the beginning with hammers, screwdrivers and a whole other story fixing the toilet but I did also get a bit of satisfaction when I got it right. <br />
Mr Wonderful may not do the honey do's any longer but he is there for me in every other way.

Call your brother or father . They most likely have thousands of dollars of tools and still growing I'm sure they'll be more happy to help .I have three ladders and every power tool conceivable , all brand new and shiny . For what reason , just have them in case some one needs to borrow them . So borrow them .

You know now that I think about it, he could have left me some damn tools. I refuse to call him and ask him to fix a thing. He'd love telling me that wasn't his job anymore.

Go to Family Dollar Store or something like that.<br />
You can get a small set for a lot less money.

Maybe pick up some work gloves to prevent that from happening in the future.... the list of items grows and grows...

Maybe a hand ache. That damn little screwdriver did a number on me. I was so frustrated, I actually cried. But it is already well documented that I am a huge crybaby.

Like I said, get a small set. Or like you said, get a man. But the set of tools doesn't come with guaranteed headaches :P

Oh, man...the list grows. Maybe it would just be easier to get another man? Probably not, if he is handy and fills all of my other requirements.

You might want to get a pair of pliers too. : )

I gotta get some tools. It is pathetic to be so helpless.

Oh man I hear you! I am in the same spot. I did recently get a pink tool set and proudly showed my kids the new pink hammer. (they had made fun of me when I used a meat tenderizer to get nails in the wall when we were hanging pictures) Another thing we need - a power drill. Those really come in handy. You feel like a real woman using that thing.

Thanks, Rick. I do need advice here. <br />
<br />
I can change a poopy diaper in 3 minutes flat, dig boogers out of a squirming childs nose, remove red kool-aid stains from the carpet. I can bone and roll a duck and cook it to perfection. The list is endless. However, 5 screws and I'm helpless.

I'm not a tool guy, either, but I'd recommend buying one of those tool sets that come with all your basic tools (hammer, screwdriver set, pliers, wrench, measuring tape, level, etc) This set of tools was less than $50 and we've used them an untold amount of times. The set is about the size of a tiny briefcase and its just convenient as hell. Once you start handling some things on your own, you'll be glad you bought a set of things all at once so you don't have to keep going to home depot every time you need another tool for something.

You need an FWT. A friend with tools.

get an adjustable wrench too

Ohhhh. Pink. I didn't know they came in pink. This is more interesting already.