The Hurt and Healing of Divorce

I wish I had somebody to hold me tight, telling me it’s ok to feel the hurt, to be held tightly in somebody’s arms feeling safe, assuring me that he’ll never allow something like this to happen to me ever again.  The shame of being ssaulted by my nearly ex husband and his lover, the unfaithfullness, lies, deceit after 19 years of caring for him and the children.

I worked hard, fixed everything around the house, looked after the children alone.  Why?  Because he worked long hours.  Wow what a surprise!!!!

Yes, God is here for me everyday, but everyone needs the warmth of human touch, the words ” Yes, I understand, it’s going to be ok, I’ll be here for you”

The hurt will pass.  When I left, half of me stayed behind.  It was torn from me and I need my half back so that I can be whole again. I don’t hate him, I only hate what he did to me. 

I lost everything, my family, my future even my son and the friends I had. Thank God I’ve still got my daughter.  Praise and thanks to God for being with me everyday, for loving me for who I am, for accepting me for who I am, for teaching me His will and His word.  I was a christian on my way to hell and now I know I’ve been saved.  Thank You God for teaching me forgiveness, love & patience. Thank You for the new friends that crossed my path.  Some stayed, some moved on.  I suppose they fulfilled their purpose.  Thank You for everybody that helped me morally, financially and just for being there.

Will I ever be able to trust a special person in my life again?  Will I have the strength to stay strong and independant?

It’s been nearly two years now, but I’m still battling to end the marriage.  He’s been living with her since I left.  Why not finalise the divorce?  I’m healing slowly but surely and I know I’m not the only one that got left behind, while the other one moved on.  There’s a lot of hurt in the world. It’s time for me to move on.

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Magnolias Magnolias
46-50, F
4 Responses Mar 26, 2009

hope everything works out for you. I am also getting divorce, no children. Second marriage. Sending you a cyberhug. I understand that need to be hugged, protected, loved. Lilly

Debysboys, I've got a church but its difficult to share everything. thank you for your support<br />
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Missmadam, I were on my way to hell while married, but I didn't think so. After I left i realised that this is maybe the place God wants me. Thank you for your support

Why are u on the way to hell? U have escaped a living nightmare..<br />
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Your path to happiness awaits you. Take time to heal rest and you will feel better.<br />
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I wish you and your family all the best.

I am very sorry that you had to go through all of that.<br />
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It sound like you have gone though the roughest stuff!<br />
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You have your daughter, thats good. Do you have a <br />
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church home? Or good friends to talk with? Good Luck