Getting A Divorce After 15 Years Of Marriage
I am so sad. :( It is all my fault and my choice and my doing, but, I am getting a divorce.
I got married at 21 to a wonderful woman, someone that despite my actions, I love dearly. The thing is, we always lacked certain aspects of our marriage which have made me unhappy. She is a sexless person, has no need nor craving for it. She said so too. The first 8 years we fought and tried to work it out, but, she just didnt want sex often. We had it once every 4 months (at first), then eventually once every year.
I tried to divorce her, but, I loved all her good traits more than this bad one.
Then one day, I got too tired, and stopped sexually approaching her. That was 8 years ago. I've not made any sexual advances. In the last 5 years, however, we have made 3 kids. We had sex (bad horrible sex) to make the kids. The first one took a while to make. The second one only 3 months and the 3rd one one month. It was horrible sex. She would lay down, spread and say "hurry up and do your thing."
yeah. that doesnt make a guy feel good.
Anyways. Also about 4 years ago I had an affair - she never found out. IT made me feel alive! It lasted 8 months.
Then about 2 years ago, I had another affair, also lasting 8 months.
I thought I had found a system. Have an extramarital affair on the side, and continue with my amazing family.
Let me say - you have NO IDEA how much I love my kids. They are everything. I am a super involved dad.
But then 8 months ago, I met a another woman. This time, it was different. It got emotional. I fell in love.
She showed me that there was little point in living life this way, miserable. She showed me how to be strong and stand up for what I want.
I have since told my wife that I want a divorce.
So now, I can't see my kids often cause she has kicked me out. I told her of the affair too. She asked me to stop seeing this other woman, so we could work on our marriage - but I refused. Why would I want to leave someone who made me happy??
That's my story.