If I Don't Experience It Then I Can't Believe It!

I used to be fascinated by the supernatural as a youngster, I loved programmes like 'mysteries' and 'strange but true', I was young and did believe.  I still love to read books that have a supernatural element, most recently I liked the gargolye by andrew davidson and season of the witch by natasha mostert.

I grew in a family where supernatural experiences were common place, someone always had a story to tell about a ghost or a dream that came true.  As a child I loved these stories and even experienced things myself.  But now I am an adult my logical rational mind has taken and I have become skeptical, I am still open minded but I want to see it and experience it for myself before I willing to believe.  I want it to be true, I want there to be something more to this reality but I will not have blind faith!

I used to beleive in aliens, but I haven't seen any little green men in a while.  I have read about channeled alien entities such as Ra and Seth and find these materials interesting and I am open to the possibility that they are real, i guess it doesn't matter if they are real because they are really just another way of looking at reality.  I have also come across ideas about ET wanderers and star seeds and again I accept that this could be a possibility but I am always going to have some element of skepticism.  I guess part of me if drawn to the supernatural still, but I want to know that its real not just beleive that its real.  The supernatural could one day be natural!

The whole mayan calender 2012, world ending - new age thing is a nice idea, but I just feel like everybody has jumped on the 2012 band wagon.  I'd love it we were evolving onto the next level of consciousness.  I read about it and I want to be true but its a bit to far fetched for me.

My mum is very into astrology and reading the tarot, and I do beleive that if used properly these tools can be effective.  But I think that they can be abused and taken too seriously.  The tarot for example can be turned to, to often as an aid to making decisions, but people need to be strong in themselves enough to make those decision.  For me if the tarot tells what I want to here that I am inclined to be beleive and if it tells me what i don't want to here then I inclined to think they are just cards and thats all.  I beleive in free will and that I create my own future, but the tarot and astrology can add a greater awareness of ones current situation.

I have this clashing dichotomy of being drawn to the supernatural / metaphysical but at the same time being skeptical, i wouldn't have it any other way really.  I keep an open mind to anything but accept nothing 100%.

eelarc eelarc
26-30, F
Feb 20, 2010