What was that moment when you realized and it was clear that you absolutely wanted a divorce?

Before it happened did you struggle with if you were still in love or loved that person?
kathryn30 kathryn30
31-35, F
3 Responses Aug 23, 2014

He came home late and this has been happening for years. Drunk again! My 12 year old son was waiting up for him because he was leaving for a trip. The sadness I saw in his eyes that night I just knew this was a toxic relationship. He was in rehab in 2010 for coke and in April I found out that he was using again. Didn't find out for sure, but heard rumors. I had a few people approach me. Was telling people that he wasn't married at his job site. All these things and it took me seeing my son's eyes. I hate drugs! Its ruins not just the users life, but everyone in that families life! UGGGG.

I'm so sorry you had to experience that. :( thank you for sharing it with me

I'm struggling now. I caught my husband having and affair 2 years ago. 1 year ago I told him I was divorcing him because he continued to talk to the other woman. He said all the right things and begged me to stay ... I gave it another shot. My final straw was a few months ago I discovered he's still talking to her . I knew I couldn't do this for my life. He now has a different 'GF' and I caught him changing flights for a work trip in order to spend time with her . That was the final breaking point. he doesn't even try to hide the affair this time. But I struggle. I still love him. 11.5 years of marriage and 4 kids.... It's hard to give up non that ... I know I am doing the best thing and that I have it every chance I could have, but it's still a struggle. It's hard to be the lonely one when your husband has a new woman.

Sorry to hear about your troubles but concider this even if he stopped having affairs and stay with you could you ever truly trust him how would you feel when he s away on business and how you mind would be wondering if he s up to his old tricks. He ll think I can do it again cos you let him off before. Getting a divorce might hurt and yeah he might be with some one else but for how long till he does the dirty on her. Once a cheater always a cheater. You deserve better and once you have got back on your feet you ll find some one that loves you n only you and you ll feel a lot better and happier.

I agree completely. Because I have given him numerous chances. He travels a lot and it's always on the back of mind. It will hurt ( it does) there are good days and bad days ... I know this is the best option for me and my kids too. And I will be better happier and stronger in the long run. This post caught me on a bad day. And I get pretty ticked off with "other women" because of the devastation I have gone through.

What doesn't kill us only makes us stronger and anyways men are so complicated confusing and so no worth crying over n I am man so I know it's true lmao

My moment was almost 2 years before i actually left. He said something so hurtful to me that i knew i could never stay with him for the rest of my life.
I struggled with the realization that my life with him wasn't healthy...like i said before, it was a couple of years.I finally realized i didn't want my kids looking at our marriage and thinking it was good...otherwise i'd be doing them a great injustice. That was what spurred me to leave.

What did he say?

He turned what was a special time for my family(my sister's wedding) ugly by telling me i must not love our children because i dared to spend a few hours with my mom and sister the day before the wedding. He also made the wedding day miserable by calling and yelling at me the entire time( i was the matron of honor). He made me cry in the parking lot at the reception. It was humiliating. He had done other hurtful things here and there but that was the worst. He killed my love for him that day.

Thanks for the reply. I am not owed an explanation, just curious.

I'm so sorry! I had many special days turned miserable by my soon to be ex too. Its just selfish behavior on their part. I'm sorry!

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