I Found Out Hubby Was Having An Affair About Six Weeks Ago I Am Still Getting Over It ...

I found out about six weeks ago that my angel  without wings husband had been having an affair.  To say it was mindblowing is an understatement.  I went through so many emotions in that five minutes it was unbelieveable. 

He told me that he loved this other women and was leaving me for her, that he had had a great seven years but he wasn't in love with me anymore.  We ended up spending the rest of the night talking, crying, shouting, and trying to understand what the hell had happened! 

We ended up deciding to give our marriage another go, and at first things were okay, but I have found int he last few weeks my trust for him is nothing, I am constantly wanting to know where he is what he's doing, what's going on with his phone, why he isn't bring his phone in the house, etc etc the list goes on.  I know that I am not helping the situation, but I just feel so hurt by everything and feel as though it has been brushed completely under the carpet.  He has never been a great talker, and I feel that now he should be making more of an effort. 

I do still love him dearly, and he says he loves me, I just want to know how everyone else has coped because I am really struggling!!!!  Really struggling. 

liddlowtypingservices liddlowtypingservices
36-40
4 Responses Jul 16, 2010

I'm in the same boat. My husband fell for a coworker, and told her about all of the issues in our marriage...without ever having the decency to tell me. I'm totally heartbroken that he lost a connection with me, and instead of trying to rebuild it, went looking for someone else to connect with. I don't know when I will be able to be around him and not worry that he taking the dog for a walk so he can talk to or text her. It sucks.

Your story could be mine. I found out about 5 weeks ago. He had his first one 10 years ago, but I think it was just a fling. This one was with someone he went to high school with. Luckily, they live 9 hours apart and can't see each other. He told me he broke up with her last week, but I am not convinced that they are still not talking. He said they had an emotional tie, because we did not. I understand that they were there for each other, but everytime he picks up his phone, he has 2, one personal and one for work. or his computer I cringe. I can go into our cell phone account and see when things arr running in his phone and my imagination goes wild. I saw him sitting on the side of the road on the way home yesterday, and he said he was on a call, but then again, I am skeptical. What do I do? I have started counseling and he is going to go too. We have been communicating better lately. If I could just be sure that she is out of the picture. I am driving myself crazy. If you figure out how to stop obsessing, please share. .

Your story really hit close to home. I am experiencing the same situation. My partner of 15 years had an affair that lasted three months and I found out about it 9 weeks ago and I find that the trust issue is a big problem with me. I constantly want to know who is calling him on his cell phone. I wake up wondering if he is texting while he is in the kitchen or if he gets up to drink water. It is just crazy.<br />
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My partner is the one that told me about the affair. Claiming that he had found someone who loved him and that he loved her. He told me all this after trying to initate sex one morning.

Your story really hit close to home. I am experiencing the same situation. My partner of 15 years had an affair that lasted three months and I found out about it 9 weeks ago and I find that the trust issue is a big problem with me. I constantly want to know who is calling him on his cell phone. I wake up wondering if he is texting while he is in the kitchen or if he gets up to drink water. It is just crazy.<br />
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My partner is the one that told me about the affair. Claiming that he had found someone who loved him and that he loved her. He told me all this after trying to initate sex one morning.

Hi there, I am sad to say that I am still checking his phone, and my stomach still lurches everytime his phone goes. We went through counselling, but sadly he cheated with her again after we had completed it, so it sort of made that defunct!

I don't really think that once this happened you can ever really get back to being normal, I think the fear is always there sadly. I think the hardest thing to deal with was the anger, which was all consuming as well as the mental images of him with another woman.

We have not had "relations" at all since he slept with her as he managed to catch a STI/STD so I once again lose out, we have had arguments, I've cried, I've pleaded and I've lost my cool about it. But we are working through each day as best we can.