I am so angry all the time at everyone for everything. My marriage ended before it began, he cheated numerous times before we got married, but funny thing,that's not the reason why I gave up. Over the years we grew apart and his selfish ways became unbearable. Knowing this marriage was doomed from the start, I can't understand why I'm angry. I think part of it is I did love him, not the in love , passion stuff, but more of the upgrade his life type, always be there for him type of love. I'm just realizing he never loved me, not the "in love" type or even the "care if I live or die" type of love, and this really hurts. To have spent a large part of my life loving someone who never loved me at all, sucks. Now until I move next month I have to look at him going on about his daily routine without so much as a hiccup. I see why people snap and commit horrible acts. I am too intelligent to hand him what little of my life I have left, so no worries I'm not going to injure or kill him. ( but I have new found sympathy for those not as strong)
Letgowithgrace Letgowithgrace
41-45, F
2 Responses Sep 1, 2014

Some people only care for themselves. It is hard for a giving person to comprehend that. He liked what you offered plus what he can reach out and get in addition. If you see him as his true self you will stop loving the image you created for him. If he had any emotions for you he wouldn't have opted to hurt you repeatedly by cheating. Good luck. You made the right decision.

I am starting to see that this is very typical behaviour of the"cheater". I sympathize with all of you. My husband was a very good husband but since his affair with my friend he seems to think of no one but himself. I have been with him for 25 years and it is shocking how he can discredit our past like it didn't exist. We are in the middle of a separation and he has so much anger towards me and he had the affair!!!!!!!

I relate so much to your comment. Even small things like disrespectful banter with our mutual friends on social media sites sends me into a rage. I have deleted our mutual friends on FB to avoid having yet another issue to be angry about. I can't comprehend disrespect in any way. I was taught respect is due a dog! I know there is no love here but damn I can't even get the common courtesy of respect?! It boggles my mind!

I'm so sorry :-( I do understand. I'm in the process of divorcing my husband of almost 12 years - cheating and lies for the past 2. We still live together and I feel the same way. He doesn't miss a beat. He has the girlfriend on the side but still expects me to take care of everything like normal. He plays guitar and sings songs that he write for me and records them and sends them to the girl friend. I cannot understand how he can do it.... With no feeling. To be completely disconnected even from our past. I guess some people have the ability to disconnect or a lack of humanity .... Focus on you. Find the positives and when you have a bad day ( I had a bad day today) go shopping ;) I'm here if you need a friend.

Thank you kittycat007, for your support. I just can't comprehend the lack of emotion. I am looking forward to moving, I don't feel at home in my own home. My only bright spot at this point is the thought of a better future. I hope you too are looking toward the future while letting go of the past, even if it's in tiny pieces.

I look forward to his moving . I have 4 kids and we are not moving, but I understand not feeling at home with him there. He sucks the joy out of a room. I cannot fathom how he functions without show of emotion . I have my kids , I just started a new career, I embrace the future:) and letting go of the past a tiny piece at a time ! I like that ! Do keep in touch grace! On good days and bad;) we will have brighter futures

Lol my STBEX sucks the life out of the house let alone a room. I laugh because I envisioned those things in the Harry Potter series the Dementors- they drain the life out of all they come in contact with...that's him! Lol that felt good to laugh again!

You mentioned starting a new career. Were you a stay at home mom? I am, and am also in the beginning stages of a divorce. I am also getting started in a career and am terrified of the changes. I was just curious how it has all been for you if you were at home previously. How are your kids doing? (We have 2.)

Yes. Stay at home mom for 10 years. New start. I just started as a real estate agent 2 weeks ago. Can't wait for the divorce process to be done! We unfortunately still live together... He travels often so that helps. He needs to move out. We have 4 kids... We haven't say down with them. I want to have the answers like where he's moving , when they will see him etc before we talk with them. The visitation isn't going to be adjustment for them ... He's gone so much. Good luck to you. This is not a fun process but there are so many going through it..... We will be ok:) I'm here if you need a friend!

Funny! I'm also ready to sit for my real estate exam, living with my gem of a cheater husband, and he travels for work. If you ever have time/are interested I would love for you to message me about how things are going for you with work/kids/home life. I'm shaking just thinking about not being at home anymore with the kids. :)

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